Separate names with a comma.
Its taken me a long time and with intense thinking i have come up with a theory.
I am here for punishment but also i was taken petty on. Why ells would i be the one thing I despise the most?, i made hundreds of humans suffer to quench my pain so they knew how i felt, so they lost something dear to them. But i was given a second chance to live a life and to redeem my selth but i am not sorry for what i have done and i never will.i will never be like one of them because i don't take things with out reason, no matter how much I look like one of them my heart, mind and soul will be of a wyvern and will always belong to isabell.
Had a Dream last night.
It started of with me in a Chinese restaurant eating children soup and then everything was a blurry but then i was in like an apartment and i was putting metal on a door and i needed a hinge so we went to this Alien space ship witch inside looked liked my old work. I had a Dream before were we discovered the ship and found a dead alien, it was green and had blue blood and i remembered it had like molde growing on it. I walled around and i got to the back of the shop and then i seen it. It was still alive, all disfigured. It started coming towards me and i grabbed my knife and slashed at it, nit having mutch effect. It backed me into a corner and then....i shifted into a wyvern. I burnt through the roof, i squished the alien and burned to who place. The last thing i remembered was flying of somewhere.
Evey day every minute of my life is a lie, im fed up of lying, hiding the truth, hiding who/ what i am.i didn't ask to comeback, i didnt choose this life, but why am i the only one who gets it?! I don't want to wake up ever morning thinking there's something miss, a part of me missing. I dont want to denie having kids and a female, but they will never understand, to know what its like to loose everything, everything i only care about most and ever will.
I dont want to where a mask every day, hiding.
I just want to be accepted as me not what they want me to be. I want them to accept me and dont question it as if im crazy or delusional.
But hay im just a stupid wyvy what do i know?!
Im just fed up of hiding all the time, acting like them, trying to be something im not but its not that simple. I wish people could just understand and just get off my back, but ill just be wasting my breath and they wonder why i snap at them, hehe.
Its like im considering telling my mum im kin, i can guess how she will react but its just a guess and i dont live with her. Im not bothering with my dad and his partner because it will cause me more torment from them and i carnt take it any more im sick of it. There taking the mick the just work agents me and slage me off and it doesn't help. Its not like there are any kin relatively near me who i can chill with, who can help me out.
First of i am keeping a record of shifts and memory's to sort of track my progress. and shifts!!
Yhere earlier i had some strong shifts, i got a rough idea of what my legs feel like for the first time , it was only vague and a rough out line of what they felt like but its a first for me. I got a full crown ( horns) which I usually feel half of. Usually its the right side only, 2 out of 3 i can feel And i have a better understanding of the spikes /spines on my back.
Im not one to back down or throw in the towel but everything recently has gotten to me and im fed up. Ive put so much effort in to this life to make something but it's always been thrown back in to my face. I hate my work,my parents want to charge me rent rendering aned future investments, i get grief every where i go, been neglected and abused, i keep failing my driving, i beat my selth when i am down, im expected to be more.
I just want to cry my life away and spend it with the rest of the dirt of this world, on benefits, drinking and crying.
I miss isabell
I want to be free
Bound by no one, no morgue, debt or humanity
But why do i bother, the pain is to much and im gona break into a million pieces.
I miss you isabell, im sorry i carnt be with you.
Where to start?... After intensive thinking, taking to others i have come to rhe conclusion that i am more dragon than orca. Last night i wast talking to a few people on kinmunity and the said to me what i had told them(feelings, memorys... exsetra) that i had been suppression my true self and that i am a dragon and going of how i feel inside i know more about my selth as a dragon than a orca so i have decided to change.