So we get to start new with the blog here, alright, the only thing I think I will miss is my reference entries, but I don't need them any more. The key to what we are going to put here are simply things that I feel, want to say, and believe regardless on what someone else might say; I'm really struggling with staying on Kinmunity because I feel that the community has started to stagnate and I'm feeling less a part of it. There are many here that I have respect for and would like to keep what little touch I have with them, while there are others that I have no respect for at all the community as a whole has been a positive one in my experience, and I want to remain here and a part of it to see what it might achieve in the future.
This problem came up shortly after the New Year, I lost most of my drive to get on, so I tried to take a leave so that I could deal with the stuff I needed to focus on and hopefully recharge my motivation, but after coming back its still been a fight for me. I can log on, check to see if there is anything that I need to help with, and even look to see what kind of conversations are happening; but sadly I can barely find the motivation to join in even if its something that I'd really like to add my own reply to. I think that this is partly to blame for the fact that I've been becoming more and more aware of how I alter what I want to say for what I think will get the least critical comments, I am feeling more caged by not wanting to face the more vocal nay-sayers and less able to be who I am.
This is a problem I face on other fronts outside of the internet, and my fix for that? To be who I am and say 'screw anyone who wants to look down on me for it', thus I'm going to try it hear and see how it will make me feel in the near future.  Nyht