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First meditation experience

Thanks to the discussion in the meditation thread, I've done a few meditation sessions the past days. The last one was quite awesome and relates pretty much to my kintype, so I'd like to share the experience with you. I took a lay-down posture and listened to a soundfile with wind blowing through the trees. When settled down, I started by visualizing myself lying on the grass in a forest clearing as a human. First I concentrated on breathing and didn't think about much. Soon enough, I see some forest animals. A fox and some deer walk by. A squirrel comes and tickles me. A stag comes close and licks my nose... funny. I more and more start to feel one with the animals and the nature. As an expression of that feeling, I start to glow from the inside, a blue and white light which doesn't feel hot or cold... just bright. I want to spread my wings. I stand up and transform to anthropomorphic dragon form. I stand there, arms and wings spread, glowing, embracing the forest around me. This feels like... well, love, I guess. Just pure, sheer love for the nature and the animals. I want to protect all of them. The feeling gets stronger. I transform into full dragon form. I'm now looking down to the trees, still one with the forest, still glowing bright. In the end, I see myself, holding the whole planet in my claws like a very, very dear friend, protecting it from any harm. And all of that feels.. completely accurate, logical in a sense. It is pretty much the essence of my kintype, of who I am. The Western Guardian Dragon. However, the journey is not yet over. I get smaller again. I'm a dragon sitting in front of the forest, waiting for other dragons. When they approach in the air, I join them in their flight. I love to feel the air floating under my wings so much. My friends and me fly to a gathering. It seems something is created there, but I don't know what it is. I also envision an item.. it seems to be a necklace with a golden pendant. No idea where that came from. The gathering.. was this the place where I received my task, over 40 years ago? So many questions still open, folks... way to go! As always, feel free to comment, ask and discuss!



A magical moment

This morning, I again remembered a moment in my real life which maybe was the most "magical" moment I ever experienced. I would like to share it with you, and try to describe how it felt. This happened no more than 10 years ago. I was attending an event in a, let's just say, fantasy-like setting. It was taking place in the open, at a lovely old location on a sunny day. I was standing on the grass and just discussing a few things with friends. In that moment and completely surprising to everyone, a wild bird came flying from the sky, sat on my shoulder, and stayed there for a maybe 10 seconds. I noticed that some of my friends were speechless seeing this. It seems they were literally holding their breath. For myself, I can only tell that I stayed completely calm. I moved only carefully such as to not disturb the bird. It felt completely all right. I greeted the bird, saying somehing like "hi, little fellow". I thought to myself: "Stay there as long as you like. I'm fine with that". The setting was feeling totally nice and relaxed. Not many words needed for catching the moment... but it's still something I enjoy to remember. Needless to say that it confirmed and strengthened my connection to nature and life to a great extent.  



My otherkin history: a walkthrough

OK, so I'm otherkin. How in the world could that happen? Let me try to reconstruct the facts that led to this over the years. Up to now, I was afraid others could read them and call me crazy, so there is no written coverage on this yet and I need to recall events from memory. I'm only adding facts that I definitely remember to have happened; thus, I may omit many smaller events even if they still contributed. Early signs First of all, I cannot name a specific awakening event, hence I conclude that I was born awakened. Since I was a child, I've intentionally avoided to describe myself as "human", and I always felt it inappropriate to be addressed as such by others, even though I'm aware that my physical appearance indicates nothing else. On the other side, I always felt it completely appropriate to consider myself non-human. I've experienced phantom and astral shifting events. A major unintended astral shifting event happend in the late 1990's. It lasted only about 10 seconds, but was so intense that I still remember. But it was only one piece of the puzzle. Doing research on dragons was another piece. It was one of the first things I did in the newly emerging internet, secretly. Now this alone doesn't at all indicate being a dragon, but in my particular case, I'm absolutely sure that I consequently did this because I knew about my otherkin nature, but stopped the research mainly because I was afraid that others might notice and question about it. I also tried to draw dragons, but due to my limited artistic abilities the drawings didn't turn out too well, so I kept them securely enclosed. About in the year 1994, I manufactured a tin dragon claw, intending to create a symbol of my otherkin nature. However, I kept the meaning of this a secret and wore it only while being together with people who displayed exceptional power of imagination. Unfortunately, I lost the symbol in an accident after a few days. Afterwards, I continued to feel attracted to people who would display exceptional power of imagination because I felt that they would eventually be open to the concept of being otherkin. However, I never dared to tell them. The otherkin community - first encounter I think it was about 15 years ago when I first discovered the existence of an internet otherkin community. By the definition of the term, I immediately identified myself as otherkin. I can hear myself thinking: "Ah! So this has a name.. good.. hang on.. there are others ?? Wait... they don't consider it crazy ??!!". The community members seemed to discuss phenomena that I had previously experienced myself and that felt totally familiar to me. I was not at all shocked or scared by this. I was simply amazed and curious, but also reluctant and too shy to join the discussion because I wanted to avoid disclosure of my otherkin nature even in a closed community at this time. Dream shifts and recent observations Throughout all the time, I think I've experienced kin related dreaming events. I can't remember many of them in detail since I don't have a dream diary, but I can tell for sure that such events could be intense enough to keep me confused for hours during the day, taking an immense level of self control to follow my daily habits. It must have been around 2016 when I learned about the concept of lucid dreaming. I realized that I unintentionally experienced lucid dreams multiple times in the past, not all of them kin related. Also I realized that I have the natural ability for short time control of lucid dreams. I immediately started to use this for intentional controlled dream shifting (although I didn't know that this is the proper name for that until.. yesterday, I think). I continue to do this whenever possible. Currently, it is my major technique for exploring my kin nature. I'm also trying to use this for controlled phantom shifting. The reason for this is that I'd like to explore shifting phenomena in a controlled manner, such that they don't affect my daily habits. A final note To my great surprise, writing this compilation of facts leaves me somewhat stunned. I only just understand that the realization of my otherkin nature - which must seem unreasonable to the outstander - is reasoned by a series of personal experiences and events which can be described in a completely rational way. These events have happened, and they will continue to happen no matter what. They are not made up, they can not be talked away, and similar events have happened to others. I'm happy with that, and I want to know more about it. Putting this onto a blog feels strange, yet fascinating at the same time. I don't know what the result of this coming-out will be, but I can only conclude that being otherkin is and will be an integral part of my personality. I don't want to ignore that. I want to explore. And I'm tired of hiding. At least I won't in this community.



Why I'm here

So I joined Kinmunity on Christmas 2018. Why did this happen? Well, the days before were very quiet. No work obligations, tons of free time (which unfortunately happens only rarely) and free to stay up long at night.
Besides following some usual daily habits and hobbies, I was looking up some images on Deviantart. I found a very nice dubstep/trap/eHouse stream and a great online fantasy comic. Now, this seems to have been a trigger situation. It somehow unchained my mind and put me into a kind of transcendential mood. I'm still unsure what really happened. Anyhow, this state continued to last several days, which enabled me to think a whole lot about my view on the world, especially as related to my own nature as a kin. Once again, I was trying to understand the meaning of it all. As one of the results, I found reconfirmed about my kin identity. And concluded it deserves some more exploration, and should not be ignored. This is why I finally reached out to the otherkin community for the first time ever. I found kinmunity.com by Google search, and immediately liked its openness to new members. Reading through the publicly available parts, I quickly found contributions that seemed serious and meaningful to me. I've been deeply impressed by the level of rationality, the amount of consideration that obviously went into the site guidelines, and especially the media policy. I was left with the impression that both site creators and community members are very serious about what they're doing and are putting a lot of experience into it. This gave me the confidence that it would be secure enough to give it a try and join. I'm normally very reluctant when it comes to socializing. I've been keeping my otherkin nature secret for over 20 years and didn't reveal it even to closest friends. I'll consistently continue to do so outside this community. But that means I'm also completely new to the idea to be around people who will accept it just like that. I don't know how this will turn out, but for the time being, I'm very grateful for this place. I hope I can stick around and learn. I'm trying to understand the nature of being otherkin on a rational level. I'd like to learn about otherkin phenomena experienced by others, and get to know reasonable explanation models for the existence of such phenomena. I see there's tons of things I don't know yet. As always. Regardless of how things turn out, I'd like to thank the creators of this website for this unique opportunity. At the same time, I'd like to thank everybody here for posting constructive and helpful contributions! I will do my best to do the same, as far as my time allows.



About me

Dear fellow community members, I'd like to start this blog with a little basic information about me. My primary KinType is Western Dragon. For all I can tell, I was born awaken. I've always felt a very close connection to animals and nature in general, and the wish to conserve and protect those has been one of the major driving forces throughout my life. I'm a very rational and thoughtful being, to the point that others would oftentimes ask me to think less. Others would probably also describe me as shy, but determined, very well organized and consistent. I myself continue to feel the urge to envision, learn, explore, and create things. I perceive this the second major driving force in my life. I seem to be doing this every single day. I intend to use this blog mainly for documentation purposes. Please feel free to leave comments to my statements any time! But please be a bit patient with me. As I'll state in the next post, this kind of socializing is pretty new for me, and my time is usually limited. Finally an editorial note. I'd like to point out that I'm not a native english speaker, but I will do my best to use the most accurate language possible. UPDATE: I've added some more info about my kintype here. Feel free to ask me anything!


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