So, packs. | Kinmunity: Otherkin Community

So, packs.

Published by Charias in the blog Charias's blog. Views: 48

I just saw that thread in Defending your Territory and, well, I don't really have anything to contribute on the subject, but reading it did drag up some stuff I haven't really thought about in a while.

I know most 'legit' therians/otherkin don't buy into the whole pack business, and I don't when it comes to the weird ones with rankings and ridiculous wolfaboo names like, idk, "Darkmoon Night Scar Pack" or something like that. But the idea itself does really appeal to me. Almost to a painful extent sometimes.

I think I mentioned on one of my blogs at some point, briefly, that I miss having a pack. Not a human pack - I miss my wolf pack. I've never really felt the same way for a human as I did for my old packmates. There was a level of trust and understanding there that I just can't have with people. Even with my current-life family. I'm pretty sure that's because of trauma and my hypothetical attachment disorder, but the idea still stands.

When I was younger, I thought joining a pack would be the solution to that. After all, maybe I could bond right with other wolves (I didn't know about attachment disorders back then, I just thought I was weird). So I tried to join a pack, but bailed pretty quick because I didn't feel like I fit in, and my social anxiety was kicking me repeatedly. Those guys seemed more wolf-hearted, anyway. And after that, I just kind of pushed the idea away, figuring there's no way it'd ever work.

I still do wish I could have something like that, though. Don't know if it's a wolf thing. Maybe it's just loneliness, and the fact that I've never had a real family beyond my parents and siblings. Maybe it's just missing having... people... that I can entirely trust. I don't know. I just wanted to write this somewhere.
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