Self-grill #1a | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

Self-grill #1a

Published by Shezep in the blog Shezep's blog. Views: 15

What is your kintype?

I am a deity-shard of the god Horus/Heru.

What is a shard?

Originally I was told I was an incarnation of the god Horus. That didn't sit very well with me because, trust me, I know how that sounds. They have big medical words for people who go around saying things like that. So I focused on a much smaller word "an." I'm an "an" not a "the." That implies that there are, or were others. That was a relief, actually. Being a "the" sounds way over my paygrade.

I also knew that the god in question was still a god, still existing outside of me, and still doing god things. Granted, he probably isn't as busy with prayer requests as he used to be.

I came up with the shard idea to try to explain how this works. Yes, me. I don't remember hearing the word prior to my use of it. I used to love The Dark Crystal. That was also my introduction to the idea that entities can split. It's just a metaphor though. There are other metaphors I like using. One is that of a hologram. If you cut a piece off of a hologram you still have a whole image, but smaller and without as much of the detail. (Did you ever notice in the Dark Crystal movie that the shard was the same shape as the big crystal? Normally that wouldn't make sense.) Or there's horticulture, which I studied in school. You can take a cutting from a plant, get it to root, and you have a brand new plant, genetically similar to the original. And of course there are clones. I'm basically a Heru-clone, much smaller than the big guy. My soul is essentially made of the same stuff and has a history of being part of the larger entity. When people talk about the Higher Self, I just happen to know what to call him.

There is an ancient egyptian word that has been translated as "incarnation," but it doesn't have the same connotations as the english word. It more closely resembles my plant cutting metaphor above. It's more like "of the flesh" or something like a sprout that grew from the seed of a wheat plant. It does not say that one wheat plant entirely became a different wheat plant. More like, a piece of this flesh turned into that. Ancient translations are tricky though and I might have remembered that whole thing wrong. It would explain why Sekhmet used that word though, hoping I'd sort it out myself later.

There are also myths that show that an AE god, a Netjer, can create servants out of their own flesh, or that when a body part gets cut off it doesn't die and can go on and live its own life. Heru's hand was cut off after the late night "incident" with Set, and went on to be a smallish god in its own right. The fact that netjeru can split and merge also attests to their plasticity. Normal rules of biology and individuality do not apply.

Where all those metaphors fall short however, is that they imply a complete separation. That's not exactly the case. The first time I met Heru, I became Heru. I felt what he felt. I spoke his words. We still resonate with each other and communicate with each other in a way that blends the ideas of self and other. Sometimes Heru is he, and sometimes Heru is me. Sometimes I have good wifi reception, sometimes I'm off the grid. Sometimes I can't tell the difference because our energy is so similar I don't notice he's around until some stray thought crosses my mind and I realize he's been sitting there in the backseat for awhile.

Next time "Who and/or what is Heru?"
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