[Daily Life #4 - Sep 13st, 2018]
Content Warning: Angst
(More Old Stuff)
It was past 1:00 AM and I was watching things on the computer in the dark with Zack towering me from behind with his eyes fixated on my body. I knew he was looking at me but I didn't acknowledge him since well...There wasn't anything to say to him.
I eventually began to rub my eyes since I felt something in them. Soon, I got up and headed to the bathroom and while opening the door Zack spouted out, "Where are you going?" I told him that I needed to get something from my eye so he followed me to the bathroom. After splashing my face a bit with some tap water I pulled open the bathroom door to see Zack standing in the doorway with a concerned look on his face.
Rachel: "Why are you standing in the --"
I stopped, being reminded of the same thing my mother would say to me when I did things like what Zack was doing and how she would call me "weird"; this ultimately made me a bit uneasy.
Rachel: "Nevermind..." I told him.
Zack knew what I was thinking but kept his eyes focused on me in worry as I wiped my wet face on the towel behind the door. Zack followed me back into the room and now I'm tired....and kind of want to lay down...I'm a bit depressed as well.
Zack was talking to me a little while ago about how much he wanted us to get married right now.
On our Discord server, he even went on to say things like:
"I want us to get married now...and you to only belong to me."
"I've known you since you were a little girl."
"I may not be physically here...but I want to do everything I can to make your life better."
I think Zack has been getting worried lately about my well-being and his protective side began to show. But I think what mainly triggered him was when I was talking to a friend of mine about being too afraid about finishing college and having to get a job and interact with the outside world again; about how I fear of losing control of my emotions and body actions.
Zack, of course, kept a close eye between the conversation between my friend and I. I also think Zack got a bit upset when the only advice my friend could give was how to get a job that would limit the interactions I have with other people and nothing else.
Zack believed that no one other than himself could understand me. I tried telling him telepathically that my friend does his best to try to help me out and that he shouldn't be so mad at him. But I knew Zack was getting irritated. Not because of my friend specifically, but with everyone.
There's a lot on my mind right now, my future, Zack and so forth.. but what my mind is truly seeking is to pry into Zack's mind and read the kind of concerns and other thoughts he has about me.