Self Grill #1b | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

Self Grill #1b

Published by Shezep in the blog Shezep's blog. Views: 73

Who or what is Heru?

(Usual disclaimers apply. Your mileage may vary. Not valid in all 50 states. In other words, this is just my take on the subject.)

I sort of had two awakenings. The first one got me partway there, and the second one gave it a name. My answer to this question begins with the first awakening, my first impressions before I knew anything about the subject.

It started with a name. What does the hawk call itself? Not blood talon or anything edgy like that. What do hawks love more than anything else? Flying. They live to fly, unlike some other birds that only fly to live. Or at least, that's the kind of hawk I was.

Was I a hawk? It seems likely that I may have taken a spin in a feathered suit more than once. That has been my attitude from the beginning, not that I've definitely had a past life as a hawk, but that it seems very likely that I did. It sounds like something I'd do. Maybe as a vacation.

But there was always more to it than that. I was a spirit who wore feathers. And I carried a sword. It seemed right that I should have one. That means -- hands, and a body that could carry one and a mind that knew how to use one. Well, there we go into anthro territory.

But that name, somehow I knew it wasn't my name as an individual. It was a species name. Other spirits had the same energy I had. We all shared that name. We came from the same source. I always saw them as being blue.

There was a lady in blue who also had wings, and she was my mother, but also not exactly my mother. And everyone else was like me, spirits who were also animals who were also people. Lots of different animals. Lots of different spirits. And there were storms in the open desert that brought a chaotic magic that turned people's lives around.

That got complicated quickly. I used to write stories about the place. There was a city on the edge of a desert--probably in some alternate world version of Texas, right?

Sekhmet finally decided that she had to tell me straight out because I just wasn't getting it.

They talk about Heru the king or Heru the warrior or Heru the magician. All of these are true, but that's not what he means to me. He's my brother. He is many, many brothers. If you talk to a Kemetic and mention Heru, they will often ask "which one?" They're all born from the same source, but they've had different experiences. There are hundreds of them. Some are very large, and some are fragments too small to hold a complete consciousness. People only think about the big ones. But it doesn't matter. They're all part of the family.

Sometimes he tries to do too much. He spreads himself too thin, and then has to go back and pick up the pieces. Pull yourself together! It's a never ending process, much like recovering his Eye. It was made whole once, and again, and again. He is love and struggle and pain and healing and recovery. He is a fighter. He knows it's going to hurt, but he keeps going back because he wants to make it right.

That got complicated quickly. Whatever happened to the peaceful hawk days? How did one turn into the other?
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