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  1. Latest Entry

    Well, life's been okay. Not great, not awful. I don't really have much to report, but I want to try to write a blog every few days or so.

    I'm thinking about telling my counselor about me being fictionkin. From what I know about her I can guess that she probably doesn't know what it is. I'll have to explain what it is, then I'll give her a little more information on my fictotypes and my beliefs about it and such. The only thing holding me back is that I'm nervous about how she'll react. If anyone has some experience with this (and if anyone actually reads this) I'd love it if you could drop a comment on your experience with telling your counselor/therapist about being otherkin.

    Moving on... Good news! I got a new wig in the mail today. Looks just like my (Sal's) hair should. Wearing it is rather comforting, plus it's really soft. More good news... The principal at my school is super lenient and she said she's cool with me wearing wigs to school "as long as they're not distracting". So of course I'm gonna go for it. I'll probably throw on an outfit in my old color scheme while I'm at it, but sadly I'll have to leave the mask behind. Can only get away with so much, right?

    Well, that's all for today. I know it wasn't anything super interesting, but that's what I've got. Thanks for reading!

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  3. Kind of copy paste from my da/tumblr journal but it included zhuards so...I'll put it here too..

    -

    With sketchtember just ending, and inktober happening now (and being kind of busy in general), I've put a few things off to the side-knowingly or unknowingly. That includes character refs/studies and FAQ's. I'll see what I can do before the new year. Speaking of which, this year's resolution was about backgrounds and characters- and I think I did a pretty decent job at that, so I'm happy...but I really want to extend that theme further into the new year.

    Still chipping away at the zhuard terrestrial (black and white technically line-artish) ref. I'm taking my time with it because I want it to be 'right' and correct in my eyes for a while. At least to the best of my skill level (with drawing/loose linearting) and knowledge of them- and I've gained a ton this year about them! It may seem boring without color but it is very important and a much needed reference, pointing out anatomy quirks and facts about the species that distinguish them from earth's creatures-and that people make or might not know. It's also more for me personally. I'm just super excited about that point alone. Pharaoh form will have a similar format but that'll be in the future of course- I need more information on them in that form.

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    Okay, so I hope you figured I wasn't really talking about the Matrix. I'm kind of disappointed too, because it would be pretty cool to be able to enter a virtual world where we could physically be our other selves. Something like Ready Player One... yeah...

    But anyways, I have the next best thing. It's not even close, but it's technically the next best thing.

    A few years ago, I was browsing a witch craft shop near my home, and on a whim I purchased a book on Native American spirit animals and how to find yours. The actual part about finding the spirit animal never helped, but the meditation technique described in the book sure did. With it, you can enter an open sandbox world, assume whatever form you wish (in this case, my kintype), and basically do whatever you want (I don't judge). It's an excellent tool for voluntary shifting and visualizing your kintype, as I've been regularly using it to do.

    Enough fluff. Let's get down to business.

    1. If you don't know the basics of meditation, you're essentially going to want to find a comfortable, quiet spot to sit or lay down. Close your eyes and focus on the feeling of your chest rising and falling as you breathe. Just focus on this feeling. If you feel your thoughts wandering, don't panic, just gently let the thoughts drift away and return to focusing on your breathing. If you're new to meditating, this may be difficult at first, but just keep practicing. Meditation is a learned skill like most things in life. Do this one time a day for about 3 minutes until you have it down and can start extending the time further.
    2. Now, assuming you've been meditating for a while, gently envision yourself in a favorite location, real or imagined. It could be the middle of space, the lawn of the White House, or in my case, a particular beach that I loved in the Honduras. For the sake of presentation, we'll use the beach. Once you're standing on the beach, don't do anything. Feel the cool breeze on your face, flowing through your hair. Wiggle your toes in the sand. Listen to the roar of the surf. Remain on the beach until it feels as real as can be. This is your "loading screen" where you'll anchor your mind to the dream space. Stay on this beach as long as you need, and remember not to rush.
    3. Turn around, wherever you are, and see a cave. It doesn't even have to be a real cave- just tack in on to whatever location you're at. This cave is your "tunnel" to the other world. Slowly walk into the cave. Feel the gravel crunch under your feet as you do, and hear your footsteps echoing off the walls. Keep walking until you come to a door. The door can be as close or as far as you wish, just remember to take it slow. If you rush, you'll disrupt the vision. I know you want to get to the fun stuff, but patience is key.
    4.  Open the door and step through into a new world that your kintype would like. This is the "other" world where your kinself exists. I always step out onto a tall mountain peak, with enough space to accommodate a dragon. It's the tallest peak around, with the rest of the world sprawling away into the horizon on all sides.  There's evergreen trees, rivers winding through valleys, and not a cloud in the sunny sky. Take a few moments to once again soak in the sensations of being in this world. The burning of the sun on your face and the wind. Do this as long as you need.
    5. Now, transform. Stay in first person. I watch the ground get farther away as my long neck rises into the air. I feel my four legs plant firmly into the ground. I look down to examine my front legs, now draconian. I turn around and see the rest of me, wings included. I flare out my wings slowly and feel the sensation. I remain still for several moments again, just feeling my other body. Then, I trudge to the edge and leap. I feel the wind as I fall, then open my wings and begin soaring. This is it, you're doing it!
    6. When you're done with your shenanigans, return to your starting point. Transform back to human. Walk back through the door and through the tunnel and back onto the beach. This is you "returning" to the real world. 
    7. Open your eyes. You're now back from your journey.

    This technique may not work for everyone, and that's perfectly okay. If you've found a better way, kudos to you! Maybe share it with me sometime? None the less, this is how I induce voluntary shifts on myself. Thanks for sticking around this long! I hope this helps you visualize your other self!

     

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    Latest Entry

    What is your kintype? (Just include the one you're focusing on.)

     Cat!

    Do you identify for spiritual or psychological reasons?

     50/50 really. I'm an enigma! Also a scientist.

    When was your awakening (if you had one)?

     Didnt have one, baby I was born this way!

    If you had one, do you believe something specific triggered your awakening?

     N/A

    If you had one, how long did your awakening last? Was it a sudden realisation, or did it take time?

     N/A

    If you had one, what did you feel during your awakening?

     N/A

    Did you experience shifts and/or feelings of being non-human prior to your awakening?

     I've always been a catastrophy.

    Did you know about otherkin/therians prior to your awakening? If yes, do you think learning about otherkin/therians played a part in triggering your awakening?

     I did not, but learning that there was a word for what I was feeling was neat!

    If you didn't know about otherkin/therians prior to your awakening, how did you come across the community?

     I've actually been giving this some thought, and I think it was CanineHybrid/Riley that introduced me to the concept! I was a freshmen in highschool, so it has been a good while ago. 

    Did you automatically know your species/race when you awakened?

     I have always been a kitty.

    If yes, did you make any attempts to verify this identification? If no, how did you discover your species/race (if you have)?

     I have done lots of introspection that have allowed me to get to know myself better.

    Have you ever misidentified your species/race? If so, what did you mistake yourself for, and why do you think this was?

     Nyope.

    Do you experience involuntary mental shifts? If so, what are they like? How often do you have them? Are they triggered by anything in particular?

     Yes I do. I just take on a slightly more uninhibeted stance. Much more willing to do impulsive things. Happens fairly frequently! It can be triggered by pretty much anything. 

    Do you experience voluntary mental shifts? If so, what are they like, and how do you control them?

    I can do that! They're usually really wonderful. I just let myself off the leash, so to speak. 

    Do you experience involuntary phantom shifts? If so, what are they like? How often do you have them? Are they triggered by anything in particular?

     Yep, always! They're constant, feels like a completely natural part of me. I use my ear positioning and my tail for expressing emotion but it hasn't seemed to work... Yet!

    Do you experience voluntary phantom shifts? If so, what are they like, and how do you control them?

    Nope. 

    Do you experience dream shifts? If so, how often? Are there any recurring themes? Are your dream shift settings/experiences the same as in normal dreams, or are there notable differences?

     I don't recall ever having dream shifts. They'd probably just feel like me, so I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

    Do you experience any other kind of shift? If so, elaborate.

     Nope!

    What experiences and feelings led you to identify as your kintype rather than with it?

     Sure, I really like cats and all, but I am literally just a cat. A cat that looks like a human. 

    To what extent do you see yourself as (non-physically) nonhuman? Do you identify as human as well as your kintype?

     I am well aware that I am human now, and I honestly wouldn't change that. I like my life. But also, I am a cat. They're so intertwined that I wouldn't be able to elaborate. 

    What led you to believe that your identity is spiritual or psychological in nature? Have you ever believed the other was true, or seriously considered that it may be?

     I'm 50/50 on this deal. I have meditated and had memories of my past life and I believe in reincarnation, but at the same time I am a scientist so I know that I could just be entirely manufacturing these memories. Who's to say without any definitive hard evidence? Certainly not me! I just live my life without thinking too hard on it. I'm a cat, and that's really all there is to it. 

    Do you have any past life memories (if your beliefs are spiritual) or artificial memories/flashbacks (if your beliefs are psychological)? If so, describe them.

     Yes! I believe that I was a feral cat. I definetly had kittens. I think I lived in the city, probably in a city park like Central Park. I can remember being in forested areas and alleyways. 

    Do you ever feel homesick for the location your kintype lives/lived in? If so, how do you deal with those feelings?

    Not really homesick, but I do love being in cities. I love going to cities.

    Are there any locations that make you feel closer to your kintype? Any locations that make you feel disconnected from it?

     Cities and forests are both home to me! I can easily feel full cat anywhere. There's nowhere that really makes me feel a disconnect.

    Do you experience species dysphoria? If so, how often? To what extent? Do you have any methods of coping with it?

     I don't, sorry! I wish I could help out.

    Do you have any behaviours or quirks that you attribute to your kintype?

     I'm very cat-like. The way I move and behave in general. 

    Do you have any nonstandard thought processes or instinctual reactions that you attribute to your kintype?

    Every small animal I want to eat. I would never. I'm a vegetarian and a vet tech, so it is my duty to do no harm. But still the instinct is always just 'I would eat that'. Also if there's a high route I gotta take it. I will go out of my way to go over instead of around. 

    Do you have any personality traits that you attribute to your kintype?

     The everything about me! I can't think of any specifics right now.

    Do you have any nonstandard beliefs, ethics or morals that you attribute to your kintype?

     I'm pretty morally-grey. I do things that benefit me. If that happens to help others, great! If not, oh well. I find that more often than not I do end up helping others, and that does make me happy. 

    Why do you believe the above behaviours/traits/etc. are related to your kintype?

     Cats don't really have morals. They are cats. There is a very thin line between real behavior and personification. Personifying our animals too much is a very, very dangerous thing. I have firsthand seen the reporcussions for people believing that their pets are like people. 
    What is a fact, sometimes feral cats form colonies that are matriarch driven. They are social in thier clowders. They will take care of eachother when resources are available.  

    Do you feel that having a nonhuman identity has been a positive, negative or neutral experience? Have you ever tried to deny your nonhuman identity?

     Neutral, really, though I sure do love being a cat! 

    Do you ever wish you could change your kintype? If so, what would you rather be?

     Nope! 

    Do you think this is enough questions for now? I sure hope so!

    Thank you for the good time!

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  4. So if anyone has been observing, though I haven't posted on this site in a good month or two, I have not been actually away. As I used to do, I've been lurking, watching, inferring, and waiting.

    And though I was tempted to simply just leave, I made a decision, and one that I gave a great deal of though at that.

    I am not going to be bullied away simply because I don't subscribe to the party line. 

    How I was treated was bullying, plain and simple, and though I am mature enough to simply just deal with it, it must be addressed.

    I will continue to be here because I have as much of a right as anyone else if this site allows impressionable kids to be here, then I, an actual Otherkin, deserve to be here as well.

    I have made my point repeatedly, and been proven time again by this website that my assertations are correct. Alas, appeals to logic are not something that many here seemingly respond to, when compared to appeals to emotion and ideals, which have no basis in discussion, are favored and treated as end-all, be-all ways of shutting down dissenting speech.

    This site has left me with a bad taste in the mouth towards other Otherkin, simply because I was told before this whole dilemma that this site wasn't like that. It was different from the other places that simply couldn't even handle someone having a different opinion than their own, and had to use emotion based arguments in order to perform an attack on character, instead of actually refuting my statements.

    In my time away I have thought about a lot, and either changed my stances on some things, or only crystallized them further.

    I will not lie, many Otherkin make me laugh as their absurdity, when they act high and mighty, then cry and whine about how mistreated they are by the average, and normal, people outside of their subculture.

    And unlike many people, I do not require anyone else's validation and confirmation about my identity. Because I am secure in it, it doesn't bother me when someone has stances or opinions that are contrary to my own, because I am a grown adult, and I don't need hand holding. 

    Hand-holding, especially on the internet, for adults only shows that you shouldn't even be on the internet, because the internet is an exchange of ideas, and opinions, and people have strong ones, ones you are not going to like, and painting them as hateful when your own evidence is both contradictory and not logical, is astoundingly immature.

    I don't think kids should be on this site at all because many kids below the age of 18 are simply so starving for attention from everyone that they will begin to force themselves to take on an identity that isn't them simply to fit in. By not only welcoming them with open arms, encouraging them that they are Otherkin, is actually really psychologically manipulative. 

    The assumption that one isn't Otherkin, and should really think about the reasons why they feel like they might be Otherkin, and to be upfront and tell them that it's not fun to have a divergent sense of self image and physical image at all should be the default because we aren't some secret group that so many people are a part of, we're a small group of neurologically different humans. It's not something that's just so deep and spiritual, that is like a new outfit to make you more interesting. It's a condition that will impact you, your self image, your mental health, and your relationships for the rest of your lives. Otherkin isn't like fashion or music, where it's a matter of taste and preference, being Otherkin is knowing that your mind isn't the right shape anymore and something went wrong and changed you somewhere back in the past. 

    And when someone says that they "don't know what I am yet" or that they "have thought I was multiple different things" is a big red flag to me, as it shows that they came in with the mindset that they are inhuman without any real provocation, then just make something up to fit in, and then change later when they want to, really bad vibes from people like that.

    By not being skeptical about someone at the age of 14 claiming they are non-human, considering it's in the age range where bio-chemistry is really fucking with their minds, is actually doing more harm than good for these kids as a whole. You're telling them that they can do whatever they want with no social repercussions. This mindset is what's created "woke" and "cancel" culture, horrifying tools of censorship, and oppression, which has lead to positively encouraging people towards joining, and lauding, actual domestic terrorism with groups like Anfita. 

    You are saying, technically, to be introspective and think about it but that we'll treat you as a full fledged member of this identity until future notice, but really saying, "You're Otherkin and you can be anything you want, even if it's not true, even if you're not Otherkin." 

    This is what leads to kids claiming to have lists of kintypes that are based on forced shifts and lies, and fictotypes because they can't differentiate between liking and identifying with a character and being and identifying as that character. Just wait a year or two when that character isn't as important to them anymore, and they now have to carry it around as a weight in order to pretend they weren't the exact thing they said they weren't. It leads to them forcing delusions upon their own minds in order to fit in among all the others who have done the same, creating a horrible negative feedback loop of lies, delusions, and immaturity.

    I know there will be claims and cries of, "Fenrir! How could you even?! Being critical and skeptical of children who don't know any better is so wrong and uncultured! You'll only cause more problems for them later!"

    Which is wrong.

    And here is why! 😄

    1) I could even quite easily! I do it quite often, really. I even every day, it's very freeing.

    2) Yes, some children are very deep and might know but that chance is so small, and very rare. Most children under the age of 18 don't even know who they are as humans yet, much less that they are some sort of inhuman entity. We should be encouraging them, and every Otherkin while I'm at this, that they are human first and foremost. Even if you believe you weren't human in a past life, you are now, and denying that would be the same as denying that past life by that very logic. That not every single on of their personality traits has to be connected to being Otherkin, or every interest tied to your alternative identity. I love cephalopods, personally, I adore them and think they are so cool, but that's my own personal interest. It has nothing to do with my Truth, and I don't need to try and force a connection because I am mature enough to know that not everything about me has to tie to a single personal trait. Your labels don't have to be so interconnected that they are functionally the same thing, you are a collection of labels. A collection of traits and tags that connect and form the information that is you. They don't all have to be super meaningful, and it's better that some aren't. I used to love seeing how fast it took me to swim out to the dock each time I went swimming at the ponds, not because it had some grand connection to my Truth, but simply because I wanted to get better each time, and for my parents to praise my skill.

    3) It's actually much better for these kids to be faced with skepticism and logic, because this will teach them to be critical themselves, and to judge information on a case-by-case basis, rather than letting emotions make their decisions for them. Many "problems" in society today aren't actually the big problems we are told they are, but the appeal to emotions blinds people from seeing beyond the smokescreen of lies and misinformation masquerading as fact. We are creating people with separatist mindsets, who think that they are so different, and that they should be treated differently than the "normal" people, when we should be creating a culture of integrationists, who seek to show normal people that we're normal as well, just with some odd traits and beliefs, but still people as well. The separatist mindset, and the activism associated with it, will only bring about what I dub the "collapsing the acceptance threshold." By demanding so much, and expecting every crazy idea to be accepted by everyone or your a bigot is only making the average person more hateful of you and everything you say, and is only going to set back the acceptance of subcultures by decades because people will decide, "Hey, you know what? I'm tired of being called a bigot by these people. They are crazy! And you know what else? Fuck them, they think they're better than all of us, well, we'll show them that they're wrong." It's only creating more division and derision towards the people who have real alternative life systems, who simply want to be accepted, because the people who are creating this culture will simply decide it wasn't fun and cool anymore to pretend to be a part of the group now, so whatever towards the people they fucked over, time for the next place to have fun.

    4) I have personally been on both ends of the dilemma, and believe me, having someone be skeptical of me, and really force me to look at my stances and my feelings, and beliefs was actually the best thing that someone could have done to me, considering the horrible state of mind I was in. I was very confused, and I latched on to whatever identity made me "special" enough to be noticed, and whatever would get me attention because I felt so empty and alone and in pain. People encouraging the kind of mindsets we as Otherkin are encouraging in teens and kids is only making it harder for them to be honest, because all they want is to be loved and accepted unconditionally, even about things that aren't actually accurate about them, and the mindless acceptance of such beliefs is only going to make this even worse, until lying about who you are to be accepted is the new norm (FYI it already is and is ruining modern society.) Being loved and accepted are noble desires, and I do believe are good things, but accepting things that are false, or are delusions are not going to help anyone in the long run, only make things much worse.

    Now, I know that many of you here will not agree with me, probably never agree with me, and guess what? That's fine by me. I have made my opinions known, and will answer actual questions about them, and defend them if I need, or change them if given real evidence of them being wrong. Appeals to emotion don't sway me anymore, because I know now that doing what's right isn't doing what your emotions tell you, it's doing what is best even if you don't like it.

    Just as one can be open minded and accepting without accepting everything under the sun.

    I find it quite liberating to be so diametrically opposite to many of the residents here. It shows, right out of the box, that I'm willing to make myself a pariah to stand by my beliefs. My beliefs, forged by deep though, philosophy, and logic, are what make me myself. I judge everything, case-by-case, and make my own decisions on them, and you can see that by the fact that I will say what I believe, even if no one else likes that opinion. That I have the willpower and backbone to belief what I believe even if those like me hate me for it. Just like how I walked away from the Democratic Party, or how I turned from feminism once I saw that it was actually not about equality, but women superiority, pushing me towards egalitarianism and being anti-feminism and pushing for the equal treatment of men in modern society, and how I refuse to participate in the LGBT culture because it's incredibly toxic and a time bomb, or how I advocate for capitalism, or stronger borders and an anti-globalist agenda, among many other things.

    Does that mean that I'm going to go to threads I know I won't agree with, then get upset about it? Hell no. I'm not immature, or stupid.  Wanting to be outraged is a huge indicator of immaturity, and one that I don't want in my life anymore. Just as asking someone a question when you know they won't give you a answer you like is immature, as is expecting them to cave in to your emotion based demands and character attacks, and force them to change to your own way of thinking is both immature, and downright offensive.

    Do I expect to change the minds of anyone here with my words?

    No. Not really. I know y'all won't like what I have to say, but, alas, I am going to say them anyway.

    I can be friendly and kind to those who don't believe as I do. That is sadly something that people today have not learned to do, or even that it exists.

    Attacking people who believe differently than you, and using emotion based attacks, and character attacks to end a discussion only makes them hate you, and hate your side even more, whereas logic and proof will help change the minds of those who oppose you much better, just like how right-wing commentators are proven to be better at de-radicalizing people than liberals who only make people they come into contact with much more radical.

     

    oh and by the way y'all I asked my trans friends about that whole thing and I was told time and again I wasn't being transphobic, so 😜

  5. It seems I never did continue to tell you about my kin studies did I. Hm. Anyways, that doesn't matter because I wanna tell ya'll something. Anyways, if you are a person that reads bios, like I love to, you might have noticed I no longer have set kin types and such listed. Instead everything is being questioned. This is something I have been thinking of doing for a while, but I finally talked it over with my friends on therian amino, you know them, and they are gonna help out with it. I kinda got caught up in real life and stopped writing down shifts and other behavior in my journal, so i'm starting that over also. 

    Most of you may be confused to why i'm starting over. Wasn't I so sure on the arctic wolf theriotype? Answer: not anymore. When I finally picked back up on my journal for now till I get a new one, I realized my movemnts were more cat like, not so big and bulky as you may see a dog move towards a door when knocked on. And shifts felt so much... smaller is a way to put it. At first I was looking into foxes, because some can move kind of like cats. But I'm not sure what, but I was watching a video of Koda and PD like a week ago, and something clicked. All the smaller and smoother movements made sense. A ferret was both small and smooth.

    I'm not saying that it's comepletely right, because I could be comepletely off. But considering I never really took notice to ferrets, but they match all behaviours, I'm gonna look into them anyways. It's kinda like when people end up having a kintype they absolutely hated. They learn to love it since they identify as it! I don't hate ferrets, but hey, they are cute!

     

    Now that i've said that, let me get back on topic. I know the wings on Wyverns match, but what if it is just really a prehistoric creature with wings? I'm not doubting it, but honestly, I don't see any behaviours or anything between me and dinos. But I don't see any with Wyverns besides the wings either. What if it's some type of hybrid that I just haven't found yet, and that's what species they are? I figured out that thunder triggers wing shifts, just like rain triggers fur shifts for me. It really isn't to bad when you get used to it. My only issue is I go back to school soon and I don't want them to cause a problem.

    I hope we just don't watch any more movies with animal death in them. The last time it happened, I was on my medicine and it made me drowsy and unfocused. I'm no longer on it though, so all my senses are much more alert than last year. Of course my best friend could help out because she knows and actually chats with us sometimes over on amino.

    Anyways, this was just a continuation to let ya'll know i'm not dead haha. Though once school starts this Monday, I might be. But still, see you all later!

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    Recent Entries

    Luna "Milos" Silvermoon

    [Host + Core] | 16 | They/Them + Other Neo/Nounself Pronouns

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    Aurora Grace "Aura" Silvermoon 

    [Little] | Age Slider 5-15 | She/Her

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    The Ace of Spades "Ace" Alabaster

    [Unknown Role] | 25 | They/Them, It/Its

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    Nova

    [Caretaker] | Unknown Age | She/Her

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    Kitty

    [Deals With Social Situations] | 14 | She/Her, Meow/Meows/Meowself, Kit/Kits/Kitself

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    Kaylie Jayce

    [Unknown Role] | 19 | She/Her

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    Quinn "Q" Murphey

    [Protector] | 18 | He/Him

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    Emiline "Emi" Rin

    [Unknown Role] | 15 | She/Her

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    Wolf

    [Protector + Nonhuman] | Age Unknown | He/Him, It/Its

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    Rosebud

    [Nonhuman + Unknown Role] | 3 | She/Her

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    Mouse

    [Slight Trauma Holder + Nonhuman] | 13 | She/Her

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    Percy Hunter

    [Main Schoolwork Manager] | 15 | He/Him

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    Benjamin "Ben" Hunter

    [Tritary Schoolwork Manager] | 15 | He/Him

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    Penelope "Penny" Hunter

    [Secondary Schoolwork Manager] | 15 | She/Her

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    Susan

    [Handles Adult Situations + Nonhuman + Trauma Holder] | Age Slider 19-25 | She/Her

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    Jaxon "Jax"

    [Insider] | 25 | He/Him

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    Queenie

    [Reformed Persecutor + Trauma Holder] | Age Slider 12-13 | She/Her

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    Cat Cat

    [Deals With Uncomfotable Situations + Nonhuman] | Age Unknown | She/Her, It/Its

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    Melissa

    [Trauma + Memory Holder] | 6 | She/Her

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    Flora

    [Unknown Role, Possibly Memory/Trauma Holder] | Age Unknown | She/her

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    Ivory

    [Protector] | 17 | She/Her, They/Them

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    Ebony

    [Protector] | 17 | She/Her, They/Them

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    Bug

    [Unknown Role] | Age Unknown | She/Her, He/Him

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    Fairest

    [Unknown Role] | Age Unknown | She/Her

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    Integrated/Dormant System Members

    Flora, Snow

  6. Latest Entry

    Otherkin Volg 3

     

    I had just realized I haven't done this in a while... But having parents that do not support me in almost anything, sucks....

    I try to be nice, I try to be a good child....  But I just suck....  if I were them, I would have sold me to a orphanage already.

    my parents found out about kinmunity....  it did not end well.  I do not like talking about it, unless its with someone privately...  But I will say, that I hate them.  They are stressful.. and a pain in the ass.  My mom took half of my room, and "cleaned" it then through away things that I did not want her too.  She didn't ask me if she could through somethings away.... but she did anyway.  She sucks the life out of me.   I help her with her anxiety, I do lots of things for her, but she still treats me like shit.

    I cannot wait to leave my house.  As soon as I am 17 I am out of there.

    Sorry... this post was more a vent then a volg entry...

     

    10:54 AM ~ 5/21/2019

    Cleo/FoxChi

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    The system is all characters i created (ocs)

    Host is me ( ref : https://community.tulpa.info/user-dragonchan8)

    Here we go

    76b4a8ad6d449d7.thumb.png.d1de4032f73ef9bc176698c00b61d199.png H the Dragon (art by someone on pixilart,not saying names for privacy reasons) 

    Species: Dragon (duhhh)

    Gender: Non bi

    Sexuality: Unknown

    Age: 14

    A friend dragon that loves male pronouns but he prefers "their" "them" "they",He is always questioning life and his identity.He is a tulpa created in 2019

    c5b1590a36ed785.thumb.png.93cb82271568605e7ce23ff2a998f181.png Clicker the amazon dragon

    Species: Amazon dragon

    Gender: Female

    Sexaulity: Bisexual

    Age: 18 (200 in dragon years)

     

    A kind heart and loving dragon,clicker helps her host when shes depressed or when she has  a anxiety attack.she is playful but can be very annoying at times.She was created in 2018

     

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    Laptop's hard-disk met its maker after a decade holding strong (Can you believe Win 7 already that old?) I have a phone in the mean time.

    Only now I realise how mandatory is a comfortable seat and screen that can hold whole discussions (there's lots here to get back to!), to reference others and compile my thoughts..

    Can probably rig up a live USB / Live CD of some GNU/Linux flavour in mean time and give the thing a few more years of life as a web browser/text processor.

    Until then[...]

    ~Corvid.

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    Since I'm starting this blog near the end of my current semester, I figured a recap post was called for. 

    This is my first semester at college. Due to some complications I'll cover in a different post, I wasn't able to start college the semester right after graduation—which is why my first semester is in the spring. I started off by taking four classes: English, engineering, trigonometry, and public speaking. I ended up dropping the trig class because the grading policies were kinda sketch, so it's down to three. I'm doing well in public speaking and engineering, but my grade in English is struggling since that and math seem to be what my learning disabilities affect the most. 

    I've had times where I flourished and times where I struggled throughout grade school, but my last two years of high school were very rough, which were what eventually lead to my diagnoses in my senior year. Having gone through almost the entirety of grade school undiagnosed really messed up my sense of self-esteem and self-worth—but again, that's a topic I'll discuss deeper another time

    I'm hoping to update this blog with my progress and important notes at least once a week, and given I'll be taking my second English class (if I pass the first) and retaking trig this summer, that shouldn't be a problem 😊

    I look forward to sharing my journey with you all, and feel free to comment with any questions below 😸

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    Hello again, fellow therians and kin!

    I have some exciting news!

    I have been working on a project of mine quite frequently.

    I am extremely excited to announce this!

    Anyway, let me get to the point!

    I have started a therian group in my province, which also has a website designed by myself!

    Here's the link if anyone wants to check it out! 

    https://ontarioteentheriansandkin.weebly.com

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    Shoutout and welcome back to K1-b0!

    He was absent for about three weeks, and I was concerned he had left the system completely, but today he reappeared. Him coming back was slow, gradual, and I doubted he would make it past his quiet co-conscious state, but to my pleasant surprise, he came closer and closer until he took front. I am so proud of K1-b0 for returning, for despite my skepticism of his mere existence while he was away and while we were co-con, he was able to regain confidence and present as himself shamelessly, and I was able to let him.

    Part of his confidence boost was thanks to our new friend, who we were concerned would not accept him, but thankfully did. While K1-b0 was co-con and I was openly inviting him to front, I warned our friend that K1-b0 was present with me, separate from me, and might front and want to be recognized. I stressed a bunch that they would not accept me or K1-b0 and recognize us as us and that it would send K1-b0 back into dormancy, but... Thankfully, the fear was unnecessary. This friend - who was already kin friendly - was kind enough recognize us as separate individuals and spoke to K1-b0 as his own individual when he did take front and announced himself to them.

    So, K1-b0 had a warm welcome to front. He was able to enjoy socializing with a new friend, and most of all he got to enjoy being himself. But aside from just being happy that he has returned, I am especially thankful for what he did in front. While in front, K1-b0 soon got up, full of motivation and energy, and took it upon himself to do chores. He started laundry, cleaned up the bedroom, and then fed the body a proper meal. Without him using his time, energy, and motivation in front to do these helpful things, I may not have done any of it. I very likely would have just had another depressed, unproductive day with more skipped meals. I was exhausted after he stepped out of front, but I was still moved enough by his efforts that I have continued his work, and I'm taking better care of myself and my surrounding, all thanks to K1-b0.

    So thank you, deeply, K1-b0, and welcome back. 

    - Pony

  7. Lately I've been doing a bit more research on cab horses from the late 1800s to the mid 1900s, and have found that most carriages, cabs, etc. were drawn by larger draft horses such as Clydesdales and Shires. I will do a bit more research and see if I find either of them fitting. I will probably do some research on other breeds of draft horses as well.

    I've started questioning Morab as opposed to just being an Arabian. I've felt that lately just labeling myself as an Arabian horse hasn't felt quite correct. I will probably do some more research on Morabs and I will probably look into other Arabian crossbreeds too.

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    I have wanted to start a blog for a few weeks now and haven't been sure where to start. Just haven't thought of a good starting place, a place that I felt comfortable sharing my 'kin self with others, until now...

    Recently, I began to develop more of an understanding for the history and culture of one of the few parts of my genetic/ethnic background I actually know anything about, that place being Scotland. By blood, I am descended from a lowlands clan of the surname Benfield. By law and by all the family I have known since infancy, I am descended from the highland Stewart clan of the surname Cruickshank. The family history has been something I have clung to since childhood.

    After I awakened, I began to get flashes of memory from my past dragonic life, flashes of a life lived in a rugged land flanked on all sides by the sea. Flashes of people speaking a tongue that reminds me of my dragonic self. Slowly the pieces came together, over the course of a year. In my dragonic life, I lived on the British Isles, both Scotland and Ireland.

    Cut to this last week. I've wanted to study Scottish history for a long time and finally said now was the time. I researched and bought three books, and two days ago cracked open the first. I found myself within the first chapter transported repeatedly back into memories that haven't seen the light of day, even in the 10 years since I've awakened. Memories filling in gaps that previously I had filled with theories and suppositions. The history unfolded on paper and in my mind, and the book placed dates that my mind could only guess at.

    The book spoke of archaeologists unearthing signs of Hunter gatherer groups of people living there since the end of the last great ice age, and this was the first shock of personal memories being dragged out of my long-asleep mind. I saw a flash of the land as it was then, viewed on the wing, swooping low over the water, viewing a world just waking up from a long slumber beneath ice. It felt fitting that this was the first memory to come, as I too feel I am waking from a deep slumber. As I read, a rapid-fire flash of memories, faces, voices, colors, trees, water, food, hunting, mountaintops, lochs, people... All a sort of jumbled mess of brief impressions flashed through my mind and left me reeling. Still I read on, desperate to see what else would surface.

    The book told of the rise of farming, the settling of humans into communities with buildings and domesticated animals. It spoke of the felling of ancient forests, gone and forgotten in the modern Scotland. It told of the rise of a primitive form of the famous Scotland Clans, as people bound themselves to one another in loyal family groups. Again I experienced this rapid-fire onslaught of memories, but this time it was more distant... I didn't feel the soul-wrenching feeling of closeness to these people. If anything I felt sad, knowing they were giving up many things for this new way of life. I believe I disapproved.

    I read on, the book unfolding the history of Rome's attempts to conquer the British Isles. How they took the lowlands, but were unable to hold the great Glen or the highland hills and mountains. How they built Hadrian's Wall to keep the "barbarian" Pictish tribes, the Painted Ones, from attacking what land they held. I again felt memories stir but these were also distant. I had kept apart from these squabbles of men.

    I have read on since then, to the time of the Anglo-Saxon conquest of the land, their eventual settling of a portion of the land after mostly being repelled by the Picts, and now have begun reading of the Viking sacks, raids and takeovers of various portions of the land. I feel yet more and more disconnected now. Memories come as if from a dream, but they do come.

     

    Previously, I believed I lived in the Isles from about the time of Christ until around the time Christianity had begun to take hold there. I believed I lived there a few centuries, and then died at sea in an attempt to save a woman washed overboard from a ship by a storm. But now, I am left to contemplate if I didn't live there much earlier, and several centuries longer.

    I want to ponder over this more, perhaps reread what I have already read as well.

     

    I am open to thoughts and impressions on what I have written, and questions for more details as well.

     

    - Drakmanka

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    Alrighty, well, it’s been a while since I made my last post and I think I’ve got plenty of things to talk about, since plenty of things happened in the recent days. It’s mostly psychology though with some things left out, because otherwise I wouldn’t get done writing this in days. Obviously this is pretty personal and as you can see, long.

    After posting the last entry, I’ve been struck with anxiety. It’s one of those occasions where you post something, and all you can do is to put that palm on your face and dramatically ask yourself what you’ve done. I don’t know, that always used to be an issue for me. Well, as of a few days ago, I'm hoping that this is no more.

    Context, insights and conclusions

    Now, I brought up anxiety, and that is where it all started. Along with it, more information and insights followed suit in relatively rapid succession. The realization that I had anxiety in the first place was pretty important because, how do you act against something you don’t even acknowledge? There also used to be a personal conundrum I and someone relevant have been wondering about. I told them that I felt like there’s some sort of wall in my chest, and whatever is behind said wall, it really wants to get out and has the potential of bringing about great change, whatever that means. I was asked to think about what that wall is, that was earlier this year and I could never put my finger on it. With realizing that I’ve got anxiety, I think I not only found out what that “wall” is, but also managed to damage it.

    It sounds strange that you wouldn’t know about these things, especially when you’re pretty introspective already. I actually don’t think it was a lack of awareness, I think it was a somehow deliberate but unconscious choice to deny it. I wouldn’t know why, perhaps it’s just the nature of such things, to make you deceive yourself and ignore the fundamental truth, like a parasite attempting to preserve its place in its host.

    Anyway, I’ve been in this messy situation for a very, very long time spanning multiple years. It all started out when I was released from a dorm, for lack of a better word, where I was sent because I had lots of bad experiences and horrible climates that I couldn’t handle, both in school and at home, which had the side-effect of me missing almost a total of two years from school. The department responsible for difficult kids like yours truly saw it necessary to send me there, neither I nor my parents had any say in that.

    The dorm was like a second home, its people like a second family when I left after four years. I had no friends back at my actual home, I was dropped into another sequence of bad experiences and my contact with my old environment cut off fairly rapidly. Back then I solely relied on this supportive environment to give me confidence and self-worth, something I didn’t have here, which meant that I allowed fears to fester and grow. Enough that it got completely out of hand.

    For the longest time, I’ve not even been a fraction of my former self. Young me was charismatic, intelligent, well spoken, easily made all sorts of friends, was highly reliable, an inspiration to some and an active influencer, someone with brimming potential to excel in more ways than just one. Compare that to my shy, perpetually intimidated, fragile, isolating, silent and aimless self that had holes in his memory left and right and took ages to finish a sentence, it becomes a difference between day and night. It weren’t the friends I’ve lost, they had moved on as everyone does and I’ve let them, it was myself that was the biggest loss.

    Fear completely consumed me just a few years after I got home, it was a lingering process and I’ve not always been this introspective, so this wasn’t something I could easily detect on my own. It got to the point where I not just censored what I said and wrote, I censored my being, or what’s left of it. I became bitter, frustrated, I got angry easily, at the later stages I’ve almost gone bonkers in certain periods.

    This censorship came with another consequence that had the ability to fester, and it was a belief. I looked at my old image album the dorm gave me before my departure, and the thought was that young me was dead, gone, and that I have to carry on as someone else. I became so convinced that people can change on such an incredibly fundamental level that, in the end, what’s left is a completely different identity with only name and appearance being a reminder of old days. Now, I could’ve just looked at my brother and reminded myself that he’s been a dork, same as ever, but it would only occur to me later when I took a step back and analyzed the big picture that was my past. Therein I saw patterns, sets of behaviors and actions that repeated themselves in both the recent and distant past, which clearly are all part of a whole identity, proving my bizarre beliefs wrong.

    While it’s great to have realized this, there are more questions to answer and more problems to solve, one of which was a deep passion that I’ve lacked for the longest time, one that would serve as a compass which I could use throughout life, perhaps to create a fulfilling one. I do have hobbies, but those are means to keep the insanity at bay, I never understood the obsession with trying to turn a hobby into a job and I’m not sure I could handle most of my hobbies if they were jobs. I looked back at my previous post and what I wrote, that I should live and not idly ponder because it only gets me this far. I still stand true to it, but I decided to expand on the living part, and instead of just living, I wanted to know how I used to live.

    That’s where another problem was solved and such a “compass” was found. Throughout life, I’ve been someone to take initiative, a doer. If I didn’t like something, I went and fixed it myself. Frankly I have the habit of being dissatisfied with a lot, and although that might sound like a negative trait, it can be harnessed. Not just that, but by looking back I’ve also seen that on a few occasions I’ve demonstrated an affinity for leadership. What’s more is that I’ve been incredibly passionate about these things whenever I had a chance to combine and exercise them, a kind of passion that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in myself. I think the reason why I never thought of it before was simply my complete lack of self-worth and confidence.

    What this revelation had was meaning, and so I move on to another potentially closed chapter. In my previous post I might have mentioned that whatever I set out to do in order to improve things for myself, like a schedule, it always came to a sudden stop. Well, when life is bereft of meaning, how could it not? I had the will to improve, but what for? That is where the dots slowly stop connecting, but I did notice one more thing which helps me with the aforementioned, and that are the steps I took in order to get where I was before everything went to hell. I think they’re replicable to some extent, and it will require a whole lot of patience and persistent work, but I think after all these years I should have patience aplenty.

    Now, lastly, I’ve been thinking about this self-finding I constantly wrote about. Based on what I wrote before, that I just thought myself dead, I don’t think finding the self was actually my intention. I think I wanted to find something that was inherently not me, something better than me, that could give me the strength to carry on. Now where I’ve had all these thoughts, I’ve not been feeling the urge to find anything at all. Doesn’t mean that I think there aren’t “other” things to find, and I have reasons to suspect that I have, but everything in due time. I think before I seriously start with that, I should take care of what’s vital: the big part of myself I've disassociated from and abandoned, which ultimately caused so much damage.

    The changes

    My emotional landscape definitely did change a lot. In a very, very weird way that I just can’t really describe, because it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. So, most of the time I experience emotional distance now, but not in the sense that I’m emotionally dead, but rather that I don’t feel the weight of them in my chest. I can still sense them in a way, but not quite “feel” them, it’s more of a faint awareness rather than an urge or compulsion. At least in the majority of cases, certain anger for example can still be felt, but even that dissipates fairly quickly. That emotional change is especially true for music. It used to have huge emotional impact on me, the main reason why I appreciated it so much, but now I don’t really feel anything anymore, only in seemingly random, weak and very short bursts. I still appreciate it loads though, but I have no idea how or why. I don’t really understand what’s happened here.

    What’s more is that every move I make is infused with a goal, meaning if you will, unlike before. I can go about my self-imposed duties without the thought of "why am I doing this?". My fluency in language has returned to me somewhat, no idea how that happened, but it's great to have regardless. I’ve gained back a degree of confidence I’ve not seen in a while and I have this really strange determination. It used to be that, if I would have to talk to important people, high standing members of a company or institution, I’d be getting plenty nervous. It’s just gone now. Mostly. Of course, anxiety is still a thing, but I think I have it on a relatively firm leash now.


    Now, I can’t tell whether these changes are permanent, although I certainly do hope so because they’re nothing but positive. “False positives” usually only last a day or two, after which the effects will disappear, and I had that a lot. In this instance though, these effects have lasted much longer now and only fluctuate seemingly randomly but never disappear.

    A glimpse at the future

    The word “future” was missing in my vocabulary for far too many years, life was nothing but a river with a fast current, and I’ve been in the middle of it all, not caring where it goes. Well I think that changed now.

    My educational status and qualifications are fairly low, making it very difficult to find “satisfying” occupation where I can actually do something more profound, but I have looked at possibilities to change that, perhaps to even get far enough to be permitted to study. I have made vague plans already that I’d like to flesh out over the coming months and execute sometime next year, working on other aspects of myself in the meantime. There are also plans to get among people again with certain meets and by finding myself some local communities.

    Not every problem is fixed, it's not just rainbow and pixie dust from now on and I can see a plenitude of hurdles to overcome before I remotely get where I'd like to stand, but over these last three years I've only made progress and if I'm correct in my faith and in my assessment, this might well be the start of a significant turning point. Of course, there's no guarantee that a 180 won't happen again, but I choose to believe that it won't come to that.

  8. Latest Entry

    Platinum

    Pronouns: he/him

    Gender: male

    Species: catnine (catlike canine hybrid)

    Status: main sona (formerly), status to-be-determined

    Dexter

    Pronouns: he/him

    gender: malw

    species: lynx

    status: background/extra

    Spook

    pronouns: he/him

    gender: male

    species: dog

    status: background/extra

    Peanut

    Pronouns: he/him

    Gender: none

    species: Dutch angel dragon

    status: main

     

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    Introduction - series

    Hello and welcome to my first blog post! I figured I'd set things off by beginning a sort of mini-series. Each blog post will be dedicated to each of the 'kins' I believe I have. I say 'believe I have' because that is the purpose of this series: to weed out the ones that are not, in fact, past lives (I'm a spiritual kin). I know a human, non-fictional past life does not count as a kin, but I might include that as well, since it's part of who I am, and in my mind, it's much of the same thing. In each post I will detail and narrate from the moment I first started wondering if I might be that character to today, including (but not limited to!) shifts (whether they be shifts or just my imagination) and all they include, memories, and knowledge. I shall also do my best to include both doubts and beliefs. These blog posts are all open for comment and such things from the community; indeed, it is the sole purpose of posting this here. I'd like feedback and your thoughts, as well as help to try and figure out why these characters call out to me, if they're not a past life (for there is a reason I'm called to them all). 

    Introduction - today's character

    Today we - that is, I - tackle my Awakening and the first character I truly felt a resonance with. It is a character I believe you should be familiar with, solely because of the widespread memes. My introduction to kin was, indeed, the Grinch. To be more specific, the 2018 animated version - I feel no connection to the other Grinches. This is one of my strongest kins, and one of the few I am quite sure is, indeed, me. The reason I have Grinch in this series is truly only to include all my kins, and to sort out what I know, what I think, and what I believe.

    It begins!

    By the time I saw the Grinch (mid-November, 2018) I was already aware of what it meant to be kin. I had recently made somewhat-close friends with a fictkin, and they’d taken the time to patiently explain to me what it meant. I believed in it – I’ve always had an open mind – accepted it, and moved on.

    Already before I saw the movie I knew I was going to enjoy it. I had never really liked the live-action version (I felt the Grinch was too… crude – in a way, almost too angry), but something about this animated version called out to me. When I saw the movie, however, there was an almost instant sense of recognition. Not only because I was familiar with the plot, thanks to the live-action movie, but also because of everything that happened and existed and surrounded the main story. It felt somewhat intimate, in a way, as though I was watching a movie about myself (without quite realizing it, personally). The breaking moment, I think, was when Grinch had the panic attack on-screen. I’ve struggled with them for some time myself, and although that is not a kin thing at all, it felt intimately familiar to me.

    When I exited the theatre I was shaken. Already there was a teeny tiny sliver of thought in me that the Grinch might be me, but I dismissed the idea as foolish. Once I got home, the first thing I did was start to rant and ramble about the movie with some friends of mine. Looking back at it now, I realize I was far more touched than I let on, and that I led that bleed into my words. I was already saying things that were far from headcanons (because I knew them, in my heart, to be true) and still things that had not been mentioned in the movie.

    If you know me even just a tiny bit, you know how much I love my angst. I love writing it, I cope by writing it, and it’s a calming and amusing (to the extent paining others can be…) passion for me. So of course, after seeing the movie (and filled with so many thoughts!) I went ahead and wrote an angsty fanfiction. I was certain the Grinch had a name other than ‘Grinch’, and settled on Felix (I have later, through meditation, figured it out to be Louis, or Lewis, or Louie, or something similar). By the time I came half-way through the fic, however, I nearly had to stop. It was getting to me in a way no angst had ever gotten to me before. This was when the suspicions started to settle for real – it felt, time and time again, like I would slip into first person while writing. I was not writing about a fictional character. I was writing about myself.

    I got flashes of almost-memories, things I was certain were true. I browsed ‘the grinch’ on the Internet, and lots of what I found felt… wrong, to me. This comes from me, who generally accepts pretty much anything in regards to fandom. With the Grinch, however, I would look at a gay pairing and go “…no? That’s not even right.” As for Donna, I didn’t ship her and the Grinch. I knew they had married. I craved salty food more than usual, and found Christmas lights and trees to be a trigger for my panic attacks. I was grumpier than usual, and my body dysphoria increased.

    The doubts plaguing me heavily went thusly:

    -        It’s the Grinch. He’s supposed to be relatable.

    -        He’s such a meme-y character? I’m just relating.

    -        Due to my own experience with panic attacks I’m projecting and seeing myself in him.

    -        I’m just looking for attention after a gap of not having it.

    Yet still, I carried the nagging sense that this is me. I am him. He is me. We are the same.

    I kinfirmed a week or so after seeing the movie. It felt right.

    I went and bought a furry shirt in an achingly familiar color. When I put it on and looked at my own arms I felt alive.

    I rediscovered many memories and knowledge later on, sometimes through meditation and sometimes through other things. The things that proved consistent were that I still felt like looking at myself through it all. Also that whenever I found headcanons or fanart or ideas on the internet, I either went “What? How would anyone think that? That’s wrong…?” or “Yes! That’s so right! That’s exactly what it’s like!”

    I have never sought out the movie as though it were a lifeline or an anchor. It has been a thing I could enjoy, and then put aside, and not really think much about – except that I remained the same through it all. I’m not in the Grinch fandom. I rarely interacted with content. I don’t really like the movie, in the way I like my favorite movies.

    I’ve had few Grinch shifts after I first Awakened, but they’ve all felt the same way. Like I’m still me – just a little different.

  9. I have known that I am not an earthly wolf for quite some time and will try to explain what makes me different below. 

    I have tried on the identity wolf in the past, and there was a  slight disconnection/foreign feeling. Pterolycus/winged wolf feels more correct, as the phantom wings are definitely integrated into this identity.  My wing shifts do not feel cameo at all and are quite frequent and strong. I also feel like I should be able to fly, or at least glide, despite never being able to,  it feels weird to lack this ability. I also have the ability to "shape-shift" not physically, but phantom, mentally, or metaphysically within meditation. There is a folktale of a winged wolf with the ability to shape-shift,  which helps me feel confident with this identity. 

    During meditation,  I am often lead to another world or dimension (not sure which)  that feels more "home" than earth does. Perhaps this is where my kin originates from? I feel more like a spiritual being,  and not in the sense of just being a spiritual person. I genuinely feel like my kintype might be native to the spiritual or astral plane (or from a place more connected to it than earth is)   I'm still questioning this, however.

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    My personal explanation for my other-ness has always been reincarnation, mixed with the multi-universe. I’m not really sure how to explain it outside of just knowing it’s right; I was a dragon in a past life and somehow I managed to (vaguely) remember it, with said dragon still being a part of me. This is probably the best explanation I can give currently, as I haven’t been questioning the why as much as I think I should. 

    My appearance Ive shared before, but I’ll state again here just so everything can be in one place. This is just a general idea of what I think, however, and it may change slightly as I learn more about myself.I was a bear-sized dragon with pale-gray scales, blue and gray feathered wings, and a blue mane. I’m fairly certain that this “mane” is made up of down feathers rather than fur, but am still figuring that one out. Large black scales dot above each leg and under each eye. I had three-toed paws with gray claws. My overall build is a more boxy, European style. 

    a drawing of my dragon self


    My home was in a boreal forest, or a taiga. For those unfamiliar with the biome type, boreal forests are mostly made of various species of evergreens, with long harsh winters and deep snow on the ground. Summers were short, but much warmer (and by warm I mean 10 C or 50 F hehe) with lots more vegetation to go around. I lived with a clan here, though I don’t remember much about my clan. Just that they were there, that we protected each other, and that elders would sometimes hibernate. Sometimes the hibernation was just to escape the cold winters, sometimes they lasted years as they just slept. I couldn't tell you how sleeping for several years helped them, but it does seem nice heh. 

    I spent many a day fishing along a river that cut through our territory, and I have very vague memories of flying to a more tundra-like place for… reasons? I can’t really remember why. 

    That’s just about all I can remember. Not much about me as a person, or my clan as of now. Hopefully someday I can remember more, however. For as long as I’ve been aware of my otherness, I feel like this is a very large amount to remember and am thankful for that. 

    Calming Snow 
    Broken and torn by
    River’s journey

     

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