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Amber

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  • I had a really nice lucid dream this morning. First time ever, I was able to fly away from my old house without any anxiety of immanent desctruction. Also saw no planes crashing. And this time it lasted longer than usual, a few minutes I think. I was mainly concentrating on flapping my wings and gain height. Still a great achievement.

    Today I found out two interesting things.

    The first one is something I came across by researching Chinese dragon mythology. Apparently the Chinese dragons are helpful, friendly and protective god-like creatures. I need to investigate that further, but the thing I came across was the so-called "dragon pearl". It seems the Chinese say that, if swallowed, such pearl could turn a human into a dragon... not that I think that's possible, but it's just an interesting aspect. It could relate to the necklace I've seen in one of my first meditations. The gemstone on there was round shaped like a pearl...a dragon pearl, maybe?

    The second thing relates to a specific skin sensation I'm used to have since ages. It feels like a "pin and needles" thing, like tiny ants or small electric pulses propagating under my skin. It usually happens when I'm feeling very positive about something, and can also be triggered by touches or temperature differences. It doesn't have anything to do with numb limbs, but it always starts at my lower back (no, not that low :toungederg: ) and can propagate to almost the whole body if I allow it. I can control it to a certain extent. It's not at all uncomfortable or disturbing. Now, up to now I thought this would be completely normal, but today I found it's an abnormal medical condition called "Paresthesia". It feels like an energy stream propagating through me. I didn't yet manage to let it flow through my whole body yet, but I think it once reached my head. Felt awesome.

    The funny thing is that during my 2018 m-shift, I actually interpreted that feeling as positive feedback from a part of my consciousness which seems to be dormant. That seems quite far-fetched, but you know... this actually proved very, very helpful. I got the same (very strong) sensation involuntarily yesterday again while thinking about a hypothesis about magic and emotion in the Multiverse of Minds. There also is an antagonist feeling which manifests as a very uncomfortable sensation in my stomach. It seems to indicate that something (e.g. an idea) is very bad. It happens rarely, but when it does I typically omit the idea, which makes the feeling vanish without any sign of medical condition afterwards.

    Maybe this is just the draconic version of having a "stomach feeling", haha. Since it seems completely harmless I don't see any reason to have it medically treated. I would actually strongly object against that because I think it helps me.

    Nilam
    Nilam
    ...... what can i say? your a good soul... why would i ever consider your lineage, gender, or your will as apart of your loving future?
    Just returned from the business exhibition (it's half past midnight here). All went well, but I got to get some rest, I'll need to be in the office tomorrow....

    This was a very stormy and rainy sunday. Well, starting tomorrow I'll be at a business exhibition, but I hope I can still check the forum in the evenings. Have a nice week, y'all!

    Amber
    Amber
    Thanks, Lunastre! Oh, I'm getting so happy when friends call me a dragon :w00tderg:

    Gosh, I went grocery shopping yesterday and still keep automatically evading people who would otherwise walk through my ph-tail. Guess you could call me a vacillant therian now. The tail's practically always there, also the wings feel like just any other body part. Only my face tends to stay human-like.

    My surgery is done and I'm already home again. It went without any problem, I'm not even too tired now. I hope they cut away the right bit. The only bad thing is that I still don't have wings :toungederg:

    Interestingly, I had some sort of dream during the anesthesia this time. I only can't remember what it was about. Felt good, though.

    Spent about 2 hours in the hospital today to plan my surgery which will be tomorrow... good! The surgeon told me that doing the thing would need less than 5 minutes, haha...

    Phew, it's finally weekend. Quite a stressful week it was, and I'm not too sorry that it's over.
    Also the weather was so great around here today! A scent of spring already. Should've remembered to take a snapshot picture.

    As expected, the doctor sent me to the hospital... appointment is next tuesday. I expect the surgery to happen also next week. No big deal, had the same thing 5 years ago. Only the treatment afterwards will be a bit annoying. 

    Actually, surgeries are funny. It feels much like having my car repaired. As soon as I enter the hospital, I switch on the autopilot and let it do everything. I'm pretty much indifferent to what the doctors do as long as they don't cut away limbs or organs... And as long as the autopilot is on, the human body just feels like a damaged part that's being repaired, haha :toungederg:

    Yesterday I saw a report about a recent German study which indicates that reading black letters on a white background may cause myopia. While reading white letters on black background may counteract this and contribute to farsightedness. Another good reason to use the dark "Wolven" theme.

    Also I've read that deep breathing is said to be beneficial to meditation and lucid dreaming. I'll be trying this. Maybe the reason my lucid dreams are so short is that I unvoluntarily stop breathing while having them? I'll concentrate on breathing next time if I can.

    LunastreDraconis
    LunastreDraconis
    The lucid dreaming thing is interesting! I would have to try that

    I should finally start this feed thing... Well, today's one of the rare occasions I'm feeling sad. I feel like a dragon who has lost its wings. I want to fly. It's a cruel thing. This night, I thought it may be almost better to not remember at all.

    But alas, I can already feel my radical positiveness. It says "Yeah, it's bad you have lost your wings and it sucks. But it's good to remember. That only means that you will get them back. You will fight for that - as always, until you succeed". Because that's my way of thinking. All the time, no matter what.

    Amber
    Amber
    Thanks for feeling with me! Yeah, it's alright if we find something to fight for. I'm the type of mindset who just won't give up, even if it takes decades or millenia or.. whatever.

    Welcome to the Kinmunity! I'm always open for a chat! ^^

    Amber
    Amber
    Thanks a lot, and welcome to the community, too! Well, I'm not doing much online community stuff usually, and never joined an otherkin community before. For the time being, I think I'll mostly read, learn and try to understand. Might also leave some comments and start a blog soon. Writing seems to help me in understanding things quite a lot. I'll see you!

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