Well when I thought I knew myself it seems I really dont. I have mentioned my own problems of sudden increase in anxiety and stress ever since my mother got sick. I know finally the answer to it. I am diagnosed with PTSD, most likely related to what happened to my father and aunt in particular who both got similiar cases of cancer not long after eachother. I shared a close bond with them all. I still dont know how to feel but I feel some peace now knowing what is the cause behind it. It will mean that it will stick with me for the rest of my life since it is something that, ugh I hate the word, cannot be cured but the symptoms can be managed. It doesnt feel to dangerous now but I will stay in pursuit for a effective means to handle the symptoms so it will not get worse over time now it is still pretty tame. It does makes perfect sense in the grand scope of things since my problems seem to overlap with the general symptoms. I cannot wait to get my life back after these few months of living in fear. I cannot wait to feel happiness once again.