I'm still not too confident to call any of my meditation visions a "memory". But the one memory that really matters is that I remember my purpose. I'm a guardian. I basically am to protect life and nature, that's the first thing I tell everybody. And I more and more come to realize that.. what I actually mean to protect is the very variety of life. I think I mentioned this before, you can see this in many statements I made. I've more than once felt that this vast variety and diversity is what I really love and care about. Much of my thinking seems to be governed by that. All the forms of life, brimming and buzzing across the planet from the deepest oceans to the highest skies, the small things, the huge things, all the colors, all the mindsets. I want to see them all, I love them all. I don't want to lose a single one of them. I want to hold them all dear in my claws.
I want this planet to be open and welcoming to anyone and anything, living in balance. I fight everything that diminishes that variety or threathens that balance. This seems to be at the very core of my identity, my existence, my true self. It's the very force of nature and life itself, unstoppably, irrepressably spreading and flourishing in every possible manner, in an everlasting circle. A force that just won't give up, that will always return even if it takes ages to recover, existing since billions of years until this planet will finally cease to be. And, who knows, maybe even only to reappear at another place. Like a true draconic fire that always burns.
I seem to be stunned by having written this, by having realized that it's this very force I somehow feel... to be me. I've felt this before, all the time actually. When I'm out in nature and open to it, I feel life all around me and at the same time I feel that this force of life is me. Does it make any sense? What kind of being does that make of me? I don't fully understand yet. Is this only part of the puzzle or is it the essence of what I really am?? Does anyone feel the same, eventually? Please comment or PM me if you do. This is incredible even for myself, I tell you.
EDIT: I've re-read this on the day after writing it. It reads completely accurate. I'm very happy to already have received indication that I'm not alone with that feelings, and that they are still in the range of what can be understood and even are partly or fully shared by others. However when I look at the general public it's surely an off-standard perception. Even when I think about people who are very close to animals and nature. That's one thing, but the ones I've met irl are probably still human. Identifying as a dragon and spirit who somehow represents the very force of life itself, that seems... very accurate, but far off. Apparently so far off that it's all enough reason to be called "of another kind", aka otherkin. But even within the otherkin community, it's at the far end of the spectrum as far as I know.