Hey all. It's been quite some time since I've written a blog post! I don't really even know what to blog about, and I don't really think many read these anyway. But who cares really? I'll blog anyway because I can.
Today I will talk about a few things, I guess. So, warning, pointless rambling beyond this point.
So, life has been alright lately. My anxiety has been hell as of late. I've been dealing. The panic attacks are getting less frequent, so I assume thats a step forward. But there's no saying when this will start up again, it could be any time. You know, they come on without warning. It all might have something to do with my parents as of late. They haven't been getting along, you know. Parents fight sometimes, that's normal. But I can feel and feed of emotions of those around me. I don't know if that has anything to do with being who I am, or if this is how everyone is. All the stress they give off makes me somewhat ill, all the stress affects my anxiety as well I'm sure.
I mean, when I say ill, I don't mean sick feeling like you would with the flu. It's different, but I can't quite explain it.
I wish I could see Bendy more. He's literally the best thing that ever happened. I won't ramble your ears off about him, but honest to the gods I would to anyone that would listen. All I want by the end of each day is for to be in his arms again before I drift off to sleep like the good old days. I do sometimes, in the astral. But seeing each other in the astral isn't the same, but I don't know how. I doubt it will be the same unless we're truly together where we actually belong, you know? I doubt that will be soon. One day, I'm sure. But no time soon. The affections he gives are almost like food to me. I feel less ill, more energy, and so on. I'm not using him for it don't get me wrong. I'd be with him with our without it. Nothing would change it, you know? I can't quite explain how this all feels. But maybe some of you know what its like. I'm sorry we got separated, darling.
The memories of home don't help with this, of course. He's not the only one I miss. The others, I miss them too. They were friends and family to me, of course. There are things I'd want to forget, like the whole ordeal with Joey, that bastard. Sometimes I feel anxiety about him though he's long since dead. It's probably to be expected. I mean, who gets over being experimented on and then seeing their adoptive parents die in front of them? (Rip, Allison and Tom. Yall were the best parents in the multiverse).
Phantom shifts are weird for sure, like. Even though my wings and what not clip through things, but it feels like they shouldn't be doing that?? My wings also do this thing where they just floof open when I'm excited or embarrassed or surprised. Like FLOOF. They've always done this, here and home. Its weird. Floof floof. Also, my horns always feel like they'd get in the way when I brush my hair, like again back home. Alice used to brush my hair a lot... she was like my sister in a way. I miss her too.
Gods Im hungry, pizza. I want pizza. That has nothing to do with this blog but whatever. This is a nothing blog.
And thus I will end this nothing blog. You probably didn't read the whole thing, but alright alright. See you next time folks.