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About this blog

A blog containing my thoughts on random things.

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My Chest Feels Lighter

A huge weight was taken off my shoulders last night after I somehow obtained a solution to one of my personal problems in the middle of typing my own response to something on Reddit. There's still some weight left in my chest and it seems to be related to my writer's block and probably my issues with chronic procrastination that I need to crack down on working through as soon as possible. Saying I'm a chronic procrastinator is no longer funny or a "joke" of any kind. I've taken it too far and it's becoming a ridiculous obstacle that shouldn't exist anymore. Most people procrastinate. Very few are able to get to my level. The grand majority of the population can't afford to be like me and I can't afford to stay like this myself. The whole situation with my first entry has been cleared up. I'm not sure if I should post what happened, but it basically turns out I was most likely legitimately wrong and my undeniable feelings of certainty were just feelings from one of my soulbonds bleeding over to me for some reason. Based on everything that played out, I wish there was a way to legitimately explore the lives I experienced as my fictotypes. It's possible that I'm still a canon divergent Aoi Zaizen, though to what extent that is remains unknown. The only reason I even suspect canon divergence is I no longer trust the writers of this franchise after what happened in the Arc-V anime. My other reason for suspecting it is related to my soulbond's feelings. Unfortunately, without enough memories to support my suspicions, all I can do is make educated guesses, not obtain confirmation that gives my words weight.

Lerena

 

I Have Some Questions

I'm starting to wonder if I'm canon divergent with Aoi Zaizen too, because after the new episode of VRAINS, I'm now thinking about the possibility of being exposed to alternate versions of these canons in a past life. This possibly means I'm canon divergent for Shion Kiba as well, but not much happened with me to point to that being the case. The concept of exposure to alternate timelines of canons alone probably sounds ridiculous. It's not something I can properly confirm for sure. I am considering the possibility that I have issues and the problem is I wanted something to be true so much I've somehow convinced myself that it must be. On the other hand, it's also possible that I'll drop the gut feeling later. I can't be sure considering there are several cases of me not being over shit even after everyone else has moved on. We'll have to see. The main reason I am even bringing up the "alternate canon timelines" theory is I have a self-insert that I believe is also a past life I've experienced. Her self-insert status is because I'm basically still her in my present life, just without all the magical powers and the more obvious differences (different appearance, different parents, different legal information, etc). I don't know how much of this theory I can truly believe, but my one fictionkin memory was in the animation style of Sailor Stars and I was like 10 or 11 at the time I got the memory. Sailor Stars wasn't originally dubbed and I had never watched it or heard of it at the age of having it. There was a lot of information there that I had no way of having unless I had been exposed to it at one point - like, for example, in a past life. This memory is really the only thing that points to any amount of credibility for the theory I've formed. If I have a past life as a self-insert, my current life must have an eerie amount of similarities and I'm now wondering how far those similarities extend. Obviously, with the official canon facts differing from what I feel is true, there is something to look into there. It's not good to buy into everything I'm this certain is true, but for now, there's nothing I can do about it. I'll have to give myself some time to become distanced from the information provided by the new episode and allow some adjustment to the truth. At some point, I will be able to close the issue or confirm my canon divergence.

Lerena

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