I didn’t want to hijack coffeebear's thread, but the topic of being shifted and not knowing it had me thinking. What if I shift more than I think, but don’t realize what it is? A long shot, I know, but worth exploring. And though I have posed the question before, I want to explore it more deeply. After all, if I’m correct about the (possibly “default”) appearance of my kin type, it’s not all that different from a human.
One thing that might play into this is the issues with my human body. I’m medically complicated, to say the least. It makes mental things and some physical things harder to interpret. I take a lot of medications for both endocrinology and psychiatry purposes, which can’t make these things easy. I still wonder of the bouts of my “dark side” might be shifts, but I can’t really tell. This is pretty straightforward, though. Medication affects your brain, so yeah, there are many more possible explanations for a mindset or feeling to interpret.
But what about the physical? It’s not just my brain that has issues. I was also born with issues affecting one of the areas where I’d most likely experience phantom shifts: my legs and feet. I was born with clubfeet and one leg longer than the other, among possible other things. When I was younger, I had several surgeries to deal with these problems. Given all of this, my legs often feel off or uncomfortable no matter what. So I wonder if I have had phantom shifts, but didn’t realize it. Either I thought it was just the weirdness of my legs and feet, or it was masked by the weirdness.
But wait, there’s more! Obviously, the other part of my body that would be likely to have phantom shifts would be my head. And guess what? I have medical issues there too. Specifically, I get terrible migraines. These are usually just on one side, but sometimes they feel different. This one is even less likely than the rest, but what if that too makes it harder to identify shifts?
If I’m right about these things, it would be a shame, but I guess I can’t really get upset about it. Upset about not shifting, certainly, but not about this. After all, there’s no guarantee what I’m considering has ever happened. Most likely I just don’t shift. But being aware of this, I can at least keep it in mind, and explore other possible reasons for the things that I feel. We usually say that kin should be open to non-kin-related explanations of things, but I think we should be open the other way around as well.
The post title comes from "If I Were You" by Hoobastank.
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