This started as a response to my rant about not understanding my past life, if that even is what this is all about. I did something similar the last time I was having trouble with kin-related things. I want to write out all of the things I believe may be true about my past life and my kin type. I'm leaving out the things I more or less take as rote about my kin type (that it has the appearance and behavior of a faun but is also demonic in a way) because I've covered that to death.
Here's what I believe about my past life and my kin type; some of these are strong beliefs and others are tenuous:
Looking through these, I have to think back to my story "The Demon's Crown," which I wrote to help me explore these theories. While it is of course overtly fictional, I believe it painted a pretty good picture of what might have happened. But it doesn't represent the Changeling-related beliefs, the idea of being used and objectified; I'm writing a new story about that.
- I was a human who was transformed into a fauntaur against my will (strong)
- I was transformed because I did something bad (tenuous)
- After I was transformed, I was used and objectified by the one responsible (moderate)
- In the end, I was ultimately happy with what I had become (strong)
- I lived in the middle east, around the time period of the Arabian Nights (tenuous)
- As a fauntaur I had the power to change my form, at least to some degree, at will (tenuous)
- As a fauntaur, it being a demonic sort of creature, I had a destructive rage and sadistic desires (moderate)
- I was very greedy in my past life (unsure of how to rate this one)
- My death in that life was related to my greed (tenuous)
- I am still spiritually a fauntaur, presumably because of this hypothetical past life (strong)
- The setting and situation of my past life were similar to the setting and situation of the game Changeling (I'm still exploring this one)
What really troubles me is, I don't know how that and the other forced transformation ideas go together. Why would someone transform me into something positive and powerful in order to use me? Well, I think Changeling has the answer to this as well. In that game, when the transformed humans escape, they take on new forms based on what they had been transformed into. So someone who was transformed into a goat might end up becoming a faun.
Of course all of this is still theoretical; I have no assurance about anything related to past lives. But the more I have to work with, the easier it will be to figure things out. And the way I explore is with writing. So I have two stories in the works: one entirely based on the Changeling related theories, and one that retells the ending of "The Demon's Crown" but mixes in this stuff too. Hopefully they'll help me figure out the real story.
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