Over the week, this hasn't been easy for me, even if it feels like I found somewhere I belong. For days I toyed between alienkin and starseed, and I just found I resonate so much more with starseed than I do alienkin. No, I don't have memories or a deep longing for home (aside from the recent flashes of homesickness and sadness when I look at the Orion constellation), and the term itself of alienkin just didn't feel like me at all. And apparently starseeds can have phantom shifts, or their form being over their human form, so I'm not alone or deluding myself to make sure I believe.
It made me rethink everything - from my memories to my shifts, from what I'd 'seen' to what I'd been told that matches up to what I felt. What if I confused my wanting to help people as an angel to what I was sent/left here to do? I remember reading somewhere that starseeds were described as Angels, so maybe that's where it all started.
Funnily enough it was the "Ex-Otherkin" thread that made me look further, funny how stuff like that works out sometimes. Because I remember feeling that my past life had carried over due to the helping/formal nature that I'd seen, as also the phantoms that I'd felt. I connected them wrongly, and I can admit that I messed up, but even then to me it wasn't a game, it was a genuine attempt to figure out why I felt so different.
I think that... Me writing this out makes an attempt for everything to make sense. Writing out that I do have shifts, even though I'm not otherkin.
No, I'm not otherkin, I realise that now, but I love being in this community too much to leave outright.
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