Synchretized - Zep's Perch - Kinmunity Jump to content
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When I think of my center and my source, I always think of the hawk-spirit, the guard, the fighter. I think of that as being the real me. But, I have this whole other side, which is sometimes even contradictory to the first. That's the sun side, the social side, the one who is sometimes a leader. The sun side comes in two forms, the normal bright sun, and the diminished sun. My gracious social presence turns snarky and biting. (When Heru 'has no eyes' he can attack anyone friend or foe.) I call it diminished sun rather than moon because the moon has an energy all its own. The hawk, for comparison, is true neutral and reacts to other beings based entirely on environmental cues. It has no problem being solitary. 

The sun side is different enough from the hawk side that I do feel like two people squished into one. I'm one person though. Sometimes I am the hawk. Sometimes I am the sun. It's not a plural situation, at least not currently. I have gone median before. 

Where did this merger come from? It could be that Ra's overbearing leadership style needed to be tempered by the hawk's laissaez faire attitude, to give people room to breathe. It might also be that the hawk warrior needed to learn a thing or two about compassion. Unfortunately, the mix is not entirely stable. 

One could argue that you don't get anything approaching free will without a complex interplay between opposing forces. ...and the hawk wonders why we give a crud about free will. We were doing just fine without it. Not having to argue all the time is a form of freedom in itself. 

It sounds antagonistic but I used to write fiction where these two sides were two different people who loved each other and took care of each other. I don't remember the hawk ever "curing" the diminished sun. It just accepted the other with the same nonjudgmental attitude it had for everyone else (who wasn't currently a threat.) Maybe that quiet acceptance is also a form of healing. 

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