How else can I start this? Am I Evil?
In reflection from certain topics I have noticed a rather scary trend emerging from my words and thoughts. I do not feel balanced, less and less I feel a shifting, not in the therian sense but more in a moral sense and what I sense is good more and more see it as evil. I have tried so hard to keep myself balanced in every aspect but as more and more people insist that I am human the less and less I want to believe it and the skew feels like it is tearing me up. How can one accept something they feel is wrong.
This body, its muscles, bones, skin even the senses feel all wrong and yet I am still human? So what? I have to accept it? Like accepting an itch for the rest of my life?
As such the same question remains, am I evil? Does my hatred the race in general mean I should not exist as well or does my identity mean I am therefore immune? I once wanted the entire race to be wiped out and I was called evil, I then suggested culling, again I was called evil. Even when I went as far s to suggest sterilization I was called a monster and beast so I have to ask myself am I evil because of them and if so what do I do about it?
I am starting to think I am just a reaction to the lack of critical thinking in the world where humanity (despite all of its failings) gets a free pass with the excuses like 'who are you to judge' or 'humanity has done some good as well' .
In the film 'When the Earth stood still' starring Keanu Reeves I understood everything up until the ending as to why Klaatu was sent to purge the planet of human life and even up to the point with John Cleese's character when they explained how change takes place and yet for all the bluster and talk about such things they fail to reflect and look upon this reality and still do something about it.
It is like a sheep saying 'I can see' right up to the point they walk over the edge of a cliff to their death. the problem here is that humanity's downfall has two possibilities, alone or taking the planet with it. Personally a limited population is fine and helps the planet. I never wanted genocide but since no option is accepted as reasonable I think yes I AM evil and I don't care about it anymore. I'd rather be lucifer (in the eyes of others) and do the right thing than be seen as an angel and let this world burn
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