Separate names with a comma.
I haven't been on in the longest of time-
I haven't been on the site for a little while, sorry about that. It's mostly because I decided to spend a little bit of time on Tumblr. Yes, that site. I know the stigma behind it but, I'd like to talk about my experience with it for a bit.
You see, I've seen many people here talking about how "there are no good or factual otherkin blogs on Tumblr" and in my opinion that has an easy fix. If no ones going to do it for you, do it yourself. So I did. I created my own blog and promised myself that I would post about what I know and if I didn't know something, I'd do some research and then post my findings. No use in complaining if you aren't going to try to fix it right? So I set off to make my blog (it's centered around polymorphic and shapeshifting otherkin) and once I did I met a few others like myself. They didn't mind their identity being questioned and some even liked it! For a while, I couldn't understand what others were talking about, this site wasn't so bad.
Then the more active I become on tumblr the more I began to run into... well... interesting people. It seems that some on that site stack up kintypes like they're playing jinga. It's amazing to see, really. They have pages called "don't follow if" and most of the time they'll have a fit if you follow them and share a kintype. I'd like to point out that most of these people were "fictionkin". (I don't have a problem with fictionkin at all, I used the quotation marks because they're identities were a bit questionable) It gives fictionkin a bad name in my opinion.
I don't believe most people on tumblr understand what being otherkin actually means. They seem to think that "since I identify as, I am" when that isn't exactly true. They don't want to think about the spiritual or psychological aspects behind it and just want to go around seeming "cool". It's saddening since people protect these "otherkin" and what's even sadder is that there are a large amount of "ex-kin" who like to spread around things that just aren't true.
There are a lot of other things about tumblr I didn't like, pseudo gender mentalities, hard left leaning people (I don't have a problem with left leaning people, it's just that these people are often horribly extreme and will curse the name of people who dare think differently) the idea that every space has to be a "safe space" and since I'm a black, non straight, girl who likes boyish clothes and maladaptive daydreams I often get the occasional "you're oppressed! You should be angry! You should hate (insert group here) with us!" remark. I'm not going to neglect my blog but, I am most definitely going to be spending more time on here. Tumblr isn't the best for my mental state (or anyone's for that matter)
And she told me that I clean my teeth too much. I had been having a bit of a toothache for a little while now and it got me a bit worried, so I made an appointment for the dentist. While I was there she sort of looked at me like I was crazy and asked, "how many times do you brush your teeth a day?" I of course told her 3-4 times a day. After having braces for so many years, I got used to constantly brushing and cleaning my teeth. She said the reason why I was having pain was because I had burned my gums; the mouthwash with alcohol and the strong toothpaste I was using had done some damage to the gum area around my teeth. She told me to calm down on the brushing and start using mouthwash without alcohol, she said once I do that my teeth should go back to normal in no time. I'm so relieved.
(Oh and as an ending note, does anyone know how to make a nickname appear on your profile picture thing? I've seen people giving themselves nicknames and I can't seem to figure out how to do it myself )
For about the past month or so I've had the most awful case of writers block. It was pretty torturous too, since it was the kind where I knew what to write but, for some reason I just couldn't put anything down on the page. I can't stand when that happens, it happens rarely but, when it does it hits me hard. I end up not being able to write anything for a few weeks to a month and I'm the type of person who gets ideas hourly. Good thing is that I'm starting to get my muse back, I'm currently working on a short screen play with a friend and a fantasy novel. Both are going well. I can't wait to finish the first draft of my novel too, since I've been working on it for a good year now. My friend also agreed to animate my screenplay, she's works fairly well with MMD models and other models of that type. We're hoping to make a mini web series! So overall, things are going pretty well for me now. ^.^
I wasn't even invited So the neighbors decided to use my family's backyard as a place to host a party today. I live in a duplex so we thought the family upstairs threw it but, they didn't know it was going on either. Now there are police in front of the house, music blaring in the back and tons of people crowding the street. It's a mess, but I swear, it's hilarious.
From as early on as I can remember I always knew that, when using strong intent and having full faith in something you'd most likely get what you desired, if it actually belonged to you. At around the age of 10 I found out that it was called using the law of attraction. That being said, I used to do it a lot as a child and I mean a lot. I was also a tad bit obsessed with magic and witches and loved learning about the religion of Wicca. I personally believe that in a past life I was a witch involved in the Salem burnings, I had a lot of dreams as a child that lead me to believe this and lead to a more than obvious fear of fires
Anyway... my inner circle now tends to call me a witch. They don't use it in a joking manner either, most of my friends and family believe I can use magic and it's a bit strange at times. My mom will sometimes go up to me and say something like "I'm going to the supermarket on Friday, can you use some magic to make sure it's not crowded?" I'll go "You mean use strong intent?" And she'll just agree so I'll do that for her, even though I remind her everyday, that anyone can do it. Well, I sort of jokingly mentioned I was kin and my friend stared at me, narrowed eyed and confused for a while. I got a a little nervous, thinking she thought I was crazy but, all she said was: "Past life? What, no, you're a witch now too. You do magic don't you?" I'd like to clear it up, that I don't follow the religion of Wicca, but I'm extremely interested in it so in short, no I don't do magic
So I've noticed lately that I don't exactly refer to myself in first person, Usually I address myself in a "you" mentality. I'll say things like "Rayya doesn't really drink sweet stuff anymore, she mostly drinks water." Or "idk if Rayya would wear shorts, she gets a little self conscious about her legs." Or "Aw!! Rayya you look so cute today!" And I have no clue if that's normal
I don't even know where it comes from, it seems like the only time I actually say I or me is when I'm writing. Other than that, I use third person. I even use stuff like "Oh Rayya, I love how your hair looks today." And it's not like I feel the need to answer myself, or respond like I'm in a conversation, it literally feels like I'm addressing myself as I even though I'm not,
I've been meditating outside for the past couple of days and it's given me this odd sense of peace, that I can't even explain. The bird chirping, the animals running around, it's so amazing. As I was meditating today, I just had this sudden flash of inspiration, that I wanted to connect to my guardian angel. I've done a higher self meditation before and it felt really, really, good. I felt this love and happiness wash over me, even if it was only for a few seconds. When I was coming out of the meditation though, I saw this golden figure sort of flash by me and smile. I've read that angels often have a goldenish aura, or are a golden energy, so I'm guess that was my guardian angel, since it gave me a really bright smile and seemed so proud and happy to see me. Anyway, I'm gonna meditate for a while and see if I can get anything.
I'm sitting outside right now and I swear, it's so pretty out here. Birds a chirping cute little songs, people are quietly making their ways out of their houses, the sun is hitting me at a perfect angle, it feels almost like its kissing me with its warmth. Man, I haven't seen such a perfect morning in a while. I don't wanna go back inside lol. My mom is staring at me from the window, wondering why I've been out here so long. I'm gonna get some meditation in. Bye guys!
I made a YouTube video on astrological happenings for May OuO
If you'd like, come see it.
Hi...! So I've mention before that I love astrology and I just want to share a little bit with you guys on what's gonna happen this month!
Okay, so the biggest thing we've got happening right now is the Venus in Taurus transit which I have to say is pretty awesome. This transit is gonna help you understand the value and the beauty of all the things around you. If you ever feel that you just need time to pamper yourself and relax this month, best thing to do is to just go ahead and do it. Venus is the planet of love and its Taurus's ruler, so the flow of this month should be pretty easy. We're also gonna be having a grand trine with Mercury, Sun, Pluto, Venus and Neptune! Now this is really make things wonderful. You're going to get a better sense of self this month, you're going to feel more intuitive, more talkative, more grounded. The only thing bad thing that'll happen this month is Mercury squaring Mars before it goes direct into Gemini. So towards the end of the month you're gonna feel a little irratible, maybe have an argument here and there but... nothing tooooo bad.
So my advice for this month would be to simply love yourself and do things that make you value yourself more. Taurus is a sign of self and Venus is the planet of love, so you need to learn to love you. It'll make this month go by way easier. If you're looking for something to do I suggest talking a walk in nature, do something creative (writing, singing, dance, create something). Even if you aren't the most creative type, you're going to get a lot of inspiration this month. Also try being sensual. Give your significant other a random gift, write them a love letter, do something cheesy. This is the perfect time.
I've been so sleepy the past couple of days; I can't take naps or else I'll wake up 4-5 hours later. It's so annoying cause I can't stay awake for crap, the only thing I haven't done yet is fall asleep standing up. Oh well, it'll probably be over in a few days. I'll just eat some more spinach and take some vitamins everyday, cause iron deficiency anemia does run in my family. I'll be feeling better after that, I'm sure of it.
Ive currently got a story up on wattpad.com called "The Tale of Two Wayward Princesses" but, I've realized that I want it to be far more than a simple internet thing. I really am hoping to get it published but, I'm only half finished with it right now. So I'm gonna have to go through all 20 chapters revising and editing my work... I can already feel the annoyance and see the time rolling by
But, it's what I have to do if I want it to be worthy of actually publishing. Besides I owe it to a friend of mine who's illustrating for said novel to actually get it published so, I can possibly make some money and pay her back. (She doesn't want money, she really is doing this because she loves the story and is just that great of a friend but, she's done so much illustration I feel it's only right)
So if you guys wanna know more about it, you can ask me as much as you want. Or I'll make another blog post on the plot or the characters or anything else. OuO (I'll probably blog about it again anyway, since I spent a lot of time working on it) or I can just give you guys a link... if you're actually interested...
I was meditating last night, trying to make it a little easier to switch phantom limbs. I wanted something that was relatively easy for me to see, so I settled on changing wing types. It was such a cool experience, going through different kinds of wings. The easiest and most comfortable for me would have to be smaller, more see through and more colorful wings. I tend to like things that have a more whimsical feel to them ^.^ I'm gonna try it again, meditating on wings and see if I get a better connection with them, cause for the most part they don't feel like a part of me...