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  1. What is your kintype? (Just include the one you're focusing on.)

    Blue Diamond from Steven Universe
    Do you identify for spiritual or psychological reasons?

    Spiritually because of my memories that I have that equal to the intensity of those of my other past life Kintypes, meeting spirits who were with me in that life, and the feeling of looking onto Blue Diamond in the fashion of “I was you, am still you, will always be you, just not on the outside.”
    When was your awakening (if you had one)?
    My awakening to having a gem Kintype was during the episode Jail Break where I started getting the feeling of belonging in that world, however when Blue Diamond appeared I was set on being kin with Peridot that I ignored her until the episode That will be All during the song “What’s the use of feeling blue.”
    If you had one, do you believe something specific triggered your awakening?
    The song and hearing Blue Pearl’s voice was a huge trigger to it.
    If you had one, how long did your awakening last? Was it a sudden realisation, or did it take time?
    It was a sudden realization, the only Kintype that is like that, to the song that forced me to look at all these character so much closer before seeing that I was Blue Diamond.
    If you had one, what did you feel during your awakening?
    “oh crap oh crap oh crap dat me”
    Did you experience shifts and/or feelings of being non-human prior to your awakening?
    Yes I did because I was awakened as Otherkin prior to seeing Blue Diamond, and most of the shifts I felt before seeing Blue Diamond were muddy and hard to describe now but was a mix of mental and dream shifts.
    Did you know about otherkin/therians prior to your awakening? If yes, do you think learning about otherkin/therians played a part in triggering your awakening?
    Yes I did, and I think it helped me guide my feelings better but I don’t think it played a huge part because I didn’t go into the episode actively looking for an identity. It was a sudden slap in the face for the most part.
    If you didn't know about otherkin/therians prior to your awakening, how did you come across the community?
    N/A
    Did you automatically know your species/race when you awakened?
    When I came across the idea of being Kin with someone from Steven Universe I had no idea who or what I was. I felt drawn to Peridot, Jasper, Eyeball, Sardonyx, a non-canon gem, and.so.many.more. before I joined Kinmunity and basically dropped all of them because I knew they weren’t actual Kintypes. So no, no I didn’t.
    If yes, did you make any attempts to verify this identification? If no, how did you discover your species/race (if you have)?
    Through the song. Hearing the voices of them all and the scenery and just the empathy I felt with Blue Diamond was as if looking back on a sad memory than relating to a close friend.
    Have you ever misidentified your species/race? If so, what did you mistake yourself for, and why do you think this was?
    YES. YES.YES. I THINK I SUMMED IT UP ABOVE QUITE WELL.
    Do you experience involuntary mental shifts? If so, what are they like? How often do you have them?

    Yes I do, and I would say these are a lot less often than others but I would say they keep a steady rhythm. They are quite…less powerful I guess because it doesn’t effect- for the most part- my mental train of thought.

    Are they triggered by anything in particular?
    Thinking about or seeing something that relates to her.
    Do you experience voluntary mental shifts? If so, what are they like, and how do you control them?
    No, because I find it quite hard to for some reason.
    Do you experience involuntary phantom shifts? If so, what are they like? How often do you have them? Are they triggered by anything in particular?
    No.
    Do you experience voluntary phantom shifts? If so, what are they like, and how do you control them?
    No.
    Do you experience dream shifts? If so, how often? Are there any recurring themes? Are your dream shift settings/experiences the same as in normal dreams, or are there notable differences?
    Yes I do. While it is rare the dream always has me in one of the diamond’s courts or someone else on Homeworld. These dreams are completely different from my normal dreams because I have never seen these places
    Do you experience any other kind of shift? If so, elaborate.
    Not that I have picked up on. But like stated Blue Diamond is a Kintype with few shifts and those I do know about are very weak.
    What experiences and feelings led you to identify as your kintype rather than with it?
    Like I said above, when I see her and feel her emotions it’s like looking back on your memories and feeling your emotions from that time instead of the feeling you get whenever your friend got hurt where the only thing you can is relate with them.
    To what extent do you see yourself as (non-physically) nonhuman? Do you identify as human as well as your kintype?
    I identify with my Kintype as well as Human because the body and soul are two different things to me.
    What led you to believe that your identity is spiritual or psychological in nature? Have you ever believed the other was true, or seriously considered that it may be?
    The memories I have are to the same vibe of those I get from my past life Kintypes. I have looked at the psychological identity for quite a while but didn’t fit.
    Do you have any past life memories (if your beliefs are spiritual) or artificial memories/flashbacks (if your beliefs are psychological)? If so, describe them.
    Yes, yes I do:

    Memories (earliest to newest in canon):

    • I remember going to White Diamonds court. There was a statue of her, just taller than myself, and the buildings were triangular. Everything also had a green tint to it, but that may have been a reference to “The Return,” which I had not yet seen. While I was there I remember seeing a Light Blue/ White gem that looked similar to Holly Blue- but not- and a green gem that looked similar to a Peridot with limb enhancers, however we were not in Era 2 yet. They seemed to be talking to a red gem much smaller than them and that seemed to be higher ranked.
    • There was a place with white columns, glass/no walls and ceiling that all the Diamonds met. On the floor there was the Diamond Authority insignia- with Pink Diamond- and we all sat on either low ‘thrones’ or pillows like seen in Pink’s room.
    • The day when Sapphire and Ruby fused I overreacted in my punishment, my emotions controlled my logic. So sorry.
    • A talk with Yellow Diamond, I had my hood on and seemed to be sitting in my move able throne. I seemed solemn and she had an expression of fear. Everything was dark.
    Other bits:

    • Blue Pearl and I had a good relationship in terms of Boss and Servant. I wasn’t abusive. Blue Pearl, I believe, had swords as weapons. She used to sings for me, she had a beautiful voice.

    Do you ever feel homesick for the location your kintype lives/lived in? If so, how do you deal with those feelings?
    I wouldn’t say the extent of my other Kintypes but it is there. I just don’t think about it to be honest, it normally helps.
    Are there any locations that make you feel closer to your kintype? Any locations that make you feel disconnected from it?
    The beach, because I have memories of a beach in Homeworld. Farms for some reason make me feel disconnected. I don’t know why.
    Do you experience species dysphoria? If so, how often? To what extent? Do you have any methods of coping with it?
    Not with Blue Diamond, outside of wanting to be tall. LET MY 5’1 BUTT BE TALL GOSH DARN IT.
    Do you have any behaviours or quirks that you attribute to your kintype?
    My reserved nature I guess.
    Do you have any nonstandard thought processes or instinctual reactions that you attribute to your kintype?
    Not that I know of.
    Do you have any personality traits that you attribute to your kintype?
    Nope
    Do you have any nonstandard beliefs, ethics or morals that you attribute to your kintype?
    Superiority? I once again don’t know.
    Why do you believe the above behaviours/traits/etc. are related to your kintype?
    I DON’T KNOW.
    Do you feel that having a nonhuman identity has been a positive, negative or neutral experience? Have you ever tried to deny your nonhuman identity?
    Neutral. Yes, yes I have.
    Do you ever wish you could change your kintype? If so, what would you rather be?

    Not a fictional character from a Popular TV show that basically everyone is Kin from. Maybe something from Wings of Fire, please….please….
  2. When I was younger, as many of you have most likely heard or read, I used to be a Christian. I guess I have to put a disclaimer and say that I am talking about my former church and not the religion as a whole so that I don't get people biting at my throat. And when I say Christian I mean the typical conservative, southern redneck Christian that was completely anti-LGBT, abortion, all that 'wonderful' jazz. When I look back on those memories I am met with hatred. Why did I allow myself to be there? Why did I feed into their mentality of being higher up and closer to God all because I go to church or that I prayed before every piece of food I ate or because I maintained a prayer journal. Why did I allow myself to believe that I no matter what I do I will never be perfect in God's eyes. Then days like these come about. I go onto Facebook and search up the Church. I scroll down, hoping to see that they collapsed without me or that they truly miss my presents. But as I scroll further and further I realize that they just adapted and moved on. The only contact I was ever given by them since I left was a Birthday card they sent on my 13th birthday. Thats when I start to hate myself for remembering the wonderful times I had there. My friends I left behind. The place where I used to hide all the time. My seat in the auditorium. Just to see my seat filled up by a new person I had never even met before. My seat. But I left. Why do I care that even though I went there longer than I have been gone by a decade that I am probably just a lingering memory of that one fat kid they will never bat an eye at if they see me at Walmart. That I am just someone who will be pitied for having John as my father. That I am just someone who doesn't matter anymore because I am not a weekly reminder at the breakfast table that, woop-dee-do, I exist. I was their family. I was their sister. I felt like I shared their blood through my veins. But I sit here now. Realizing that I was wrong. Typing away my problems for everyone to see.

    Sorry I just needed to vent.
  3. [​IMG]
    no now any i have now, those are fine.

    but a new one.

    guess what.

    its an alien.

    i am starting to hate being otherkin on pure frustration alone.
  4. So when I was on Tumblr (yeah yeah one of those stories) and first came across Fictionkin and started to look into it the game Undertale came out and I started to get memories for one of the characters: Toriel. Many, many, MANY memories. And I thought I was faking but now here I am, still think Toriel.

    Then Snivy, who I already think is a Kintype, with many memories and feelings, like....wow.

    So yeah.

    There's that.

    Maybe, maybe not. Theses are characters that I have done the 32 grilling questions, meditated on, even asked a pendulum blog on Tumblr and my own pendulum about and got YES. So, what else can I do to even say this isn't a Kintype. Should I stop running from it?

    help
  5. ok....ok...ok....
    This is the part of the Otherkin community I like to observe but not really put my toes into: Fictionkin.
    "But your fictionkin!" yes, i know this.
    I guess in the best terms that I can find at the moment is...I feel unreal. Like I know, all of this could just be the over imagination of a teenage boy but what keeps me from saying that is that it feels real. But is feeling real enough? Is the realness you feel when you say you are a Fictional character enough? No, it isn't for me. Then I get feelings. I get those feelings of when I was this person and I remember, oh yeah it is real. Then the real scary thing is, I start to feel this for another fictional being....and another...then you get memories....then you get scared that if I add these- if I entertain this though just long enough- that you may accidentally come across the truth of weather it is true or not.
    Is it because having more than 5 Kintypes is generally frowned upon? Well then that is the community, not your feelings because you can't choose how many Kintypes you have or what they are. Is it because it may mess up your aesthetic? Maybe, I mean you paint yourself as this person who knows everything about your identity then you get feelings and memories you didn't know about and you realize "oh crap, I have said that I am x, y and z, nothing more than x, y, and z, but now I could be a, b, and c now? What will everyone think?" Then you post it and you see that no one really cares. They just see you posted something new, read the first few lines then carry on.
    Is it my feelings, or the community that makes me feel...invalid...Idk any more.
  6. Not Angel, Elf.

    I was not Divine in the way of directly serving the Divine like and Angel would, but the world I have seen has have many similarities to that of an Elf so that is the best term I have found so far.

    Case closed, hopefully forever, probably not.
  7. I remember seeing what appeared to be a place like Rose Quartz's room pink and cloudy, and I think it was Pink Diamond's. I also remember talking to Yellow Diamond, I couldn't see the background but I think it was in the song Whats the point in feeling blue before Yellow has her emotional moment.

    Just this is...this is crazy...like a lot.
  8. Most Kintypes I have questioned were rejected. Either a mere connection with the thing or a cameo shift. But now... this is weird.
    I look at pictures of Blue Diamond and I see myself. I look into her eyes and see my eyes, I see her pain and feel my pain. I look at her like I would look at a picture of my Dragonself and I would see me.
    This has only happened once before when I first saw a wild coyote and met its eyes. It saw me as a Coyote, asking why I was so differrent but so like it, how I was a Coyote but a Human. I look at Blue Diamond and think it is me but in a differrent skin.
    It is just...weird...and I haven't been like this in a long time...is this what legit Kinfeels feel like? Am I just being biased or something? Aaaaaaaa???
  9. Something I have noticed is that most of the Fictiotypes I have questioned have been mainly blue in color. Like I have questioned Outertale Napstablook, Hailstorm, Strategos Six, Undyne, Rainbow Dash, Lapis Lazuli, Clinoclase (a steven universe oc), and a lot others. And now I am questioning another blue character and it is really weird.
    kiror likes this.
  10. Is it bad that I got Kinfeels during the new Steven Universe episodes??? Especially for a gem (not sure who) that served under Blue Diamond???? I have gone through Steven Universe Kintypes when I thought a connection=Kintype but I am now like legit feeling something and just?????
  11. *Most of this is going to be senseless rambling so I stared all the Paragraphs that should be read.

    *Let’s start with the Demon identity. I do not feel like that is accurate as I do not describe myself as evil but as darkness, which I view as two different things. And, as much as it pains me to say, I was wrong in saying that it was a Kintype, more like a coping mechanism that I developed subconsciously. That is the only reason I don't say it is a Copinglink. So to be honest I have no idea what it is, only what it is not.


    But what has I learned from this? I'm not a Demon but maybe a different kind of Divine? Now I am using the term Divine to apply anything that could be related to a God like figure, like Angels and Demons. Also let me say that everything I talk about here will not ascribe to the Abrahamic religions.


    *So let’s go back the beginning when I was a Baby Kin! One of the first Kintypes I ever questioned having was a Griffin one, and because of the fact I was on Tumblr at the time, I was like "Have a connection, must be me!" After I had to leave Tumblr for a while I had forgotten of that Kintype that is until I did my first YouTube Guided Past Life Regression and a Griffin came up as that life however it had a different appearance than the first. The second PLR that I did came up with an anthro-alien creature that was a Soldier (more like body guard) to a Princess or high ranking noble, so much so that I was created just to serve her. After that I did some mediation and came across an avian (a human with bird wings basically) who was a Knight. Along with that mediation session I saw myself in various dreams with said wing patterns and colors that is one of the things that lead me to the Himalayan Vulture Kintype.


    *Let’s start with the Griffins. I looked up the symbolism into Griffins and I found out that it is a symbol of guardianship and protectors which tie into the Alien that was created for the sole purpose of being a Soldier. To be a living being just to protect a person who actually ended up betraying him, cutting off his wings, and his left foot (this will be important later). Now where does the protector role also play in? The Avian person who was seen protecting an assumed Kingdom from an enemy that looked like shadows. Like I stated above the wing patterns on the avian pointed me in the direction of the Vulture, but I think that was taken a step too far and it should have stayed with the Avian.


    *Now let’s go back to the leg. Remember Teemu? With a partially paralyzed left foot? And wings on a humanoid body? Hmm??


    (I hate how I always start a paragraph with "so" and "now" but hey) As a child I have been in contact with Angels and Divine beings, with my mom actually telling me a story of when I met the Holy Spirit (which I doubt). Along with that while I was doing all this self-searching I came across a drawing I did years ago with an Angel drawn on it. Now I don't believe that this Angel is me, but I feel like he was significant in my identity.


    So if this all is true why you don’t just say you were a human with bird wings and not an Angel, because using the definition above I feel I used to, somehow, interact with a Deity or Divine of some sort. I don't feel like I was a full-time servant of this being but I was created by it. Now how I came to be here is something I am still trying to find some theories that fit but I am pretty sure I am not a shard or a fallen angel. I may be more of an Incarnated however I have not done my research too much into Incarnated Angels (New age and otherwise) to make a firm claim.


    I think the best course of action right now is to do the 32 Grilling Questions so let’s get into it:

    *What is your kintype? (Just include the one you're focusing on.)
    Divine, Possibly Angel
    Do you identify for spiritual or psychological reasons?
    Spiritual, since this would replace Teemu as the Dontarian form and being.
    When was your awakening (if you had one)?
    Dontarian awakening was my first awakening and happened when I was about 4-6 years old
    If you had one, do you believe something specific triggered your awakening?
    Trauma is the best I can think of.
    If you had one, how long did your awakening last? Was it a sudden realization, or did it take time?
    It is still going on!
    If you had one, what did you feel during your awakening?
    Well since it started right after my first exorcism I would say I was pretty scared, and confused.
    Did you experience shifts and/or feelings of being non-human prior to your awakening?
    Mildly, I wouldn’t say anything really happened until after.
    Did you know about otherkin/therians prior to your awakening? If yes, do you think learning about otherkin/therians played a part in triggering your awakening?
    No I did not know about Otherkin.
    If you didn't know about otherkin/therians prior to your awakening, how did you come across the community?
    A YouTube video.
    Did you automatically know your species/race when you awakened?
    If I did why am I here?
    If yes, did you make any attempts to verify this identification? If no, how did you discover your species/race (if you have)?
    N/A
    Have you ever misidentified your species/race? If so, what did you mistake yourself for, and why do you think this was?
    Again why am I here?!
    Do you experience involuntary mental shifts? If so, what are they like? How often do you have them? Are they triggered by anything in particular?
    The mindset of a Dontarian is human but advanced, so any mental shift I do have is more of something I can’t really notice.
    Do you experience voluntary mental shifts? If so, what are they like, and how do you control them?
    No I don’t.
    Do you experience involuntary phantom shifts? If so, what are they like? How often do you have them? Are they triggered by anything in particular?
    Wings are the main one, along with the armor I used to wear.
    Do you experience voluntary phantom shifts? If so, what are they like, and how do you control them?
    Wings, every once in a blue moon I can control them and it is really frustrating because I can flap them all I can but I can’t fly.
    Do you experience dream shifts? If so, how often? Are there any recurring themes? Are your dream shift settings/experiences the same as in normal dreams, or are there notable differences?
    The Dreams shifts came later on in this Kin adventure when I started to get dreams where I had wings with a specific color scheme and pattern that would continue for several nights and into my meditation sessions.
    Do you experience any other kind of shift? If so, elaborate.
    I would say sensory but it is more of me putting more emphasis on my sight than it actually changing.
    What experiences and feelings led you to identify as your kintype rather than with it?
    Since I was a kid I always knew that these feelings of a different me, in this case the Dontarians, lead me to know that I am whatever this is, I identify as it because it is me in whatever life and I will always be that thing in my soul.
    To what extent do you see yourself as (non-physically) nonhuman? Do you identify as human as well as your kintype?
    I see my soul as nonhuman and I identify as a human as much as I can, it’s not that I hate being human (quite the contrary really) it’s just not always been me.
    What led you to believe that your identity is spiritual or psychological in nature? Have you ever believed the other was true, or seriously considered that it may be?
    The PLRs that I have done along with Spirits (and Angels) that I have met and felt a belonging with. I did actually think it was Psychological, and it may very well be, but it doesn’t cover every feeling I have felt and every experience I have had.
    Do you have any past life memories (if your beliefs are spiritual) or artificial memories/flashbacks (if your beliefs are psychological)? If so, describe them.
    The first memory I ever had of this possible Kintype was me flying into battle to defeat an enemy that looked like shadows, like Pitch Black only with black, broken and torn wings and armor that sparkled a dark gray. I also remember the place I lived, Dontra, and the port that held the ships and the castle gardens and corridors and throne room, then I remember a smaller village where another angel went, and a sacred room with something like a pool of life, and lastly a burning forest. I have seen other things like the type of magic I used, my armor, and a snowy mountain top.
    Do you ever feel homesick for the location your kintype lives/lived in? If so, how do you deal with those feelings?
    Oh yes I do, I just want to be back there and to see everything again and to just know that is where I belong and that is where I will go again, but then I remember this home and whatever destiny I have here that I must fulfill before I go back.
    Are there any locations that make you feel closer to your kintype? Any locations that make you feel disconnected from it?
    Renaissance fairs, forests, snowy mountain tops.
    Do you experience species dysphoria? If so, how often? To what extent? Do you have any methods of coping with it?
    I just want my wings gosh darn it.
    Do you have any behaviours or quirks that you attribute to your kintype?
    No not really, I would say being protective but that is probably a stretch.
    Do you have any nonstandard thought processes or instinctual reactions that you attribute to your kintype?
    Whenever I am in trouble or about to get into a fight my first instinct is to have my wings surround me like a shield and to put my hand on my sword hilt but I have neither of those things. I also like to attribute my synesthesia to this Kintype as I process all things in emotions and colors (like the sound of my keyboard is a yellow sound).
    Do you have any personality traits that you attribute to your kintype?
    Over protectiveness.
    Do you have any nonstandard beliefs, ethics or morals that you attribute to your kintype?
    Other than the fact I believe I was an angel in a past life?
    Why do you believe the above behaviours/traits/etc. are related to your kintype?
    It’s like saying how do you know your behaviors link to your Human self, you just know who you are or were.
    Do you feel that having a nonhuman identity has been a positive, negative or neutral experience? Have you ever tried to deny your nonhuman identity?
    Positive, and I spent the first 11 years of my life trying to deny it.
    Do you ever wish you could change your kintype? If so, what would you rather be?
    Nope.
    Do you think this is enough questions for now? I sure hope so!

    Yep, that was good!

    *13 hours pass because I needed to sleep and I do some research into Incarnated Angels*

    Did some research and I found what seemed to be the standard in the New Age belief so here is what I got.

    (This list is from Doreen Virtue’s page on Incarnated Angels)

    *1. Incarnated angels have "sweet" facial features, usually with a heart-shaped face and childlike features. I would say I have childlike features I do not have a heart-shaped face.

    2. They have a history of "codependent" relationships, because of their predisposition to giving and nurturing others. They also can see the best in everyone, so they often stay in abusive relationships longer than the average person would tolerate. I do often see myself drawn to those who are more angered and abusive (aka my last boyfriend). My mother and my grandmother both work in occupations that did nurtured others, my mom being a Therapist and grandma being a retired nurse.

    3. Incarnated angels often have histories of compulsive overeating, or other addictions. This is especially true for angels who are disconnected from their spirituality. I have gotten over an eating disorder and have lost about 30 ibs as of writing this.

    4. They are natural healers and helpers, and often have healing professions such as nursing, massage therapy, social work, or teaching. Strangers pour out their hearts to them, and often say, "I don't know why I'm telling you such private things about myself. There's just something about you that I feel I can trust." I am the mom of my friends, the therapist on the go, the one that normally help out emotionally and physically. I also need to go back and reference my mother and grandma with their professions.

    5. Incarnated angels are very generous people who sometimes have difficulty in receiving. Consequently, they can manifest lack in their lives by blocking the flow of money, love, energy, and other natural resources, from coming into their lives. This is also the kid who never accepted money as a kid whenever I did anything for anyone else, I had a hard time to even accept food and drink while at a party or sleep over. This was because of the lack of self worth that I felt when John abandoned me. Luckily I have come to terms of knowing that I am not a waste.

    Both groups — the star people and incarnated angels — are highly intuitive. Yet, they often have difficulty trusting their intuition. This is actually pretty correct. The amount of money I could have betted on things I was correct on would have set me for life. And it is also true I don’t really trust it as I was trying to use more logic than gut feelings.

    This wouldn’t be the first New Age identity I have resonated with, others being Indigo children and Starseeds. So for this to be accurate for me was not a surprise. I also know that this kind of stuff could be generalized to reach a mass amount of people, but I like to take the benefit of the doubt.

    So that’s all I got. Thoughts, concerns, anything, I just need some help!

    -Vik
  12. That moment when your Darkkin identity is probably a lot deeper than Psychological things but you can’t find anything else out but that but then you remember a drawing you did of an angel like creature and interacting with an angel when you were younger and you have no idea anymore.
  13. Earlier this week I created a Grill me Thread (which you guys should totally ask me questions I am really bored) and on there I mentioned a questioning Kintype of mine being a Demon like creature. @FaerieForged responded and asked if it may be a Copinglink since it developed through trauma. I did some refreshing on Copinglinks and Psychological Otherkinity and I found something really interesting that I feel I should expand upon.

    The definition of a Copinglink is:
    1. A non-human identity (or in some cases, relation) which is consciously created. The creator is able to change and pick who/what they identify as/with as need dictates. This identity can be created by anyone, and thus, is not dictated by one’s mental health.
    2. A consciously created coping mechanism which centers around knowingly, willingly, and actively identifying as (or in some cases, with) the user’s choice of a non-human entity.
    (source: What is a Copinglink?)

    The take away is obviously that a Copinglink is "consciously created" and that it "centers around knowingly, willingly, and actively identifying as...the user's choice of non-human entity." So the person creates the link and chooses to identify with it.

    That is where I fall short with using the term Copinglink. I never consciously decided to identify as a demon. At the time I started to go through my darker times I was a hardcore Christian and felt any other way is Satanism and I would go to hell for the rest of eternity if I thought any other way. I doubt that my younger self would consciously choose to identify as a demon and I just forgot about it.

    However I do line up with the "coping" in Copinglink so what gives? Well as I said I also read up on Psychological Otherkinity and in the article Introductory Guide to Psychological Otherkinity it goes into detail about some a form of such identity that bases around trauma, it specifically says:

    Psychological Otherkinity as a result of coping or trauma. This is characterized by the belief that one’s non-human identity came about as a result of significant trauma or prolonged coping with personal hardships. This is not to be confused with a coping mechanism. A coping mechanism is something that someone chooses to do in order to deal with stress. Otherkin do not choose to identify as non-human or their kintype.

    Lets start with the beginning of that segment. I will go ahead and quote what I have said in my Kin Ponders- Dragon 2.0:

    At church I was pinned to be a more wicked person for several reasons- for starters I was a girl that didn't want to be a girl (pinning me as being possessed by a demon and having to go through an exorcism when I was kindergarten (Like literally they pinned their most wicked, evil creature in the world to a 6 year old)).

    I went through two (TWO) exorcisms as a child that I can remember. When I was six. Now it wasn't some tie me to a cross with priests shooting me with holy water guns, but it was something that scarred me enough as a child that my mother had to put me through a year of therapy. That wasn't the only thing that happened to me at that Church, and that is something I would prefer not to go into here. Lets just say I am glad I left.

    This led me to the second possible reason for Psychological Otherkinity:

    Psychological Otherkinity as an inherent/innate part of one’s Psyche. This is characterized by the belief that one’s non-human identity was present in the mind/brain from birth. It is possible to believe that whatever causes one to identify as non-human was present from birth even if the identity developed later in life. Similarly, many believe that they were not “born with” a non-human identity, but perhaps that they were born pre-disposed to certain elements of the identity that result in developing a non-human identity over time

    So maybe this whole Demon thing could be due to trauma and certain elements that lead me to identify as such?

    Another possible explanation FaeireForged presented is that it could be a personification of the trauma, this was a thought that has crossed my mind before. The thing is I feel like this is me and not another entity in my mind. I went through this trauma, I (might) have took on this identity, and I guess my pride got in the way of this Demon splitting into a new system mate.

    What do you all think? Is this enough to call it or is there another thing I should look out for?

    -Vik
  14. Shifts (going in order of the article What's Therianthropy?)

    Mental:
    • The mind set of my Dragon Kintype is always melded into mine in terms of instincts, partially because I am so connected to this Kintype than others (it being the first Kintype I ever truly explored and discovered, etc.) and also because I spent about three years of my life living being what I considered a Dragon in a Humans body.
    Spiritual:
    • In meditation sessions it is actually really hard to take on the form of my Dragon self, it think it may be because it is more of a psychological Kintype than spiritual but other than that I don't know.

    Sensory:

    • I feel my sensory shifts are things my mind makes up whenever I mentally shift fully, my body just seems to be putting more focus on my senses to make them work "better."
    Aura:

    • I have only ever had my aura in the shape of my human body.
    Dream:
    • I actually don't remember any dreams of me being a dragon, I have had some with dragon parts like wings and horns but never full on dragon.
    Cameo:

    • I have had to many shifts and experiences for this to be a Cameo shift.
    Astral:

    • I have never been on the Astral plane.
    Phantom:
    • Normally horns or wing stubs.
    • On some occasions I feel full wings and on rarer I am able to control them.
    • The most common phantom shift underneath horns and wing stubs is a full body shift where I feel like my body is the torso and head of the dragon and then my back legs are completely separate. It is really weird.

    Bi-Location:

    • I have been unable to do a Bi-location shift.
    Physical:

    • I wish...

    I was in third grade. I was never the popular one, I was never the fully hated one, I was the forgettable one until I mess up REALLY badly then everyone knew my entire life story. At this time my bio father, I call him John, was pushing religion really hard on me, to the point where it seemed cult like. (Now I am NOT saying that the religion as a whole is a cult, but how it was presented to me links to cult like behaviors.) At church I was pinned to be a more wicked person for several reasons- for starters I was a girl that didn't want to be a girl (pinning me as being possessed by a demon and having to go through an exorcism when I was kindergarten (Like literally they pinned their most wicked, evil creature in the world to a 6 year old)). So needless to say I was really shut off from a lot of stuff.

    So one day in school we went to the library and I picked up a book about dragons. Their adventures, their lives, how they can be the heroes of the day even as a big, scary creature. Thats when it clicked. I was seen as a scary creature in my own mind, but I want to be the hero of the day, so I guess I was a dragon in human form. I started to feel wings and horns, and an outline of my life as a dragon melded into my consciousness- like I finally found the key to a chest.

    I told my mom and she said that I can be whatever I wanted to be. I was free to be me and everything was perfect. I told what friends I had that I was a dragon, some saw me as being weird and others saw me as just pretending so they joined in and for a while I had a big dragon family to be with! I grew up and I kept this thought in my head. The others saw that I wasn't make believing and started to label me as a freak but I didn't care! I was a dragon after all!...

    Then John fought harder for control over my mind. He forced Christianity onto me, his way of thinking, everything. I was a little thing of clay that he wanted to mold how he pleased. He shamed me into thinking I was so sinful- and that me being like this would never get me into heaven. And it worked. I started to think that this whole dragon thing was Satan trying to get into my head and turn me against God. I looked onto all of that with such spite and disgust. I was finally a righteous child, a child of God! Everything was going to be ok-

    Then John abandoned me.

    This 11 year old child, trying to cope with this lightning fast cut of contact from the person I depended on the most in life for basically everything morally. I felt such a sadness and anxiety of someone else leaving. Most of all I felt God abandoned me. I felt mad at him. I hated him. I blamed him for everything that happened. And some part of me still do- even though I don't believe in that god.

    It wasn't until one day while on Youtube looking up Furry videos that I came across a video called "Therian vs Furry." I watched it.

    I thought it was the most RIDICULOUS thing I have EVER heard....I looked some more into it. Linked everything together. And have been on the Otherkin path ever since!

    -Vik
  15. [​IMG]
    (The form I have given myself. Told you it was my freaking fursona)

    So as I rushed to say in my last blog post I feel I have discovered my soul's origin, aka my first life. I don't know much, but I think it would be best to put down everything I do know about myself, the world I lived in, and some interesting facts that may lead me in a new direction.


    Lets start with the world. The placed I lived was called Dontra (dôn-ter-ô), a kingdom that appears to be based like the Renaissance/ Medieval era of Earth. The Kingdom was positioned by a beach and was surrounded on all sides by a ring of mountains. It used to be a complete circle of mountains bu we destroyed some of the rocky wall to reach the water. I don't know anything about what my species looked like, the life that lived on there, etc. but it seemed very Earth like. This is leading me to the possibility of a pre-human civilization/other dimension Earth civilization as I do know we had human intelligence and walked (mainly) on two feet. I am getting the feeling of my species being a Were-species, possibly canine or a mix of various species. The last thing I know is that, yes, we had magic. Now our magic revolved around colors and was mainly a hereditary gene instead of a skill you learned. For example a family of red magic users can only really excel in red magic, maybe picking up some blue or green magic but they were born red so they are good at red magic. The only exception to this rule was Purple, purple was not a color you were born with but a color you could gain after going through a specific event that is not something that you want to go through…breaking your core, or your physical equivalent of your soul (but they are not the same thing). When you became a Purple magic user that is the ONLY kind of magic you can use, you can’t use your birth magic or one you learned throughout your life. We were Dontarians (dôn-ter-əns).


    Now somethings about myself that I have picked up. One thing I know for sure (maybe??) is about the general outline of my life. Something I have talked about before whenever I talked about my Dragon life is the outline of: Born into a family that had some form of power (royalty or not), a sibling betrays someone of higher power/a treason of some kind and joins the enemy, I and others have to stop whatever it is but with the price of the sibling’s death/life punishment. With the information about the magic given above I can tell you I was born Blue (not actually blue…or sad- oh you know what I mean!) I figured that out because my aura is Blue, and your color is what you are born with (blue aura blue magic etc.) However I feel like something happened and I got Purple magic along the way.


    How have I learned all this? Well like I said it started with my Dragon Kintype. I thought that was my first life and when I started to get the basic outline I gave above I attributed it to my Dragon life, when really I didn’t have human intelligence in that life. Along with that whenever I mediate my “starting zone” was Dontra before we ever discovered it so the ring of mountains is still there, the forest boarding the inside of the mountains is still there, and the single boulder in the center of the field is still there. There is also a cave at the top of one of the mountains that seems important (since I go there a lot) but I still have no clue of its importance. Theory right now is that it is some sacred sight. Whenever I shift into this Kintype my mental state is that of a human, so we had human intelligence, and my left food always goes numb enough to not have any feeling but still can walk- so I think my left leg was partially paralyzed when my core was broken.


    So why did I name myself Teemu and give myself a form even though I don’t know my true name or form? Because I like giving names and forms to things I don’t know. It is a good place holder to have a form that can change whenever I find something new about myself. Also it is a lot easier to say it is my Teemu Kintype instead of my First Life Kintype or Soul Origin. At least it is form me. Besides I think the name and form fit nicely right now.


    That’s everything I got so far! If you have any questions I can answer them to the best of my ability!

    -Vik