Everything in my life seems to come and go in phases. Mostly interests - they cycle through and change frequently, but usually stay within the same circle of things I like. Times when I focus on neurodiversity, or witchcraft, or Kemeticism, or the Gallifreyan Tradition come and go (as well as fandoms, but that's not the focus here). They're still a part of my life even when they're not the focus, but I don't always think of them other than any rituals I might have. I'll think of Kemeticism when I offer water at night, or GT during our study group, but I often won't think of witchcraft for long periods of time.
But it comes back.
Kin stuff seems to be like that. Sometimes I'll be focused on it and thinking about it, and I'll notice things. Sometimes I'll be focused on other aspects of my life, and I won't be thinking about it, so I won't notice things. I don't know if this means nothing is happening, or if it means that I am not noticing the things that are happening.
I do know it always comes back. I've felt like this off and on for a long time, but it's always off and on. With other people it seems like it's all or nothing - not kin at all, or kin and aware of it all the time, always feeling it. I'm not like that. I feel something, but it's not constant, not always there at the front of my identity. I am human. I know that. I feel like part of me is not human, and sometimes that part of me is closer to the front than at other times. Sometimes I feel very nonhuman, and sometimes it doesn't come up.
I think it is something. I don't know if I'm otherkin, or otherhearted, or what, but I feel something. This has been coming and going off and on since I was a child, and I'm a week away from being 22 years old.
But it's not always there, so there may be periods when I don't think about it, don't post here or really participate. There may be other times when I'm not participating simply because I have nothing new to say, or because it doesn't occur to me.
But I am fairly certain it will always come back.
(Though maybe not always to the same website, because I'm afraid of making promises and therefore will promise nothing)
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