Sir, why do you believe that you're a dragon? - Collected thoughts - Kinmunity Jump to content
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Sir, why do you believe that you're a dragon?

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Yes, let's assume that someone would ask me that question. I've thought about a way to describe what my identity means to me beyond giving an explanation for the typical shifting phenomena. I found that for me, being a dragon actually explains a lot of things. First thing I came up with was the obvious species dysphoria when looking at dragons in media, and the fact that I'm almost personally offended when I see dragons being depicted as evil monsters, or attacked by some "noble knights" who actually didn't even bother to find out why the dragon's doing what it does in the first place. But ok, that could also be explained by just liking dragons, which I certainly do.

Then, there's the fact that I always somewhat felt uncomfortable to be with people and had problems to adapt to them. Others would probably say that I'm not too bad in that, but it's just hard for me and I can't be around people for too long. I actually prefer to be alone quite a lot of time when compared to others. Now that could also be explained by social anxiety or, to put it more mildly, shyness. Which is not an unusual trait. Maybe it could also be explained with me being an empath, which is a more or less accepted concept but unfortunately lacks further scientific explanation.

Next, there is the fact that I was apparently born with certain abilities and urges... things that I was never told to do or learned how to do, and behaviours I have been showing since I was a very young child. Others would maybe call those "talents". In my case, there is the urge to protect the environment. Also, there is both the interest in as well as an extraordinary skill to understand and handle technology. Afaik, both of those were extremely strong traits for me from the age of around 4 or 5. I can remember that around that age or even earlier, my parents gave me a toy helicopter, which had electric parts in. I was fascinated and immediately started to try and understand how it worked. First I was very careful and a bit frightened about the thing, but soon enough, I'd take it apart and put it back together. I would do that with everything, also soon I became known for being able to repair things more or less instinctively. I think this is something that can't really be explained... Talents? Where do they come from? I don't even believe in them tbh, I rather believe that you can learn things. My urge to protect nature would drive me to ask other kids not to throw stuff away, collect rubbish, and become active in a local nature protection initiative. My parents thankfully always supported both my environmental and technology interest and in turn, I always tried to combine them, trying to find ways using technology to help to protect nature. Which ultimately led me to be a renewable energies scientist.

Adding to this, somewhere along the path I took as a child I realized that it felt wrong to be addressed as human. Tbh I never took any value in "being a human", I didn't want to be one and didn't want to be called such. So it seems that I searched for an answer to the question "what am I". It seems I would - for some reason - consider flying creatures, e.g. the falcon. Looking down to the landscape from high places fascinates me. Well, also not too unusual. But in my case, somewhen through some thought processes I really can't unravel any more - and maybe backed by some shifting I sadly didn't write down and mostly don't seem to remember - I came up with the explanation of "I'm a dragon whose primary taks is to protect life and nature on Earth, and came here intentionally to learn about technology because it seems threathening". I actually came to believe there were more such dragons, called them "Guardians" and started to write down a story about them somewhen at the age of 16, I think.

Now what I mean to say is that believing that I'm a dragon with that task provides a logical answer to the questions and feelings of my life. It puts everything under a common umbrella, and - as oftentimes said - everything falls into place. It gives me a reason why I'm here, what I'm doing here, why I do that and why I have the skills do it. It totally gives my life sense, so to say, and does this in a way I feel much, much more comfortable with than adopting any religion. Any other explanation to my state of being I've considered is at some point flawed and leaves some questions unanswered. If I adopted such a "non-dragon" explanation, there'd be nothing more I could do to explore the questions left open, hence they will stay unanswered. On the other hand, if I accept that I am a dragon, I can actually go on and explore myself along that path. I'm trying to do that - as far as time allows - since end of 2018 after an involuntary hell-of-a-fusion-shift, and I've found new things that just seem to fit into the draconic spirit explanation; they don't break it, but extend it and give new insights. In the end, I don't know if the term "dragon" is completely right, but it's still the best term I have, and I feel happy that I can tag myself with that.

What about you? Does your kin identity also give you this kind of answer? Feel free to leave a comment, I'll be thrilled!

 

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This was really interesting to read, and I definitely can relate to some parts of it. There were always things about me that just felt different to everyone around me, and I've always felt that if I relaxed around people and stopped hiding parts of myself, it was highly likely they would be hurt by it. There were some ways that could be explained; maybe it was internalized homophobia, maybe it was a fear of my own mental illnesses... but when I tried to treat it as such, it didn't make the feelings go away, or even get better. Eventually I gave up and just labeled myself as "weird at best," until I found out about otherkin and began to explore that. (It was still hard, especially because I was always sort of... human-adjacent. I think my feelings about my own humanity are best described as "I guess I count as human on a technicality? Let's go with that.")

The analogy of it putting everything under a "common umbrella" really resonates with me. There were a lot of feelings I had towards myself (and, sometimes, towards seemingly random things/names/places) that were just plain strange. Some of them were explained by being demonkin, when I considered myself that, but not all of them. When I started questioning being fictionkin, though, that was when things really started clicking for me, and that's why I consider myself fictionkin primarily.

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There seems to be some similarities in our past.  I also have always had an instinctual ability with technology and from a young age I haven't wanted to be part of the human race.  I have also always had a way with animals and want to help them.  I now work with horses every day.

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