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  1. 3 points
    Just left the store really happy! I had a strong German shepherd shift with a phantom tail and ear shift. The mental shift made me almost bark as I walked. I almost felt I was an actual German shepherd walking through the store! My mental illnesses are really hurting me severely, so I’m glad this shift made me feel a lot better.
  2. 1 point
    I'd also like to chime in and encourage to trust your feelings a bit more. You seem a very rational and questioning kind of person and I know it's hard to trust yourself because I'm basically the same. That's why talking to each other is so important. In my eyes your story reads typical to a sceptical otherkin. You somehow found you were attracted to dragons from being a small child for no specific reason (of course I know Tabaluga btw, haha). That was ok back then because that's what children do. You wrote down your experiences, externalized them, played around with them. Felt good. Growing older you realized there might be more to this. It influenced your perception of the world. Then rationality kicked in and there was a phase of denial, putting it of as wishful thinking, shoving it under the table, struggling to fit in as "normal". But heck it didn't work. You couldn't just shake this off because being otherkin or not, the connection to dragons somehow is an innate part of you. So now you're back here wondering about what the heck you really are. Do you have an idea how many times I've asked this very question myself the last year? How often I ponder about if I really am a dragon or just assume to be one because I like how it feels right? I stopped counting, but you can see how much I struggle from my blog. I think it is totally fine to like your supposed kintype. That does not neccessarily mean you're a copinglink - which needs something to cope with in the first place. Yes, it could be otherhearted but it's a fine line. Also, I think there virtually is no "how a dragon is supposed to be". Dragons are hugely diverse. Some us us have fur, feathers, scales, beards.. two legs, four legs, six legs, you name it. Some are smaller than a human, some bigger as a house. Some even don't have wings. Makes you start to wonder what exactly a Dragon is, haha. So I think scepticism is good, and questioning yourself is always helpful to some degree. Being sceptic and considering to be biased keeps our feet on the ground but you can dismiss basically everything by being over-sceptic or assuming that you're biased. At some point, trust in yourself is needed. It takes time, though. I'd like to encourage to check out the other options already identified. What we definitely know about you at this point is that you're an extremely strong friend to dragons, and want to be dragon-like yourself badly. So why exactly would this be the case if you are a dinosaur? What it is that you like about dragons, and is this present in dinosaurs, too? Don't be afraid to make mistakes, that's part of real life. Again, if you run into any sort of trouble, feel free to PM me.. just indicate if I push you into the dragon corner too much. I don't at all want to do so if you realize you don't fit in there. I'll be there for you in any case.
  3. 1 point
    Finished up another reference for zhuards and I'm relieved that it's finally done and in my collection. I can have a little breather now, although I do plan for others (half-phasing, ka'nar form and pharaoh form). Had a lot of things to get off my chest here.
  4. 1 point
    This morning I remembered my dream and I think it was pretty interesting! It wasn’t very long or detailed but here it is. I dreamt that I was -what I interpreted as- a dragon of some sort. I guess it could also just be classified as; giant lizard. And I was walking on, what I assumed, earth when volcanoes were very active. The thing that happened in my dream is that I went “swimming” in the volcanoes, walking underneath streams of lava and resting on the stones as the lava streamed past me down hill. When I woke up I could still hear the sound of the rocks falling down hill and the warmth of the lava streams on my back. Unfortunately I don’t remember what I looked like exactly. I don’t put a lot of weight on my dreams (as I have had dreams about being a pro basketballer and such, hah!) But I do like to write them down if they possibly have to do with my identity or how I view myself, for later reference. I will attach a image for some visual reference. Credits to levyj413 on dpchallenge.
  5. 1 point
    Yeah.. I was also stirring my claw in a lava sea in one of my visions. Felt like stirring through honey. I totally recommend to closely note and document such experiences, especially if they come unexpected and somehow feel unusual as opposed to everyday dreams. There might still be no meaning to them, but this way you'll at least be able to put the pieces together later.
  6. 1 point
    This is an interesting and familiar sentiment to me. While I feel that species dysphoria can be helpful for awakening for some people, I did not find it particularly helpful or present in my own awakening long ago. Being human brings so many opportunities! It's kinda neat to have thumbs and a private sphere of mind and an entire world that's been manicured for your existence, in a way. I did not feel dysphoria over being human until I was a depressed preteen. As a kid, it didn't matter that I was human; I could be both Human and Otherkin/Myself. Both could exist at the same time and they didn't necessarily conflict. I see myself as Human because I am living that reality; I see myself as elven and fae and etc because that is also a part of my reality. I don't think you need to be Not Human in order to be otherkin... and there is a dangerous element to denying lived reality, in all cases as well as in matters of identity.
  7. 0 points
    Ahh, finally out of school for the day >.< Time to relax!
  8. 0 points
    (Note: A Lilin is a type of succubus. I'm using this term instead of the more general "succubus" because I can't speak for all succubi. I have no idea how it feels to be an Agrati, Eisheti, etc. Also, this post is going to be about sexuality. I'm not going to be explicit or anything, but if you're under 18 or not okay with that, you've been warned!) Those of you who've read my profile might notice that I put "other" for my sexuality. That's because a Lilin's sexuality is complicated! And a Lilin-kin's is double complicated! Most people just need to worry about who they feel romantic attraction towards, and who they feel sexual attraction towards. But Lilin can feel a third type of attraction that muddies the water significantly: Hunger. Since we're all trapped in human bodies - for better or worse - let's talk about how a human experiences hunger: When you're hungry, you basically feel a craving for food. This starts off very generally, but as you unconsciously think about different kinds of food that you could have, you start to crave a specific type. You can still satisfy your hunger by eating anything, but there's an understanding that the food you're craving will taste especially good. It works this way for Lilin, too. Except instead of eating food, we basically eat lust.* This may seem like a restrictive diet, but consider how wide of a spectrum lust is. There's dominant lust, submissive lust, the lust you feel for a crush, the lust that makes you melt into a kiss. And that's just scratching the surface! One thing Lilin become very good at is dialing in on what specific type of lust we're hungry for, and evoking that as strongly as possible in our partners. It's kind of like seasoning your food. * This is a huge oversimplification! Feeding should really be a blog post on its own, but I'm not even sure I fully understand it yet. There's only so much that you can learn by studying your instincts and proclivities. Of course, I'm not exactly a Lilin. I'm stuck in a human body for now, and that means I've never actually tasted lust. I just sort of know how wonderful it would be. There are a lot of things that I just somehow know about how I'm supposed to be, and that can be a blessing and a curse. Anyway, a human body can't feel hungry or satiated in the way that I'm designed to. And in place of that, I feel a total absence of feedback. This absence bothers me very deeply, and is one of the main things that makes my sexuality so complicated. Why? Well... Let's go back to my human/eating analogy. But just for fun, let's reverse things. Let's say you're a human mind in a Lilin body. So you still have all of those human instincts asking "Did I eat enough? Am I going to starve?" but all they get in response is silence. Imagine how unsettling it would be to go a month without food, and just feel nothing. Wouldn't you try eating anyway? Just to see what would happen? Now imagine how it would feel to smell your favorite food, to take a big bite, and have it disappear before you can taste it. Let me tell you, it is weird! So what I do to cope with this is I basically pretend. If I focus enough, I can pretend-feed to satisfy a pretend-hunger, and that makes me feel a little better. It keeps my survival instincts from completely freaking out. And since I create this feeling consciously, I can feel it for pretty much anyone I want. Lilin aren't generally picky, but I can be because I get to choose who I feel hunger for. And that's... kind of a good thing, actually. It's one of the few advantages to being partly human. But just because I can crave anyone I want, doesn't mean that I can love anyone I want. Those feelings can go together, but one doesn't lead to the other. In theory, I could pretend-feed on someone who I feel no attraction to at all, and still enjoy it. Because feeding is about what a person is feeling, and not how they look or what gender they are. So I hope that makes a bit more sense now. Thanks for reading!
  9. 0 points
    @Shezep: To be honest, if I believed in the supernatural I would probably believe that I was taking energy from people. But as it is, I consider myself a psychological otherkin and I like to explain things empirically. So when I feel like I'm taking energy from somebody, it wouldn't make sense for me to believe that's actually happening, because I don't even believe energy exists. The most likely explanation - in my view - is just that I need to feel that on some level, as part of a survival instinct. That just seems like the best explanation for now. But I could be completely wrong, of course!
  10. 0 points
    It seems strange to me that you can't sense this. I gets lots of feedback when I feed on solar energy, sometimes more than I'd want. I definitely feel it when other gods grant me an energy boost as well. Regular humans with no previous experience can learn to sense energy, though the time it takes can vary. Some people get it pretty quickly and some may take a few years of practice before it clicks. My teacher has had students study with him for two or three years before the lightbulb comes on. Do you sense other types of energy? Maybe you had the bad luck of finding yourself in the human equivalent of an energy-deaf body. Or maybe there's a block on you for a reason. I can see how having those previous instincts rule you in this life would be difficult to handle. In that case, maybe it's best to leave it alone.
  11. 0 points
    (All right, I needed to scratch this post multiple times, because while writing it I had multiple Ideas and- dare I say revelations (?) about a few things. And I have to add some trigger warnings her, I guess, for mentions of anxiety and parental abuse... even if I didn't wanted to talk about this just yet here in my third blogpost? But It came up in my musings.) Discussing or just reading comments here made pointed me to a obvious but kind of unexpected question I never quite asked myself, which is Why? Why do I like Dragons that much? Am I kith, am I kin with them or do I just like them because they are cool? I like mythology in general, I'm very interested in culture in general and there's no specific time or place I really focus on. But If I really look into it, I'm not that obsessed actually. I had a dragon phase as others had a wolf or archeology phase where it peaked over multiple years, but it dimmed down now. I still love them and if there are dragons somehow involved or depicted, that at least catches my eyes. But come to think of it properly it's much like the average fantasy fan. I love nature as whole and all types of animals equally and am very fascinated with them. If you ask me to pic a favorite, it will be enormously difficult for me, but eventually I would point to Butterfly's, Elephants and Dragons. And sometimes Owls. See a pattern there? Dragons for me are wise and intelligent, strong but kind, guiding and fiercely protecting and nobody can harm them. Everything an abused twelve year old whose parents give no rules to obey is drawn to. And if they encourage it by buying you more of it, even better, It seemed to please them so why stopp? Dragons are a copy mechanism for me. Elephants, owls and butterfly's are also associated with wisdom and/ or growth. And yet, I have such a different "relationship" with them. Butterfly's are the most beautiful creatures I know. Not only their colors but also their fragility, yet extreme endurance is mind blowing and I love the natural magic of their livelong evolution. Did you ever stand in a swarm of these fluttering all around you? Life is literally pulsating and overwhelms you with its power. There's a reason hope and the soul are so often depicted as butterfly's, I guess? And they are so helpful and important in the ecological system, too! Owls are... owls, I guess. I love how those silent cunning predators have perfectioned their survivals skills, like not all of them catching their prey from the air, there are species who literally running after it. And they're are so beautiful and mysterious and strong. And baby owls are one of the the sweetest things I've seen. Elephants, tho. I have/had an elephant as an spirit guide (I have no Idea if they're still around). I love watching them, I talk to them in the local zoo. My day just instantly grows better if I see one in real life. If they touch me with their trunk, I'm playing with them until they loose interest. I collect statues of them, I try to buy one in every new Town I visit as an souvenir. I always said I have the soul of an elephant because I'm feeling this old, everybody thinks my proverbial skin is thicker than is actually is, I remember everything ever done to me, my sense of orientation is inhumanly good, I love and protect my family and home at all cost and I grieve for ages for lost love ones. That picture of an elephant touching an old bone tenderly? That's me. That is literally me. And I always loved them, If we go to the zoo nobody even asks if we shall also visit the elephants, we just do. If we go to a zoo in another town, the first thing located on the map are lions for my dad and elephants for me. It just is. I have a child's ring from where I' was three which has an elephant on it and I would wear it if my hands weren't too big. I love warmth and sandy colors -I have orange walls and my whole wardrobe is either that, grey/ black or blue. There is this song about a man longing and being a hurt soul and asking his lover to be gentle with him and I relate soooo much to it both because of what was done to me and the simple fact that its starting with " I'm an elephant, I forget nothing.". I made that statement multiple times and it is true. It's freaking true. I need to look into this further but whoa. My head's spinning right now, and I really hope this is readable and not the brain vormitting gibberish it actually is. Thank you for pushing me to ask this questions.
  12. 0 points
    I really really want to be a dragon. As my kin type, I mean. I am Obsessed with Dragons, ever since I was eight years old. I don't know what caused it. In my personal library exist four sections: Dragons, Nonfiction, and three or four crime and sifi- novels. I love all kind of media with Dragons, but back then there was this amazing kids show (ever heard of Tabaluga?). I sometimes but not exclusively drew dragons, bc they never looked like I wanted them to. I wrote my first story with a dragon -who was a side character but essential to the plot. I had a friend with whom my sole occupation and friendship was based upon role playing us as dragons and once she was bored of it at age sixteen our friendship grew apart. It was my first brush with the other kin community, too. I stumbled upon a you tube channel by Azura Dragonfeather (?) and grew fascinated. I started to notice shifts and questioned some of my behaviors, but it always wasn't quite convincing. I even experienced one (1) memory which completely overthrew my world view. I didn't believe in past lives. But, there is that thing called shifters disease, and I always had an extremely powerful Imagination. And hey, it was Dragons! I could have the opportunity to be as close to being a Dragon as humanly possible. It was a freaking siren song that drew me in. Then, the shifts and feelings stopped the less I thought about that topic, which further convinced me it was all wishful thinking. And there was this thing with the wings I felt which constantly changed their shape and never stayed the same. Knowing my obsession I completely retreated, stopped researching and abandoned the whole thing. Yes, otherkin exist, but I was not one of them. Then about six months ago I started reading my old journal from 2010-2013 out of nostalgia, and on the very first page I introduced myself as a girl with angel wings, pointy ears, fangs and a beard, which nobody luckily sees bc people already think I'm strange. And I continued to mention those offhand multiple times over the years, until I abruptly stop doing so in the following journal- Knowing that time of my life I probably tried to silence those things bc I wanted to fit in and be normal and thus ignored it. So, here was my proof that I actually had phantom shifts before I knew of the community and the reason why I decided to make this account and start to honestly question if I really might be otherkin. Perhaps even a Dragon? With my first phantom shifts after stumbling over the community I immediately jumped onto the conclusion: Dragon. Because, well, I'm obsessed. But there's actually nothing completely diverse that couldn't also be some other type of lizard. There are dinosaurs with wings and the features I feel. Or its a type of dragon differing from what I think a dragon is supposed to be. Or its a type of lizard I don't know, I'm not that knowledgeable in biology. I'm just afraid I'm forcing myself into a direction I don't really belong to, because some old childhood obsession of mine, and all the sentimentally connected to it.
  13. 0 points
    I'm finally back! And I've had a ton of time to think about my identity. I think I can finally talk about being a Lilin with some amount of certainty.
  14. 0 points
    I totally agree. There are many users who feel both human and non-human at the same time. It's something that was new to me when I joined here, too, and still feels a bit paradox for me. Although I have a different stance when it comes to myself, I think it's totally fine to give high value in your human side, whatever it is you connect with it, and you don't at all have to give up that side to be otherkin. Being otherkin only means to be more fully yourself, I think.
  15. 0 points
    I had a super vivid realistic dream shift last night! It started off normally and then I started to question things. After I became lucid I first imagined my phantom tail becoming a physical one (which worked!!) then I got down and imagined the rest of the body and before I knew it I was a white swiss shepherd! I decided to walk to a nearby park and played with the other dogs in the area which was super fun but I had to make sure I didn't get too excited or I'd have woken up earlier. It lasted about a few days in the dream before a mother and daughter decided to adopt me?? (dream logic lmao) Anyway I slept in their house and the next morning they put a lead on my collar and got me to sit and wait whilst opening the front door. We started walking down the street and up until this point I could just about contain my excitement but I was walking *as myself* with nice owners and I was ecstatic, the dream faded out and I woke up shortly after getting excited but I woke up really happy! I hope I can have that dream everyday.
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  20. 0 points
    I think it's funny that my parents don't view half the things I do as therian-esq. I literally just tripped and made a loud yip-bark, but because I've made all sorts of sounds since I was little, it went unquestioned. And it's like, all the time. I yip when I'm startled, I whine a lot, I even accidentally growl and bark sometimes on accident and it just slips past my parents.
  21. 0 points
    It's not wrong to gently shift your internal perspective to try things out for size. This isn't life or death, and it's okay to be wrong, to be right, to be right for now but in the future realize it has changed! You will never be the You That You Are In This Moment once this moment has passed--so what stays alive between changing moments? What haunts you in your dreams and deepest personal thoughts? What eyes are you looking through? Okay, zen business mentioned... it's okay to wanna be some really cool thing. I think, at heart, everybody wishes they were a dragon. But not everybody wishes they were a dragon so much that they roleplay it, journal about it, have an alternate persona with a pretty distinct and consistent appearance, etc. Shoot, I even still wish I was a dragon! (I was formerly a gateway system with a dragon member, I am now singulate and fae/elven. I occasionally see some overlap between traits considered fae and traits considered dragon and my partner occasionally calls me an "alien snake panther" which I just kinda parse as 'kinda close to the modern idea of a dragon'.) Don't feel like you're bad, or stealing, or making things up. Just feel it out, be open to any response (or no response, which is the more frustratingly common event) without judgment or expectation. Maybe you are dragonkin, or kith, or it ends up just being an artistic persona.
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  23. 0 points
    Ahhh so tired! It's only halfway into the week, but I can't wait for the long weekend! I just wanna rest and go on mini-walks.
  24. 0 points
    One thing to consider if you've always felt drawn to dragons is the possibility of being dragon-hearted (being connected to dragons in some way, perhaps spiritually or mentally). Being hearted (sometimes called kith) with a creature can cause very similar experiences to being otherkin. Although being otherkin is very possible as well, while not everyone loves their kintypes there are certainly many who do so it wouldn't be uncommon. Many people are drawn to their kintypes because of their identity so being obsessed with something as a child could point to it being a kintype, of course, it could also just be something you loved/were fascinated with. Another possibility is you may have shifts coming from different places - you may have a couple of different kintypes (reptile and avian for example) or you may be both hearted and otherkin. As you mentioned, dinosaurs are also a possibility and there are certainly some who could fit and it's worth researching more! Those are just a few possibilities for you to think over, but of course only you can figure out your kintype. If you feel yourself leaning to a specific possibility that's fine, don't be worried to explore it because you feel you may be biased; your initial instincts may well be right. Just make sure to keep an open mind and explore other possibilities as well - even those you don't believe fit. Who knows, something may surprise you but if not and you find yourself ending back up at dragon you will have learnt a lot more about yourself along the way. Through exploring other possibilities, seeing what fits and what does not, you'll build up a more solid sense of your identity and be more confident in the answers you find. Self-discovery is a journey and it can be a long one. You may take a few wrong turns along the way but that's ok, most of us have. That's how we all learn and grow.
  25. 0 points
    44 thousand years puts it at the oldest yet, and it contains pictures of human-animal hybrids. https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/11/world/oldest-rock-art-humans-scn/index.html
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