If you mention 'aliens' to anyone, they generally get that look on their face, and you know exactly the one. In the past few weeks, I have taken to asking "What's your opinion on the Roswell Incident?" with varying responses.
I'm honestly not sure what spurred my interest and sudden realisation of what I am. I was literally lying in bed, unable to get to sleep as usual, and on a whim looked up 'alienkin.' I am somewhat already familiar with what otherkin are, so it was a natural thing to look up at two o'clock in the morning. Immediately, it was a sense of belonging, like walking into your favorite restaurant and smelling the freshly baked bread.
That was the easy part. Knowing 'what' was the first step. I knew immediately. What I didn't know was 'what kind' 'how' 'why'... basically anything specific. Honestly, if you asked me a month ago about Roswell, I would have given you a blank stare because I had no idea what it was besides where Superman was from. Perhaps it makes this revelation (It's called Awakening here, which I am starting to grow fond of) even more startling.
I started with the basics. Wikipedia and Pinterest. I actually downloaded the Wiki app for easier reading and clicking on my mobile. I started watching YouTube videos on UFOs, read some of the CIA's X-Files (seriously, they have all their de-classified documents on their website)... and then I discovered X-files. I began watching that (I'm only about ten episodes in still), and then, last night, I saw "Alien Files Unsealed"... and downloaded the Blue Planet Project PDF.
I've had some debate with my only trusted friend about the authenticity of the notebook, but I see no reason to doubt most of the information. I, of course, take everything with a grain of salt, but...
The BPP is a compiled note book by an unidentified scientist who (allegedly) investigated many of the UFO crashes and worked close enough with all the programs in order to gather the information provided. It details things like the Treaties between aliens and human governments, the types of aliens... experiments...
Like I said, I'm not sure. It's an interesting piece of research to come across, and since it was made public in 1990, a lot of UFOology seems to be based off of it. No one actually says that, though, it seems, but so many things match up, I can't imagine it not being based off of it. If it isn't... doesn't that give it more credibility?
There's still a lot of questioning, a lot of confusion, but I found out a few things about my own identity in the process. (I'm not even halfway through BPP yet, by the way)
First, my species is a modifying species, built to adapt and stay on top of whatever the current trends or weather is one whatever planet we're on. Something between organic and synthetic, I believe. It explains some of my symptoms ( shifting?) such as sensory heightening, insomnia, the clairvoyance, the lack of emotion. My own modifying is limited to a few piercings (two are medical-only and two I was given when I was a toddler) and a lot of tattoos.
Secondly, I really like music. I didn't used to, you know. I recently discovered the love again and have made some playlists on my iPod of space-related songs. It's almost therapeutic in a way. I do play my violin, and while my body doesn't always work the way its supposed to otherwise, when I play, it's like I'm not in control. I think of the music, the notes, the melody, and my fingers and hands do it. I can't fathom how, even now, but I tend not to question it.
I'm on "vacation" at the moment (It's in quotes because it's the most stressful experience I've had in a long time) but when we get back, I'm painting a large chalkboard wall in my room to do math on. I am very, very happy about that. Only a few more days.
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