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    Ok so Vegas is huge and awesome and surrounded by mountains!! Only been here a few days but I already know I'm gonna cry when I have to go back to Oklahoma :c

     

    I'll start from the beginning. So I ran away from my family's house on the 19th. Yes, ran away. Packed a bunch of shit into bags and walked a heckin mile to my friend's house (im out of shape ok) in the middle of the night and it was not fun. I left a note to my parents explaining everything like how I'd really felt about them for a long time but felt compelled to lie to them and keep things from them to stay out of trouble. Anyways I got on the plane the next day. Airports are p confusing and when I landed in Vegas I got confused again LOL had a hard time finding the baggage claim, where my bf was waiting for me.

     

    The plane ride was p awesome, a bit scary at first esp bc there was some turbulence, but it was really cool. When the plane started taking off I was like HOLY SHIT WE'RE GONNA FLY and the plane wobbled a lot, which sucked bc I was stuck in between 2 guys lmao. I ended up kinda drifting off a few times on the plane (didn't get any sleep before that) and waking up not long after, but it was still nice and I was SO excited to see Spencer (my bf).

     

    Meeting him was awesome, tho we're both awkward af irl LOL but we hugged for a long time and I just started annoying him with how cool I thought every thing was 😄 I've hardly been to any sorta big cities and definitely none THIS big. There's so many ppl and there's like highways that go all throughout vegas, it's crazy to me. But p much everywhere you look if you're up high enough, there's mountains in the distance, and I think that's what surprised me the most. Maybe I just haven't seen enough online about Vegas but I totally thought it was just like, desert and that's it lmao I knew there were mountains somewhere bc Spencer had told me but I didn't know vegas would be SURROUNDED by mountains like that, and they're all close enough that you can see them easily.

     

    Here's a couple pics of Vegas so far! I should take more pics lmao20191020_163326.thumb.jpg.61f996aa1fcdf841afb8131ecd5ddddb.jpg20191020_191205.thumb.jpg.7938600b4ed9ae53e7c0c7163174d9c6.jpg20191022_120550.thumb.jpg.1fcabc5e708dcdcb1b4f9b0f50fd432b.jpg

    Spencer is even more amazing in person ❤️ we've known each other for like 1 1/2 years now and have been dating for almost half a year. He's so super sweet and wholesome and considerate, and his family is extremely nice too. I'm so so grateful to have him, he's everything I could've asked for and more. We've only been together a few days but we've walked around parks a bit and gone to stores and made awesome food, and it's been great so far. I never wanna leave :c I love him so much.

     

    My family of course hasn't been taking this well. I was surprised that my mom's first reaction was to text me and tell me she loves me, which made me feel really guilty but I knew I shouldn't respond. If they really cared about me they would've let me do things and be a fucking adult a long time ago. I do kinda feel bad for my mom bc ik despite everything I'm sure she does rlly care about me at least to some degree, she just has an odd and harmful (to me) way of showing it. My siblings seem to either not care or are fairly supportive of me at least. I was surprised that one of my sisters was proud of me for rebelling and tried to warn me that my parents were going to have the police detain me, but I was too busy to answer the phone. Anyways they couldn't detain me LMFAO because after all, I'm a fucking adult and not doing anything illegal. Not my fault my parents still think I'm stupid and can't do anything by myself.

     

    I'm trying not to let myself feel sorry for them and guilty for running away like I did and not responding to them. I have to keep reminding myself of all the horrible things they've said and done throughout my life, from teaching me from a young age to not think for myself but not listen to anyone who doesn't agree with my parents, to the time a couple years ago they didnt let me go to an amusement park with my friends I'd known for a while because they didn't trust me to be a responsible adult and not get kidnapped or some shit. No matter what I say to them, it won't matter. They won't change their minds to let me be free and learn and grow normally. I didn't do much fucking growing living like that, lmao.

     

    Anyways, I'm extremely happy, despite a couple "friends" being mad at me for the stupidest reasons, which I'll possibly get into in another post, and a couple days ago Spencer tried to teach me how to skateboard and I fell off LOL my arm still hurts a little, but it's getting better.

     

    Here's a pic of me and my bf!! (Face reveal I guess?)

    20191021_110822.thumb.jpg.900846ed778528f2c2528a5d03faa323.jpg

     

    I'm just so happy. I'm glad I finally got away from my parents.

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    I thought I'd start a blog here.

    Last week I had a weird meditation session.  It started off really nice.  I left my mind wander and the first place I went was to my cat self.  I was in some bushes and was watching a goat outside of them between the leaves.  The goat walked off and I left the bushes and ran beside a field of wheat.  It was fall and everything was orange.

    Then some other stuff happened and towards the end of the session, I decided to go check out my angel self.  So was I looking at a representation of this and told one of my headmates that I felt like I was the angel constantly, like this was me in another universe or maybe a higher dimension or something, and that I felt a thick cord leaving the back of my neck and connecting to the angel.  I started pulling on the cord (it was made of purple light) and all of a sudden I started spinning.  Like my consciousness was tumbling through space.  All I could see was a blur of black and green clouds.  Then I stopped and the clouds parted like a stage curtain and I saw a huge moon in the desert.  There was a mesa and desert plants on the horizon, all silhouetted.  Then it was like something grabbed my by the cord again and I was yanked away from that scene and was spinning in the clouds again.  I caught some glimpses of things here and there, but I couldn't make anything out.

    Then my meditation timer went off and the session ended.

    I looked up the spinning online.  Apparently this happens a lot.  I was worried it might be something dangerous, but it seems to be one of those things that just happens sometimes.  But judging from the fact that everyone has a different explanation as to what it is or what causes it, no one knows anything about it beyond the fact that it happens. 

    In any case, it was weird.

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  2. Tis a quiet and empty house,

    so quiet you can hear the squeak of a mouse.

    In comes me, a disaster gay;

    to possibly make your day.

    The dust in the house started to dance;

    this only began with a glance.

    She finally came out to all of 'home'

    there was no need for a howl to withhold.

    'I am a wolf and I am proud,

    I will say it nice and loud.'

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