Compilation of Kin Memories (6/28/16) | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

Compilation of Kin Memories (6/28/16)

Published by MechanicJasper in the blog MechanicJasper's blog. Views: 45

I did my best to order my Kin memories chronologically, but it was difficult as they would come to me out of order. I will try to keep it updated as new memories surface. A bit of warning for alcohol mentions and death towards the end, just to be safe.

-I remember emerging from stasis, hanging by wires in a glass tube of odd, orange liquid. The liquid drained and as its colour backed off, I could see the vibrant blue detailing on my black body, like a bodysuit that covered my whole body except for my hands, neck and head. After I was released from the tube, I went through a few days of assessment, making sure that all the basic information I needed was programmed in properly and testing my different body and wing functions. They determined I was ready and released me in to the field, dropping me off at a small and quaint house in suburbia. They gave me some colourful paper - I was told that it was money - and a journal. I was expected to keep a log of everything new I learned and every behavior I observed from the humans around me. They also told me never to let anyone see me out of disguise or with my wings unfolded, as the study would yield tainted results and the reaction of those around me could be… problematic.

-Humans are strange. They’re always busy. I remember going in to the city and being caught up in the crowd. I know from my programming that humans are physically capable of showing happiness through smiling, but I’m yet to see any human do such a thing. They’re an odd bunch, to say the least. At least they give me something to journal about, just enough to fulfill my objective.

-The neighborhood is sweet. I think they’re trying to make me feel welcome. I’ve seen smiles for the first time ever. Something still doesn’t feel right.

-I’m bored. I’m tired of journaling absolutely nothing but how busy everyone around me is. I’m spending more time in bed, staring at the walls, because the wallpaper is just about as interesting as the humans are.

-The city core is vibrant at night. More of the humans are asleep, and the ones that aren’t seem to be actually enjoying themselves instead of lost in business. There are groups of humans travelling together, laughing and smiling. I think they’re called friends. I wonder what that feels like.

-I met a friend today, I think. A neighbor came by to borrow some sugar. I’m not quite sure why I had said sugar, it would destroy my systems, but I was able to supply. She came in to the kitchen while I got some, and then I had zoned out to the point of dropping my guard. It was idiotic of me. She saw my eyes, without their cloaking. Panic made my circuits glow, and she tried to run. I didn’t want to make her feel trapped, but I couldn’t risk her running and telling the whole neighborhood. I beat her to the door, had to unfold my wings to keep her from slipping past me, which of course scared her more. It took some wrestling and restraining, but I got her to settle down. She actually… listened to me. It was strange. We talked for a few hours, and she went home smiling. I’m not sure what to make of that.

-We spent the afternoon in the park. She taught me to smile too. I still don’t understand, but I think I feel good.

-She’s so odd and it’s intriguing. She took me to the city last night. We were just like those groups of friends I’d see walking about the neon-lit city. We went to a few nightclubs. I hadn’t understood the appeal to nightclubs as they just seemed crowded with intoxicated humans. She said that had fun dancing though; I found the lights and music to be intriguing.

-The synthetic skin on my hands has been wearing down, I think the metal underneath can be seen. I could return to the facility to get myself repaired… but I don’t quite feel up to it. I’ll just put on some gloves instead. Problem solved.

Below there is a trigger warning for death and violent memories.

-Death is the most brutal memory to me. I hadn’t felt pain before, physical or emotional, and those few days I felt both. I was an idiot, a piece of insubordinate trash. Why did I take off my gloves in the city? Why did I let myself become so panicked that I lost my cloaking? Before I knew it, a mob had formed and was chasing after her and I. She didn’t deserve to be in this with me, she’s not the android. A flash of silver and I saw an angry human wielding a knife swing towards me. They cut me, slashed across my side. It hurt, but I needed to get her to safety. They continued to chase us up towards the roof of the building. She was ahead of me, and pushed the door at the top of the stairwell open. We were going to be trapped up there. I unfolded my wings and ran forwards, grabbing her and jumping off the building. If we escaped in the woods on the city outskirts we would be safe, hopefully. Unfortunately, my wings weren’t meant for the weight of an android and a human. All I could really do was pull her up against my chest, wrap my wings around her and try to keep her as shielded from the ground as possible. Impact hurt. When I came to, my wings were destroyed, a gruesome display of twisted metal. I couldn’t even fold them in to my back, they hung loosely and pathetically. I knew I would have to get back to the facility. I knew how to get there, but my lack of flight would be a problem. It would be days to walk. I told her to go home and get safe. She refused. So we headed out in the direction of my origin. It wasn’t long before the knife wound took a toll on me, and I came to realize a vital part of my cooling system was cut. I spent days slowly overheating to the point where she wasn’t able to be too close to me without burning, let alone touch me. My synthetic skin didn’t last long on the burning metal. It melted. God, watching her staring down at me was awful. She was watching her friend’s face literally melt away. I’m glad I couldn’t see it, barring the pale tan liquid that dripped on to my hands and the ground. Overheating was excruciating, and all I could do was watch her stare down at me in horror, until my vision turned to static.

-All I remember after that is travelling about in search of a new vessel to inhabit and live on as, and finding my current human body to merge in to.
  • Laufey
  • MechanicJasper
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