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Meditation / dream log V

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I've obviously been unable to keep the 2-week meditation log intervals, but there's still happening loads of stuff. Writing it down here helps me to sort things out. So...

10/03/19
Starting meditation in the meadow, then turning to mindscape/astral plane plasma. I feel like I can materialize into anything, and I seem to be able to find the other Guardians here. Overlapping with another spirit is comparable to mixing two different colored liquids, but not stir so much that they totally mix.. I somehow get sucked into the area representing Earth; there are so many spirits here that I can't differ them. I'm trying to influence the Earth region; I feel strange sensations I can't actually describe. My fingers are physically shivering. Was something given to me??

17/03/19
Trying to feel dragon body a bit more; it's heavily armoured. Swords can't hurt it, but would break. Astral mindscape: mixing with other Guardian spirits feels less like thinking, just being. Even the color aura seems to be some kind of manifestation. Being in the Earth area I'm only a small voice amongst many, though I still feel I should be able to do something more than physical here...

18/03/19
I wonder about the fact that only a very small fraction of spirits in the Earth region would actually realize it's astral nature.. To which degree are minds different? Also, are there minds which actually 'vanish' at some point? Evening Meditation: Trying out draconian body a bit. My fire can heat up my arm, but won't injure it. I'm sure it could burn the grass, but don't want to try that here. I love all the animals and nature around. E joins in small dragon form and we go to the astral plasma plane. Her mindscape is overwhelmingly huge, but I manage to fully overlap. Looking at the Earth PRM together, it seems there are minds constantly joining and leaving at the area's perimeter. I don't know where they go to or come from.

23/03/19
Had uncontrolled dream in which my human arm felt like transforming, getting shorter. When I looked at it in-dream, it seemed normal. Strange. Meditation: I was riding on a stag who brought me to an injured deer. The injury.. was it caused by a predator? I feel this shouldn't happen here. I heal the deer using plasma energy and send a message that animals around here are under my protection and shouldn't be harmed. Meditation II: I seem to be able to find a specific mind in the mindscape/astral plane, but can never be sure if it's really the right one...
Evening: had a not too intense lucid dream, standing up from bed in draconian form, feeling claws scratching the floor. Grabbing my tail, it feels thick and a bit cold

24/03/19
Morning: Very notable uncontrolled first-of-a-time dream experience. I see myself observed by satellites/drones that feel outerworldly. What does my subconscious try to tell? Are we under surveillance?
Meditation: who is observing? As full dragon I try to visualize the satellites/drones seen in the dream and follow the transmission signal. I end up somewhere far away from the Earth PRM area.
It looks like there are many observers here, but they seem more curious than dangerous. They feel black/dark blue/violet.
Meditation II: found another Dragon by looking around in the astral plane plasma, give her some energy.

28/03/19
Meditation: At the meadow as full dragon, I'm inviting other spirits... suddently a very strange oversized human/titan figure appears with ridiculously large upper body and small head, looking injured. No idea where that came from, but it's as large as my full dragon form. Not sure if friend or foe, so I ask "who are you?"; suddently the creature attacks, it wants to bite/eat me. Bad idea.
I evade or go bodyless and let it phase through me. I make a weak attack to warn, but it doesn't stop. The creature's attacks seem futile, though. I transform into draconian and throw the creature
around using psi force, finally capture it in an energy bubble tell "since you're attacking me, be gone", and kick the bubble a few lightyears away into the astral.
Waiting for more spirits, a wolf joins me. He's hungry, but seems to be very joyful. I give him a steak and we play a bit. I enable him to feed from the place's own energy and ask him not to hurt the animals, then he joyfully runs into the woods...

31/03/19
Mindblowing meditation session. First, I get a visualization flash of a strange guy with blue streaky hair and old-fashioned crome sunglasses. Then, I go to the meadow and I'm joined by D, who tells there's a problem. We fly over the ocean when he stops somewhere and... gets eaten by a huge marine creature who jumps from the water. I think he did that on purpose to lure me to dive into the water.. I do so and meet him again at the ocean ground. He shows me a skull, looking like a Dragon skull. He tells me he doesn't know who that is and insists that I investigate. We take the skull and some other skeleton parts to the beach. I touch the skull with my hand as draconian. I see dinosaurs... desctruction. Was the skull a dinosaur? How did it get here? The other Guardians are joining the scene at the beach. Diving into the skull's aura more, I see a firce red western dragon, setting the dinosaur world on fire using classic orange flames while we Guardians watch the scene not doing anything. It feels fearsome and sad. Was that skull this red dragon? Was this another Guardian? It's too much for me... I let the skull go. When I ask the others what I just saw, they just shake their heads. We throw the skull and the other parts back in the ocean.

1/04/19
Had two lucid dreams, starting in my old paren't house. Very vivid vision of garden. I was first-time able to fly around without having the usual anxiety or seeing plane crashes. Mainly concentrated to wing flapping and gaining height. Major achievement, I was never able to do this before!

5/04/19
Strange and intense uncontrolled dream in which I was in a hotel (or school?) with other people. We were discussing some otherkin related stuff, then sitting together for lunch at a large table when an alarm siren went off. The school/hotel staff asked everybody to go "to the room", but a girl whom I spoke to before was pushing me to the outside. She seemed to be mind-controlled from an unknown force, but I trusted her. She placed me at a spot at the coast, I saw the sea and some ships and felt something dangerous was coming from there, maybe a nuclear explosion? I wanted to stand my ground, but woke up because the situation got too eery.

6/04/19
Discovered "Kundalini"/"Chakra"/"Qi" energy IRL which manifests as an electric surge feeling propagating along my spine. I feel this all my life, but only recently discovered it's something unusual and is connected to Kundalini. Trying to actively feel it in meditation.

8/04/19
Staying at a hotel IRL, I have a dream with some "bad guys" (can't define that better). I choose to eradicate all the bad without mercy. In the end only me is left; is all the Bad gone? No.. it's just that I'm the only bad guy who's left. Maybe this is my shadow self.. where my light side tries to protect, the shadow self wants to eradicate and clean. This feels OK to me, they just need to be balanced.

13-15/04/19
Feeling quite spent by work.. just meditation for getting relaxed. Everything seems fine at the meadow. See short image flash of another sharp-headed dragon. Trying to connect my real-world Qi feeling with my astral-world spirit in order to combine the energies, but it's very difficult to focus on both at the same time.

18/04/19
Too tired to see anything much in meditation... later, I seem to see a Griffin who wants to show me something... not today, I'm too spent.

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