today it's been exactly six months since I joined Kinmunity. Six months of self discovery, learning, sharing experiences, and mind changing. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you. Everyone reading this, thank you so much for being here! You make this community the fantastic place that is is, and I wouldn't want to miss a single one of you.
When I took the decision to join, I really didn't know what to expect. If you've read some of my other posts, you'll probably know that I've been hiding my non-human identity from family and friends, both irl and online, for more than two decades. So joining this site was quite a big step for me with a lot of questionmarks. Would the community accept me for what I am? I knew there were many dragons, so being a dragon would be accepted no problem. But what about an ancient dragon guardian who protects earth, has a quite critical view on human society, is as old as life itself, and whose existence is bound to life? A practically immortal astral-spiritual being? Would that be accepted? And if it was, would I feel comfortable within the community? Would exposing my identity feel right in the end? How would it be influenced by doing so, would I change?
When I joined, I first gave only basic information about my identity and didn't talk much about the guardian dragon stuff. But I quickly saw that everybody was very friendly, open, and welcoming, so after a few days I decided to go fully open. I felt the community deserved to know me as good as I happen to know myself at any given time. In the process, I found that I was accepted for being true and honest about what I am, for telling what I know, but also what I don't (yet) know. I even found members with very similar experiences. So, how did it feel? Being accepted, just for what I am, although having told about all this? Being able to talk about myself, to be myself, without being faced with incomprehension, without people laughing at me or calling me invalid, childish or mad? Being able to talk to others who identify as non-human, just like me? Wow.. just wow. It felt totally awesome, and it still feels that way.
Also I found many, many things I didn't understand. I was thinking:
"Whoaa, a wolf! Haaa, this is the first wolf I ever talk to, it's soo exciting! Hang on... people can have multiple kintypes?? What is a soulbond? A tulpa, never heard of that? A plural system... what kind of system are we talking about?? Oh, so there can be multiple identities sharing a physical body? No way.. hey, that's super cool! How does it work? "
It went on like this for a couple of weeks. There was no shortage of amazing findings. At the start I was overcautious and I needed a while to get on speaking terms. But then... then the time came when I spoke to the first dragon I ever met in my life. Soon enough, I spoke to many others. It's... hard to describe what that meant to me. Here' what my mind told:
"Oh-my-dear! I'm talking to... other dragons . And they're not bots, they are not role playing, they don't joke. They're serious and they are valid, just as serious and valid as I am. They are real. "
That was an incredible feeling. It was a breakthrough, and it gave me tears to be honest.
So, how did that all change my identity? I shall say it got stronger, reconfirmed, clearer. Today I know more about it than anytime before, but you know how it's like.. for each question solved, two new ones come up. Aye, let's make that four or five maybe. Alas, there's more to come! I won't stop finding out more about myself just yet; sometimes, there's more time for that, sometimes there's less. Sometimes the findings are spectacular, sometimes less. Some experiences just flood me out of nowhere, some need to be worked out. I will continue to train the skills that seem to be at the core of my existence. When I get confused, I know that there are many friends here who are glad to help. And at the same time, I'll help others to the best of my abilities! Someday, I'll eventually meet otherkin irl - and maybe someday meet a dragon, that would be absolutely awesome! Maybe someday I eventually will be more open to one or two very close friends, or at least find out if they would understand.
But for the time being, I'm just thankful for the past six months - thanks, Kinmunity!