So my dad lost his discover card and my family doesn't have much in the bank again. Dad's been trying to keep up with my medical bills and other bills. I had my gallbladder removed two months ago but it's caused more ham getting it removed. I can't eat much without getting a stomach ache and Mental has become my best friend for pain. I hate that I have to leach off my parents. I really need to catch up on life. I need a job, an apartment and get a licence.
still not feeling well even after my gallbladder surgery and I've been thinking about my past alot. I've stolen stuff from friends and cousins, gotten into many arguments, did some weird things with my ex and listened to my voices. I just want to be a better person. I've been thinking about my otherkinship too. Wondering if it's a past life thing (I believe in the multiverse and reincarnation) I got two weird readings from an astrologist and tarot card reader one told me in my past life as a dwarf I was male and one of my friends spent the night at my place he had an accident and died and I stole his Gold. But how could I be angry at myself for something I don't remember? I've heard karma from past lives can make you sick in your current life. The other reading I got was to fix my life I have to do what I've done as a child. But I don't remember what that is. I found a spirituality forum... Probably not going to go on there because I don't really believe or care much for a lot of spiritual practices but there is a Christianity and past life section.I know some therian and otherkin identify as psychological (even though I don't understand that) but my dream shifts are too vivid not to believe this (especially the ones where I wake up out of breath from drowning). My theory is something I call soul transfural (something I got while watching a conscious transfural explanation of how time travel works) My theory is that sins, experiences and feelings (like shifts) got transferred over to my current life. What I've heard about reincarnation is that spirit guides only help you if you know what to ask them and if you don't ask them the right questions they take away most of your memories upon reincarnation. If this ends up to be true I hope to break out of this cycle by disobeying my spirit guide and demanding to go to an afterlife.