For a few months, I’d been getting phantom shifts that I thought were odd. At first, I didn’t even know what they were. But even when I found that out they were still perplexing. During these shifts, I felt as if I were missing limbs. Most often it was either one leg or both arms, but it was different every so often. The ones involving my arms had been going on for a lot longer (an estimated five months), but the ones involving my legs started more recently (two or three months ago). I could see that my limbs were still there, but I had no control over them. And the fact that they were still there made me feel strangely uncomfortable. These shifts weren’t particularly painful, but obviously the feeling of missing limbs isn’t all too pleasant.
The first time I tried to walk when my leg was gone in one of these shifts, it was definitely tricky. I felt like I couldn’t balance and actually fell, even though both feet should have been firmly planted on the ground. After the first few times this happened, I figured out how to push through it and move somewhat normally.
The most stressful thing was that I couldn’t figure out why I was getting these phantom shifts. There was a certain character I figured maybe I was kin with, but maybe isn’t enough to be sure of anything. Not only that, but that character had never lost any limbs so it wouldn’t explain the phantom shifts. Sure, the shifts could have been due to a different fictotype or kintype, but it turns out that wasn’t it. I just identify as a different character, plain and simple. And I’m completely sure of this one. It’s more than just the phantom shifts of course, but I’ll describe more things in detail another time.