And if you go chasing pookas | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

And if you go chasing pookas

Published by Gryff in the blog Gryff's blog. Views: 57

Cast your mind all the way back to the distant past of last month. I had discovered a game called Odin Sphere, which looked like it was right up my alley, but also scared me because it involves forced transformation (FT). I had originally planned to play it during my trip to Europe, but decided that I was better off waiting until after the trip. But I still rented the game, and I bought its cheaper brother, a similar game called Muramasa Rebirth (or Muramasa: The Demon Blade originally). I played Muramasa during the trip, but it didn’t really grab me. Meanwhile, I didn’t start Odin Sphere, though I still had it rented. During the trip I ended up getting caught up in another portable game, called 9 Persons 9 Hours 9 Doors (or 999 as I call it).


Fast forward to this week. Things are going pretty poorly for me. My computer is totally broken, and it looks like the problem is in the motherboard. My job is terrible; the workload is completely unmanageable, things keep getting messed up, and I’m not getting paid nearly enough. Meanwhile, I’m trying to work on finding a new job, with my parents pushing me in a certain direction on that topic. But finding a job is hard without a working computer these days. And I’m not sure I can afford to replace my motherboard, let alone my whole computer; I’m nearly broke after the trip, and it’s not going to get any better until I find a new job. And I’m not even sure I’ll be able to find a motherboard that I’m 100% sure will work with everything else. And if I have to buy a new computer, it has to be one I can plug my existing video card into, because otherwise I’ll have the additional expense of needing a new video card.


Amidst all of this, I wasn’t sure it was cost effective to still have a second game rented from Gamefly, which in this case meant I wasn’t sure I should hold on to Odin Sphere if I wasn’t playing it. Since I’m about to finish 999 and I’ll need to move on soon anyway, I decided to finally give it a try this week. While it hasn’t grabbed me as much as 999, it definitely has done a better job of keeping my attention than Muramasa did. But I haven’t gotten to the part with the FT yet, and I’m worried that if I do play it, I’ll have that worry to add on top of everything else. So I was thinking I might return it. But, on the other hand, if I do, this will keep hanging over me until I eventually face it. It’s lose lose. And if I can’t avoid a problem, the best thing I can do is get it over with. The only way to do that is to play the game and deal with whatever issues I might have. It might be bad, and it might cause problems, but it’s the only way I’ll ever be able to let it go.


This might mean that I’ll be back on here talking about those problems very soon, or it might mean that I’ll realize my fear was pointless. Either way, not only will I be done with the issue, I’ll be able to say that I didn’t let my worries hold me back. Sometimes they do, and I don’t want to let them. So, come what may, I’m going to play Odin Sphere. And there’s only one reason I can think of that will stop me: if I find the game to be boring. But that’s a whole different problem.

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In case you don’t get the title, allow me to explain. Pookas are the rabbit-like creatures in Odin Sphere; that’s what one of the characters is transformed into. The original lyric is from White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane; I replaced “rabbits” with “pookas.” (Yes, I know I like explaining my references too much.)
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