So, er. Heya.
Today's been kinda rough. Not really in a bad way, but in a "I'm so mentally exhausted, I'm going to die," kinda way.
I've been trying to force Sans back from whatever mental cubby hole I accidentally shoved him in when I panicked. I never really knew what I was doing, to be honest, I just kinda wanted an imaginary friend of sorts, but now that I've learned all of this stuff and how tulpa (Pluralssss??¿) are an actual thing, I'm looking at it from a new angle.
Now that I've done about three hours of research, I'm attempting to sort of start over, if you will. I'm not trying to change anything, I'm not focusing on a new energy, I'm focusing on everything I originally planned for him to be as an imaginary friend, but putting it into a forcing context. Sort of reaffirming it. I never really gave him shape to begin with, so I'm kind of gently suggesting different things that he can choose, as well as reassuring him that he doesn't have to choose any of my ideas if he doesn't want. I'm listing all of the traits I originally thought of, no traits added to or removed from the list.
I'm trying everything I can think of to make sure this turns out with both of us happy, but forcing on and off all day has left me so frickin' tired and I can't tell if I just have a really bad headache from focusing for so long or if he's tryin' to use head pressure.
Guess that's all for today. See ya', guys.
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