Possible First Memory? | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

Possible First Memory?

Published by Ruko in the blog Ruko's blog. Views: 62

(This is a repost since the site went down, some things may be outdated now.)

This unfortunately isn't going to be as detailed as most others I've seen around being described, maybe because I experienced it in a fully conscious state.

What lead me to this was the fact that lately, I've been getting signals further towards the reason why I picked 'godkin' as opposed to another term. I'm starting to think an accurate phrase might be 'Aliengodkin', but we'll see about that one. Essentially I've been feeling.. I suppose 'pushes' towards looking at things that correspond to experiences I went through when I was far younger. When I was younger I played a game called Black & White, which is a god game. How I came to acquire this game is still somewhat an act of fate, as if I had not found that game, I believe I likely wouldn't have awoken at all.
Anyway, essentially when I was younger I'd hover over where the worshippers were, and just watch them for ages without me doing anything else. It just felt really nice and natural. I was still aware it was a game though obviously, so I'd go back to whatever I was doing after a little while. As a whole, I loved that game, and to this day it's still my favourite. It still stirs a lot of strange emotions with me, however, this blog post is not about this.

Lately I've felt urges to actually do some research into real tribes, communities, religions etc that would have worshipped in a similar way, so that's exactly what I did. Somehow, instinctively I knew it was somewhere in Russia, though it's still a possibility to be northern Europe. Maybe some blur between them, as I searched up any information I could gather. The time period felt very early, quite likely at a period of time where no record remains of the tribe I believe I saw or interacted with.
While searching up very ancient Russian tribes I became overwhelmed with an intense feeling of knowing. An urge, a drive, a pure sensation of heat rushing over me as every fibre of my being was reacting to this. This experience isn't like anything I've felt before. It wasn't just a hunch, nor was it just a feeling of dija vu or even a calm voice saying, "Yes this is what you experienced.", No. This was like fire. Like I'd discovered the meaning of life, like I'd unlocked something amazing.

I don't have any details of a specific memory, I just know now at one point I was watching these people. Above them, somewhere in the sky watching silently the human race go about it's business. I believe it would have been incredibly early in human development, not long after humans would have evolved into the genus we are today.
They weren't worshipping me, if just to clarify. I'm still very solid about my scientific basis for my kintype, but I believe I might have witnessed humans worshipping gods, spirits etc before, understood that their concept of such was similar to myself and possibly interacted with them. Likely furthering their belief.

[​IMG]
These are marks that some Slovakian people used to protect their homes from their thunder God's wrath.
Out of all of the symbols it could have been, it was a geometric pattern.

Some possible references:
Slavic religion
Perun - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Nova Spirit and Cyan like this.
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