In case I have to make it perfectly clear, I don't think I'm voidkin. I don't even think I'm kin, to put it bluntly.
I don't feel like I belong here, or anywhere. I don't feel human, never felt that way, and at times I struggle with a perception of reality. More so when I've seemed to fully dissociate and struggled to remember - at times like that, it feels like I'm in a void, all black, silent, no thought, no feeling. It's only happened twice in the past year or so though. But that's all in previous blogs so... Yeah. I just feel like this mass of... Stuff, I don't know what. So for now I'm just a ball of stuff. Energy? Maybe, I like referring to it as energy.
I don't belong here, even on this site, since that time I've just felt lonelier and lonelier when I've come online, like I can't fit no matter how hard I try. I just feel like an outcast, like I'm deluding myself, like it's just cameo shifts and I'm so desperate as to why I feel nonhuman...
But if I leave here, I know I'll struggle to find somewhere else.
I do want to try and arrange an appointment for next week, because I'm not 100% sure I do have some form of dissociation disorder, so I can't tell anyone at work if something does go wrong.
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