Separate names with a comma.
S(me): Have you ever just knuckled down and focused on a particular task so intently that weeks or even months go by before you realise that you have neglected the things which are important to you?
Kara (mother): A parent knows such a feeling all to well Sark, a mother is pregnant for a few months and thinks of nothing else... Then she gives birth and the distractions continue until the child is old enough to feed themselves. In your case this is not a task that takes months but years.
S: That is true but I am thinking more about everyday tasks that everyone knows and everyone does, like work or study... Or both in some cases.
Kara: Then I would say that you need to make time for your life, and make time for the things that are important to you. Of course work and study are important activities but you must make time for you or real life (not the mundane routine that pays
It has been a while since I have written, life unfortunately got busy and time increasingly scarce. But I have continued my journey throughout and I have continued to try to learn all that I can in this world. My insaciable thirst for knowledge and wisdom has never and will never cease. I look forward to putting pen to paper once more.
I don't suppose I am unique at all when I say that sometimes we all get caught up in our own world and our own lives. This is perhaps one reason for me being so scarce this last few days. With work and other commitments, reality must always take precedence to our own wishes and desires. But this does not mean that we should not find ways and means of, as it were, letting off steam. For me it is not about getting angry or expressing frustration - it is about finding a means of honest expression, taking a few deep breaths and putting pen to paper for a few minutes. This is a very important lesson in life, it is critical for all of us that we find a way and a means of self expression and through that, finding a way to honestly and critically speak our mind. For today I will leave this post with just this one very important point. Self indulgence and self expression are very important aspects of existence that are often overlooked by those who tell us how we should and should not live.
It never fails to surprise me the depths of human depravity. What humans have done and continue to do to themselves and to the world around them is such a sad and shameful testament to just how far they have fallen from nature. My apologies for starting from a somewhat depressing perspective, but it is a view I have held for some time, and a story I have read this morning in the news only sparks those thoughts even further. I will not elaborate on the story, as I do not feel the need to, we have all seen the worst of humanity, one need only open a history book to encounter a plethora or the abhorrent behaviours to which I am referring.
Since I was a small child I have disassociated myself from reality and the world around me, and retreated into my own mind and my own thoughts. Really this is where my journey of self discovery began. In part a loathing for the world around me, and for the people that occupied it. Indeed my human family began to and still to this day feel less and less my kin. I would like to claim that this was entirely their fault, and certainly my human mothers addictions and my human fathers violence and tendency to come home drunk on a nightly basis served only to reinforce the feel of disassociation. They had long since divorced by the time I begun to become more aware of my of dislocation and disassociation with the world around me, and even the sense of “safety” and “security” provided after that did little to make the here and now feel like home or that I belonged in this reality, or in this form. It would be years before I fully understood what it meant, for years I struggled through my life day after day until I turned 15, it was around this time that I dropped out of school, and left home that my self discovery truly begun.
There is no further lesson to be learned for today, only to offer a sense of greater detail and understanding. It seems I have not fully shifted back since waking up this morning which usually occurs over about 15-30 minutes upon rising in the morning, indeed the feeling of pins and needles accompanied by the slow shedding of phantom limbs from the night before appears to have subsided and my phantom limbs remain for the now. Today, it seems I have only partially shifted back, I suppose its a good day to explore and understand more, so this may not be a bad thing.
I do not intend to add to this every day, but at least once or twice a week. However I do find it odd that the more I research and understand it the more powerful these feelings have become. Of course I have maintained full control - but for today, it seems I can not put my tail and snout and ears away, and I have a slight craving for raw meet almost like its time to hunt. Its such a strange and curious feeling.