My otherkin history: a walkthrough - Collected thoughts - Kinmunity Jump to content
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My otherkin history: a walkthrough

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OK, so I'm otherkin. How in the world could that happen? Let me try to reconstruct the facts that led to this over the years. Up to now, I was afraid others could read them and call me crazy, so there is no written coverage on this yet and I need to recall events from memory. I'm only adding facts that I definitely remember to have happened; thus, I may omit many smaller events even if they still contributed.

Early signs

First of all, I cannot name a specific awakening event, hence I conclude that I was born awakened. Since I was a child, I've intentionally avoided to describe myself as "human", and I always felt it inappropriate to be addressed as such by others, even though I'm aware that my physical appearance indicates nothing else. On the other side, I always felt it completely appropriate to consider myself non-human. I've experienced phantom and astral shifting events. A major unintended astral shifting event happend in the late 1990's. It lasted only about 10 seconds, but was so intense that I still remember. But it was only one piece of the puzzle. Doing research on dragons was another piece. It was one of the first things I did in the newly emerging internet, secretly. Now this alone doesn't at all indicate being a dragon, but in my particular case, I'm absolutely sure that I consequently did this because I knew about my otherkin nature, but stopped the research mainly because I was afraid that others might notice and question about it. I also tried to draw dragons, but due to my limited artistic abilities the drawings didn't turn out too well, so I kept them securely enclosed. About in the year 1994, I manufactured a tin dragon claw, intending to create a symbol of my otherkin nature. However, I kept the meaning of this a secret and wore it only while being together with people who displayed exceptional power of imagination. Unfortunately, I lost the symbol in an accident after a few days. Afterwards, I continued to feel attracted to people who would display exceptional power of imagination because I felt that they would eventually be open to the concept of being otherkin. However, I never dared to tell them.

The otherkin community - first encounter

I think it was about 15 years ago when I first discovered the existence of an internet otherkin community. By the definition of the term, I immediately identified myself as otherkin. I can hear myself thinking: "Ah! So this has a name.. good.. hang on.. there are others ?? Wait... they don't consider it crazy ??!!". The community members seemed to discuss phenomena that I had previously experienced myself and that felt totally familiar to me. I was not at all shocked or scared by this. I was simply amazed and curious, but also reluctant and too shy to join the discussion because I wanted to avoid disclosure of my otherkin nature even in a closed community at this time.

Dream shifts and recent observations

Throughout all the time, I think I've experienced kin related dreaming events. I can't remember many of them in detail since I don't have a dream diary, but I can tell for sure that such events could be intense enough to keep me confused for hours during the day, taking an immense level of self control to follow my daily habits. It must have been around 2016 when I learned about the concept of lucid dreaming. I realized that I unintentionally experienced lucid dreams multiple times in the past, not all of them kin related. Also I realized that I have the natural ability for short time control of lucid dreams. I immediately started to use this for intentional controlled dream shifting (although I didn't know that this is the proper name for that until.. yesterday, I think). I continue to do this whenever possible. Currently, it is my major technique for exploring my kin nature. I'm also trying to use this for controlled phantom shifting. The reason for this is that I'd like to explore shifting phenomena in a controlled manner, such that they don't affect my daily habits.

A final note

To my great surprise, writing this compilation of facts leaves me somewhat stunned. I only just understand that the realization of my otherkin nature - which must seem unreasonable to the outstander - is reasoned by a series of personal experiences and events which can be described in a completely rational way. These events have happened, and they will continue to happen no matter what. They are not made up, they can not be talked away, and similar events have happened to others. I'm happy with that, and I want to know more about it. Putting this onto a blog feels strange, yet fascinating at the same time. I don't know what the result of this coming-out will be, but I can only conclude that being otherkin is and will be an integral part of my personality. I don't want to ignore that. I want to explore. And I'm tired of hiding. At least I won't in this community.

UPDATE (20.01.2019) : even before I identified as a dragon, I used to believe that I was a falcon. I'm not sure as to why exactly I gave up on this. Additional details on my kintype may be found here.

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