Separate names with a comma.
Everything was going pretty fine, and then all of a sudden I had to make a stupid mistake. Now court is crawling up my ass for questions and what they want to do with me. I'm not a toy, they can't just bend and break me however they please, but they do. It's not liek I can tell them, "hey, I'm millions of years older than you, I'm not a child."
Now, because of my mistake, they're thinking of arresting me, arresting my boyfriend, or sending me back to my three abusers. If any of that happens, I'm ****ed. Not to mention they want Malak and I to not be close to each other, or talk to each other, because we are "dangerous" for each other. He's saved my life countless times, from my abusers, from myself, doesn't matter.
This is so ****ty. Last night, I cried for an hour, and because I didn't want to relapse and start selfharming and selfdoubting like I was not so long ago, I had to grab my mom (a witch) to save my sorry ass. I cried in her arms for about two more hours.
Although this was an awful situation, I took a big step last night, and threw away everything that I used for selfharm.
I generally have memories while dreaming, but lately they've been coming in waves in the form of a flashback during the day. Sometimes they're traumatic from this life, sometimes from the last, and most of the time from when I was in Hell with my father. They're awful, and take a while to recover from. They're heavy, and fast paced, and hard to keep up with. I guarantee I'm not the only one that this happens to, so, maybe some advice so keep me from pausing in the middle of a conversation/working, and flinging my head back suddenly. Thanks?
I didn't really know what to write for my first blog, but I'm just going to talk about what happens throughout my day, mental illness wise. Maybe this will help others, and maybe you can help me. I know I can't be the only one.
Because of my two illnesses, I unlike most Schizophrenics, which usually live in two realities, I live in four, so many things are going on in my head at all times. I've gone to many doctors/psychiatrists/therapists/etc about the matter and they really can't figure out anything about this one illness except that it is permanent and worse than Schizophrenia. The other illness is another permanent illness that makes me feel things differently than most people. It also doesn't help that I can't say, "hey, I'm a demon, could this mean anything different for me?" or, "hey, there's two souls inside this dumb body, would that change it?"
Maybe I should just summon my old buddy Gusion and be like, "hit me up bro? Wtf is this".
Does anyone have any ideas what this could be, of if it might be otherkin related?