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Constant doubt

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One thing I've noticed since being open about my fictionkin identity is the immediate 'are you sure you're not a ___?' response. I understand this completely, and whenever a creature was mentioned I would do my best to look into it. Thing is... it kept going. I would be writing essays upon essays about how I felt and why I am a banshee, but still someone would ask if I was a dragon or a bird instead. I've gone through pterosaurs, dragons, dinosaurs, sea creatures, birds, reptiles and so much more, yet apparently it's not enough. Even close friends - who have followed me through my otherkin journey - have asked if I'm sure I'm a banshee just because something similar exists on earth. It feels like everyone doesn't believe me, even when I pour my soul out in writings to show them what I feel and why I believe what I do. I've had many labels throughout the years but not a single one has fit like the ikran. I am undoubtedly an ikran on all inner levels, at least as far as I can see myself.

I know people are just trying to make sure I've put thought into my identity before I claimed something, but I would have thought that my constant blogging would have been satisfactory for them. What do people want? A full novel about how I'm not a Pteranodon, a comic book about my past incorrect feelings of being a dragon, or a six part movie series about my struggles to define whether I was a bird or not? I share whatever I can when I can yet it's still "okay but what if you're NOT fictionkin..." and it becomes a cycle. People say 'are you this instead?' and I have to link them to four month old essays in which I address that. Someone else asks a similar question and I have to show them a blog post from a year ago addressing THAT question. I just can't say I am these things they tell me I could be - I've been ashamed of being fictionkin before because of online harassment so I deliberately sought out Earthly creatures I could 'pose' as. None fit.

I have never felt so sure of myself. Instead of forcing myself to identify as a pterosaur or some type of bird, I am embracing what feels natural, right, and logical. I'm not a microraptor, I'm not a Quetzalcoatlus I'm not a dragon, I'm not a manta ray, and I'm not a macaw. I am Pterodactylus giganteus - a mountain banshee.

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I've been asked about being a wolf when referring to my Ike feelings that I couldn't place at the time, which is kind of funny in a way. Honestly the best thing to do about these doubts is to search your feelings and how you personally feel as much as you need to until you find an answer. Sometimes you won't find one until years later which is also ok because everyone goes at their own pace with this kind of thing.

When you feel more sure yourself usually a simple "sorry I don't think that's right" will get people to leave you alone. Because in the end it's only you that can be the one to tell who or what you are.

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17 hours ago, Ike said:

I've been asked about being a wolf when referring to my Ike feelings that I couldn't place at the time, which is kind of funny in a way. Honestly the best thing to do about these doubts is to search your feelings and how you personally feel as much as you need to until you find an answer. Sometimes you won't find one until years later which is also ok because everyone goes at their own pace with this kind of thing.

When you feel more sure yourself usually a simple "sorry I don't think that's right" will get people to leave you alone. Because in the end it's only you that can be the one to tell who or what you are.

Yeah, I've always just said 'ok! will check [animal] out' and then tried my best to say 'yeah that's not right for A and B reasons' but people would still be like 'are you SURE though'. Luckily I've taken a huge break from spaces where people say these things, so it hasn't come up in conversation for a good few months now. I just needed to vent it out because I never addressed it before ^^

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Yeah, I get that sometimes too because of my specificity as Lucifer. When I talk about my phantom shifts, some people have asked things like "harpies have a similar shape, have you looked into them?" or "are you sure you're not a dragon or another mythical creature like a griffin?" Fortunately, I'm in a very comfortable and relaxed place with my identity most of the time, and I have a ton of writing about myself that I have saved. My answer to that "are you SURE you're not [x]?" question tends to be an easy dismissal. I usually say something along the lines of "That would be nice and simple, but while I do love dragons, that's really as far as it goes and no deeper." Because dragons, for example, just aren't me. Have I done meticulous research on them and compared them to my experiences? Eh, no, because I feel I have no reason to. If you don't feel anything towards a certain animal and clearly don't identify as it, that should really be all someone else needs to know. Just a "meh, interesting, thought about it, not me." I haven't really gotten push-back after that. I've got plenty of other experiences and detailed things that just keep building and building throughout my life, and I find that when people ask me the most basic "are you sure" questions, it's dull. Like y'all, I've long since moved on from that stage of questioning and you're still hung up at the beginning.

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14 hours ago, Cipher said:

Yeah, I get that sometimes too because of my specificity as Lucifer. When I talk about my phantom shifts, some people have asked things like "harpies have a similar shape, have you looked into them?" or "are you sure you're not a dragon or another mythical creature like a griffin?" Fortunately, I'm in a very comfortable and relaxed place with my identity most of the time, and I have a ton of writing about myself that I have saved. My answer to that "are you SURE you're not [x]?" question tends to be an easy dismissal. I usually say something along the lines of "That would be nice and simple, but while I do love dragons, that's really as far as it goes and no deeper." Because dragons, for example, just aren't me. Have I done meticulous research on them and compared them to my experiences? Eh, no, because I feel I have no reason to. If you don't feel anything towards a certain animal and clearly don't identify as it, that should really be all someone else needs to know. Just a "meh, interesting, thought about it, not me." I haven't really gotten push-back after that. I've got plenty of other experiences and detailed things that just keep building and building throughout my life, and I find that when people ask me the most basic "are you sure" questions, it's dull. Like y'all, I've long since moved on from that stage of questioning and you're still hung up at the beginning.

I wish I could like a comment more than once, haha!

But honestly. I'm so sure of my identity and have been for a LONG time, yet somehow convos always went like this:

Me: Ah, phantom wings, what a life!

Person: Ok birds have wings are you sure you're not a bird?

Me: Yeah, just scroll through my account and see all the times I debunked that. Besides, birds don't have [insert very specific alien anatomy that is only found on banshees] which is something I consider very important.

Person, ignoring me and frantically Googling 'winged animals': ok and what about...... pterosaurs?

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Some people that come from other worlds can only find the name of their kin by meditating or finding out their past life better. Without the name coming from this world it can make knowing who you are exactly a bit of a harder search and understanding.

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