I don't want to fall in to Pokekin hell
... especially not if my kintype is a Pokémon from a game not even released yet, sigh. I've been trying to shove this all off, but I'm not sure I can. See, I don't want a second kintype, I didn't want my first kintype either! Even less do I want a fictiotype.
It started when I saw Alolan Marowak, from the Sun and Moon trailers, and it started itching at me. And then I saw a theory that a Marowak wears the skulls of the most powerful Pokémon they've killed in battle, and that started letting the memories and shifts flood in.
Since then I've had trouble with walking, feeling a distinct digitigrade in my legs stronger than the one Almandine gives me when he co-fronts. I feel too large, like I should be smaller and wider instead of tall and skinny, like my soul is at times too small for my body. I feel a thick tail unbalancing me. I also feel a heavy weight on my head that sometimes digs in to my own skull, which I can only assume is the skull I would have worn as a helmet. And of course, I feel the heat of the bone-club with its ends on fire.
As for memories, they are vivid and thorough, which caused me to believe at first that they were only ideas for a Marowak OC (amusingly, I also originally passed off my android feelings as ideas for an OC as well, during my self-repression days). But they got harder to ignore, and started to feel like an emotional weight. I remember being a Cubone, and hiding while my Marowak mother was taken down by a Charizard. I remember taking her skull and wearing it like every other Cubone does, but I also felt a need for vengeance. I remember following and tracking that very Charizard, flying across seas on the backs of helpful bird Pokemon in to a different region from which I was born in: Alola. Eventually I brought down that Charizard and defeated it, finally bringing peace to what it had done to my mother and growing emotionally strong enough to evolve.
A peculiar thing is that I remember absorbing that Charizard's soul in to my own when I evolved, as a token of victory. The Alola region allowed me to do so, and when I evolved, the soul changed me from a ground type to a ghost and fire type Pokémon. What's weird about this was that I felt my ghost type along with my fire type for a while now, but I didn't actually know that Alolan Marowak is a ghost/fire type until I researched some of the new reveals just a few minutes ago. Before then, I thought Alolan Marowak was not a ghost type at all, and that was maybe just some canon deviance or just an idea of mine. This kinda made me think to cases of fictionkin predicting what happens to their kintypes before they are canonically proven to have had that happen.
Augh, even as I type all of this, I still want to go back to repressing it and saying it's just an OC idea - though to be honest I still desire to do that with my android kintype as well.
I'm really just not sure what to make of this. Denial sure is fun, eh kids?
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