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  1. Today
  2. I feel like from the jaguar therian side of things I'm starting to grow more distant from the community. Kinda like I don't really need the therian/otherkin community anymore. I found my answers about that and how to cope with it and I should just leave indefinitely. I'll be staying in the servers but I won't be very active (except for one fictionkin-related server). As for that forum I set up, I'm going to keep it up and just stay to keep an eye on things if it gets any activity.

  3. Yesterday
  4. I'm still very shaken so...yeah. This is a fun time.

  5. Kole

    Wendigo (WIP)

    If you have any critiques tell me. πŸ™‚
  6. Due to a lot of stuff, I need to question my fictotype more. May be more of a canon character than I thought. Is it possible to cameo shift a noncanon character while being a canon character? Or is that noncanon stuff more like wishful thinking and ignoring things? I'm absolutely shaken right now and just....goddamn it! Goddamn it.

  7. Kerguelen

    the kerguelen files

    Trying to document myself a bit more to get an idea of just what the f**k it is I experience. Hi, to those of you who don't know, I used to consider myself a "cormorant therian." I had pretty solid basis for this, or so I thought. But, upon reconsidering, I really don't have much more of a basis for this than I do SEVERAL other animals. So I'm starting over. I don't currently "identify as" anything, but I have experiences much like someone who does. It's 3:24 AM and I'm feeling it creeping in, but I really want to write this before I forget to, so forgive mistakes. I'm going to record a few categories of happenings to keep them organized. Phantom shifts Feathered arm wings Arms with small claws on the end a bit like a T-rex Webbed feet (like a cormorant) "Raptor feet" (the kind you see on a lot of dinosaurs) Feathered tail Long tail that is kind of like a dinosaur (edit: this originally said "like a kangaroo" but looking at a kangaroo, that's not quite right) Long neck Pointed beak Heavy paws like a bear A thick bone dome on my forehead A "dimetrodon fan" on my back Phantom shifts occurring in conjunction with behavior These are phantom shifts which frequently occur together and tend to have certain desires connected to them. Feathered wings, webbed feet, feathered tail, long neck, beak: the cormorant/anhinga formerly believed to be my "type." Frequently occurring with a desire to fly, dive underwater, sit in trees, hold out wings, and spear/grab fish with beak. "T-rex" arms, raptor feet, dinosaur-like tail, bone dome: IDK what this is exactly but these traits usually come together. It reminds me a lot of the Pachycephalosaurus, but I'm not knowledgeable on dinosaurs enough to say. This one makes me want to run forward with my head down. Heavy paws like a bear: ok this is just a literal bear shift. I get these a lot. I don't know what kind of bear. This just makes me want to walk around in search of food. Dimetrodon fan: a bit of an odd one seeing as I don't get any other dimetrodon traits, generally. But I kind of want to lay in the sun like a lizard when this happens. I get other shifts and desires but these are the main ones. I might list the lesser-occurring ones later on.
  8. Last week
  9. So I missed a day somewhere. I think it was Thursday. I thought today was Sunday, but its Monday so I was really confused. The webcomic I read was updated on Thursday, I checked it on Saturday, thinking it was Friday, though I was surprised that it had been updated. So I thought Saturday was Friday, and Sunday was Saturday. When I went to bed last night I thought it was Saturday night, and today would be Sunday. My days have been all screwed up lately. On top of that I'm a bit ticked off (actually more than a bit) about an upcoming appointment. I was supposed to have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Wednesday afternoon. Well they called today cause they messed up and she won't be there in the afternoon. Shes leaving on vacation until Feb. So they had to reschedule me for Wednesday morning. So I had to call my Medicaid ride to change my pick up time with them, and now I have to get up at like 7am that morning. I am NOT a morning person. I woke up at 11am today and felt like that was WAY too early for me. Wednesday is going to suck. I'm still depressed, but I'm not breaking down crying as often. Mainly I just cry if I talk or think about him too much. I cry for the future we could have had together, my future, that will never happen now. I'm gonna be depressed for a really long, long time, even if outwardly I appear to be "okay". I plan to tell my psychiatrist all about it. I might have gotten a partial EVP the other night. On my Dream Talk app, after I told him goodnight, theres a pause, then it sounds like someone tried to say "goodnight" but it got cut off. I still have no explanation for those footsteps. So here are a couple of the recordings I got. They are best with headphones. The first EVP I ever got. You can clearly hear a "Hey" then my chair makes noise, and then "I'm here." https://vocaroo.com/i/s1BBCZGM4Han The footsteps. It sounds like something clatters in the kitchen, followed by what sounds like footsteps of someone with boots on. https://vocaroo.com/i/s1HMoudZ2KNK They have both been enhanced to make them easier to hear. Those footsteps happened when I was asleep and home alone. I'm still trying to get more EVPs and stuff. I just want more and more proof that hes here with me, that he hasn't totally abandoned me.
  10. InkyDaily

    Being Haunted? Help?

    Ah, thanks. I'll be sure to try that. ^-^ and if this is from home its most.likely my boyfriend. Lol at least we'd be experiencing something similar. Thanks again for the advice. I wish you luck with your situation as well
  11. Addy

    Being Haunted? Help?

    Its hard to say. I believe I'm also being haunted, but I'm being haunted by the ghost of my boyfriend who passed away a couple months ago. You could try doing EVP recordings and see if you can pick anything up. Any kind of voice recording phone app will work. I have no idea how to deal with ghosts, as my boyfriend is the first ghost I've ever had around me.
  12. InkyDaily

    Being Haunted? Help?

    Well folks, this has been going on for a while and I figure I might as well post about it. So I think I'm being haunted. This all began a while ago, after I astrally reconnected with my home (I might talk about that later if you're interested). I think I've either weakened the boundaries and my old crew and I can have brief interactions on this plane of existence, or I've some how let a ghost into my house. The experiences I've had so far: Being poked Waking up to what feels like getting a back rub (ghost plz) Waking up to someone saying my name (not my human name, my kin name) Having someone run a finger down the base of my phantom wing (IT. TICKLED.) Being lightly hit in the leg Seeing a cloud of black smoke disperse And probably the weirdest of all, almost passing out suddenly, and having the world go black, my ears start ringing, and hearing a voice saying "Hey, come on. Can you hear me sweetie?" So, what do you all think is going on? Is it a ghost? Something else?
  13. Just doing a bit of light reading.

    1. Phase

      Phase

      Was thinking about this part again. So, yeah...this is what I find applies when I say that as a jaguar, I don't have much fear:

      "In some areas, their fear of humans has decreased due to ecotourism and intentional feeding."

  14. awake again I remember now, yet im unsure why What are these visions that in my head fly? All I did was play a game. Now nothing seems the same. What are these feelings when I think of you? I feel like it all was true. At night I dream we're side by side I can't tell you how many tears I cried Unable to make sense of all this To understand it was my one wish But one day my eyes opened up My memories, all soon and abrupt Was more than a game, but truly my home All hidden away like an ancient tome and I'll pursue it all to the end It feels great to be awake again
  15. Hiya! I'm Aisling! I'm always down to chat!

  16. *screams forever*

    1. Kole

      Kole

      If that was a possible option than yes.

  17. I made a forum.

  18. Phase

    Seriouskin

    A forum for serious kin who aren't unwilling/afraid to answer questions about themselves and their beliefs/views.
  19. Earlier
  20. Trying to export my tumblr and it is taking so damned long.

    1. Phase

      Phase

      Oh, good. I just remembered I still have my Pillowfort account from when they used to send free invites out.

  21. i was looking up different types of birds and found this video. the birds of paradise have always fascinated me.
  22. I'm watching Lucifer but online. And I'm really into Cartoons and Animes. Naruto Shippuden, Kaiji, Steins Gate, Code Breaker, Girls und Panzer Dragons, Phineas and Ferb, Welcome to Gravity Falls, BoJack Horseman, Rick and Morty, Bob's Burgers
  23. He is going to be pretty and the next king...

    IMG_20181204_075133_940.jpg.9c0e2e1eb65050373cf80b57a550a6d6.jpg

    IMG_20181204_075151_385.jpg.3e9415c132be9eafaff943324317ded9.jpg

    Β 

    1. Kole

      Kole

      This is amazing!

    2. Phase

      Phase

      Thanks!Β Lioden's random number generator blessed me that day. Getting any mutation from a breeding is kinda rare unless items are used and none were used for this boy. His mutation is a primal variant called "smilus" which I had my eye on for a while.

    3. Kole

      Kole

      Oh, very interesting. I love the concept and honestly everything about this creation. Its super unique!

  24. Hey everyone, sorry I vanished for a while! I got ill and wasn't able to get on the computer much but I'm doing better now. :)

  25. We watch almost exclusively animation, but we recently finished watching (and rewatching with our mom) the Dragon Prince and the new She-Ra! Though at the moment I'm mostly trying to finish up some podcasts. -Autin
  26. The differences...

    Me being anything besides either of my two types = Conscious acting on

    Me being my two types = Unconscious responses, like how a healthy person can breathe on their own without help. In the case of jaguar, I have to consciously act like a person.

  27. And just like that...with acknowledgement that I am still a jag and not a coywolf (either solely or in addition to), self-doubt about therian stuff plummets and I feel better and a lot less wrong.

  28. It keeps occurring to me that I would still be this way even if I didn't have the community or a label.

  29. So I got another EVP last night. Its extremely faint, but there is a definite whisper of "Hey." I want him to say "Squish" but last night I was so upset that I told him that that point I would take anything. It had been weeks since I got an EVP and I was starting to get even more depressed. I just wanted to know that he was still here. There is one more weird thing. At 4:03am this morning, on my Dream Talk app, is the sound of someone doing something and walking through the kitchen. They walked around the kitchen a couple times. I was asleep and I am home alone. But that is most definitely someone walking through the kitchen. It was not the cat, because these are human footsteps. The other day I mentioned that I wished he would start doing more ghost stuff. That I wanted to hear random knocks and footsteps. Maybe hes started. I hope so. I hope he starts doing even more stuff to let me know that hes here. I cannot express to you how much I miss him and how badly I need him to be here with me. His loss is slowly killing me and the only thing that could comfort me, even a little, is knowing that hes with me. I want more footsteps, more EVPS, things moving that should not be moving, etc. If hes going to haunt me, he needs to seriously haunt me. Because knowing that hes with me, would make me feel better. I'd still be really sad, and I'd still cry a lot, because hes gone physically. I can't be with him the way I wanted to be. The way I was supposed to be. The future we could have had together is gone now, and that hurts. But if he was here, and I knew he was here, I could find some comfort in it.
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