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Sorting (badly)

Published by Surrealist in the blog Surrealist's blog. Views: 85

So Syret has gone totally inwards. They haven't said anything in days, and I can't really... feel them? If that makes any sense. Well, I know they're still there, but they're just kinda... I don't know how to put it. Hibernating? No... On vacation? Uh... Only half there? I don't even know. I'm not totally sure they're alright. I guess they're trying to... figure some things out. They don't know what they are at all. I'm using they because they never had a gender in the first place really. I don't know if there is anything I can do other than being here for them. I just feel really bad. It makes me feel like I should have done something differently, better. Like I could have been a better person to them in general. I probably could have. I wasn't blatantly terrible or anything, it's just... I feel like this is all my fault somehow. Some way. And I want to help them so bad... But I only feel like anything I do will just make things worse. Should I just... Leave them to whatever they need to do? Or should I try to connect with them? Both of those options seem like they'll end badly. Which sucks.

I just want them to be alright. I just want something to end well for once. For once? Has everything really gone that bad? I guess I can't help thinking that way sometimes.

Hell, maybe I'm even worrying too much. I do that sometimes I guess. But this must be serious, right? Syret seems to have lost their sense of self... That must be horrible, right?

Oh god, I feel so bad. What a mess.
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