It's really strange for me sometimes when I see dragonkin on the forums. There's still a part of me that wants to greet them as "fellow dragons", even though I know for a fact that I'm not a dragon, and I was never truly draconic. I can't explain it. I think maybe I just miss feeling that way.
When I had three kintypes I always wished I had less, and the dragon identity was the most expendable in my eyes because it was always the one I was the least connected to... I didn't think I would miss it so badly. Not just for the community aspects, but for the feelings too. I mean, I can still summon up the same phantom shifts whenever I want to (and I still sometimes get the wing shifts randomly, like I used to) but it just doesn't feel the same. It feels like I'm pretending.
I don't know. I don't even know how to describe how it makes me feel. I guess it's kind of like when you think of a really happy memory - one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences - and feel simultaneously grateful that it happened and saddened because you know it's in the past, and you'll never get to experience it again.
You're never going to feel that way again.
There's probably a word for that. Sadly, I don't know it.
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