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Taking Away

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When something isn't working you take it away to reevaluate, modify, and try again. When something has been a part of you for so long, and you post about it so often, it is hard to do that. I feel very different about being a Therian now than I did even two days ago, and that is a tad bit scary. I know I am Therian. I know my Theriotypes are correct and I know I have other Theriotypes/Kintypes still left undiscovered. I know that because I feel connected as different animals or creatures found in certain environments. I know I am some sort of marine animal similar to a shark, dolphin, or seal because of my shifts, my instincts, and the places I look at and feel like that is home. That is what a Theriotype/Kintype should be. Even when you don't look at your species, or think about your kin, when you try to push it away it is still you and won't go away.

That is my criteria for being Therian, and now I realize that my "fictotypes" don't fit those criteria. That's sad to me. Toriel was my first fictotypes and one of my first kintypes in general. But I can't convince myself I am her because my feelings of her go away. It's not just I am not intensely shifted into her, its that I am not her for periods of time. I don't feel her until I am listening to the Undertale soundtrack or looking through fanart or playing the game. Same for Hailstorm and snivy. I have memories of them, which is why I kept them both as fictotypes, but memories don't make a kintype unless there is a connection to them. The brain is powerful and I feel sad mine was able to convince me for such a long time. 

This leads me back to the drawing board. Do these characters have merit in terms of questioning other kintypes? Did I believe I was Hailstorm because I am kin as a dragon, or Toriel because I am kin with a goat? How about snivy? Were Toriel and Hailstorm hinting at me being long-lost royalty? Or snivy hinting at me being a long-lost pet? Or were these characters coincidence of a hard time I was going through and needed a way to cope?

Life is strange. 

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