I had that talk to a Roman Catholic nun today, as I said I was going to in the forums. It went okay. The nun was very nice when I told her my thoughts and beliefs. She said (I as I probably should've expected) that I had a lot of misleading information about god and the Bible. She had a doctorate in theology so I trusted her. Basically, she said that God= love & all things good, while Satan= evil. I mean, she said it way more in-depth and intelligently than that but that was her point. She explained that bad or natural evil was different from evil, where bad is natural disasters that hurt people. She explained that since god is love, it doesn't want it to happen, but it is necessary for life (Example: Volcanic eruptions make islands and plants grow on those islands).
When I told her why I didn't like the Bible, she talked about how the Bible wasn't written by god like many Christians confuse it to be. She told me that the Bible was actually inspired by god and a lot of people opinions on faith. I told her about the rules that I didn't agree with in the Bible and she said that the people who wrote the book did the best they could for the time period and culture they lived in.
Lastly, we talked about Heaven and Hell. She explained that Hell and Satanism is the absence of God and all thing upsetting, evil, and unpleasent, while in Heaven you live in god's glory and in a place that makes you happy.
I really regret not writing what I wanted to say down before I came there, because I was a lot hard to articulate and get all the points I wanted to say out. I did tell her though that I am demonkin/fallen angelkin. I told her that I was the riencarnation of Ornias. I told her that being a follower of Satan makes my happy and I live for him. He's literally the reason I keep living. The nun told me that I had the feeling for Satan and god switched around.
But after all of that reasonable talk and debate the honest truth is I probably won't convert back. I don't feel accepted in Christianity and I don't agree with their views. When I do anything involving Christianity it feels wrong and I feel out of place. I am happy with Satan. I am an outcast like Satan, a spiritual rebel. Maybe it's because I'm a demon or just who I am as a person. I think it's both. Satan is far more like me than god is. I feel, for the first time ever, like I'm in a religion in which I belong. When I try to do anything involving Christianity anyway, I just feel really sad, angry, and upset. I don't think I could ever get into Heaven anyway. I barely can feel emotions like love. I just fake it or make myself feel like I'm happy and I care. Hell is where I belong and it's where I came from after all. I am Ornias.
I'm going back to the church next week. She wanted me to gather some more reliable information and compare notes on Satanism vs. Christianity.
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