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About this blog

My thoughts on my identity, Pan, figuring myself out, and whatever else may come up. My posts tend to be pretty long, but feedback is always appreciated if you have the time. For entries before 10/2018 as well as current and future entries, you can check out letitallflowout.blogspot.com.

The name of the blog comes from the song "Drowning" by NateWantsToBattle. As you'll see, I like to name things after song lyrics.

Entries in this blog


Daydream believer

(I had one lyric about pendulums, and I already used it on the forum, sadly.)   I'm not usually one who follows ideas of "divination" and "spirits" and "magick" and all that stuff. I feel like an idiot when I'm making use of my mini-shrine trying to communicate with Pan, and that's just talking. I never thought about going beyond that, really. But when I was discussing some of my theories on Discord, somebody suggested using a pendulum for communication, after warding it. I thought to



Feel the eyes of someone looking in on you

Wanting to connect more with my fauntaur side, and hoping to figure out something about the theories I discussed last time, I decided to do a bit of a nature walk last week. As it turns out, there's been this nature preserve in my neighborhood this whole time and I never knew about it. I brought my costume horns and my pipes with me, as I wanted to go for as much "immersion" as I could. This went well for a little while, until other people started walking towards the part of the park I was sitti



I will find my way, if I can be strong

It's been a while, hasn't it? Between losing my job, the lack of focus that comes from that, and burning myself out on the subject, I haven't really been focused on my kin identity lately. But I did find myself wanting to start connecting with it again. I didn't have much luck; not working leaves me without my usual routine, and it's hard for me to make things happen when I'm out of my routine. Only this morning when I started feeling a more emotional desire did I decide it was finally time to b


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