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Charias

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Charias last won the day on November 5

Charias had the most liked content!

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About Charias

  • Rank
    Wandering Wolf

Personal Information

  • Gender Identity
    Other
  • Gender Expression
    Neutral
  • Preferred Pronouns
    They/them or he/him
  • Sexuality
    Asexual
  • Antisexuality
    No
  • Interests
    Most animals (especially dogs, reptiles and invertebrates), anything sci-fi or fantasy, travelling, photography, digital art, writing, worldbuilding
  • Hobbies
    Playing video games, browsing the internet, looking after my pets, researching random crap
  • Favorite Games & Video Games
    Flight Rising, Fallout 3, NV and 4, Skyrim, Elder Scrolls Online, Assassin's Creed, Red Dead Redemption, Minecraft, Subnautica, and a bunch of other stuff too
  • Favorite Sports & Teams
    Is sitting a sport?
  • Religion
    Spiritual agnostic
  • Personal Spirituality
    I'm an open-minded philosophical solipsist with an interest in witchcraft and paganism, though I don't currently practice either. My spiritual beliefs are based entirely on my own experiences; I have memories of former lives, so I believe quite firmly in reincarnation. I don't believe in any omnipotent creator deity, but I have a loose belief in lesser godlike entities. I'm also open to the idea of alternate planes, and the existence of mythical creatures on a non-physical level.

Other-than-human Identity

  • I am...
    an otherkin
    a therianthrope
    a plural system
  • Primary Identity
    Polykin
  • Other names
    Rook, Turukhan

Otherkin Identity

  • Kintype(s)
    Eurasian wolf, guardian/nature spirit, questioning amur leopard
  • Kintype(s) Description
    Wolf: yellowish-brown female with yellow eyes, approximately 5 or 6 years old; probably about the least majestic wolf you'll ever have the misfortune to meet.

    Spirit: shard of a four-billion-year-old sentient mass of energy in the form of a many-limbed, insectoid dragon.
  • Time of Awakening
    Mid 2012
  • Personal Otherkin Experiences
    Really, there's a lot I could say here. It's easier to just write it in blogs and stuff. I'm happy enough to answer questions and whatnot, too! In regards to my experience with the otherkin community: I've been part of it for about four years now, but have spent a lot of time lurking or hovering on the periphery. I'd say I'm quite knowledgeable when it comes to 'kin stuff, since I took a very strong interest in it in the first year after I awakened. These days, I'm mostly just here to help folks and try to find a balance between my human and non-human aspects.
  • Personal Awakening
    Long story short is, I was walking along one day when I realised I wasn't human. A few coincidences later, I found out that otherkin were a thing and I wasn't completely crazy, and I've been hanging around the community ever since.
  • Body Dysphoria
    Yes

Otherkin Shifting Frequency

  • Mental Shifting
    My kintype integrated to my base personality
  • Dream Shifting
    I experience it few times a month
  • Phantom Shifting
    I experience it some times a week
  • Aura Shifting
    It's constant
  • Sensory Shifting
    I experience it few times a year
  • Astral Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Bi-Location Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Cameo Shifting
    I experience it few times a month

Otherkin Shifting Duration

  • Mental Shifting
    It lasts for more than some hours
  • Dream Shifting
    It lasts few hours
  • Phantom Shifting
    It lasts for more than some hours
  • Sensory Shifting
    It lasts a hour
  • Astral Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Bi-Location Shifting
    I don't experience it
  • Cameo Shifting
    It lasts for more than some hours

Otherkin Shifting Triggers

  • Mental Shifting
    voluntary
    emotionally-provoked
    external stimuli-provoked
    unprovoked involuntary
  • Dream Shifting
    unprovoked involuntary
  • Phantom Shifting
    voluntary
    emotionally-provoked
    external stimuli-provoked
  • Sensory Shifting
    external stimuli-provoked
    unprovoked involuntary
  • Cameo Shifting
    voluntary
    external stimuli-provoked
    unprovoked involuntary

Otherkin Shifting Experiences

  • Mental Shifting
    It affects my voluntary responses to stimuli
    It affects my involuntary responses to stimuli
    I make noises that similar to the ones my kintype makes
    I become unable to understand what people say
    It affects how I use my limbs
    I become unable to speak
    It affects my posture
  • Dream Shifting
    I experience this during the night
  • Phantom Shifting
    I experience the sense of heat in my phantom limbs
    I experience the sense of pain in my phantom limbs
  • Aura Shifting
    No one said they saw my aura changing the way I saw while I was shifted
  • Sensory Shifting
    It affects my sense of smell
    It affects my sense of hearing
    I get extra senses
  • Sensory Shifting
    I know I'm sensory shifted even while shifted
  • Cameo Shifting
    My cameos are on the kintypes I am considering to be
    My cameos are connected to my heart-types
    My cameos are connected to my totems
    My cameos are completely random

Other-Hearted Identity

  • Kith
    Emperor scorpion, Gurt dog, daedra (Elder Scrolls)

Plural System Identity

  • System type
    Host of tulpae
  • My headmates are result of...
    Created thoughtforms
    Other (psychological)
  • Are members named?
    There's at least one one that it was given them a name
  • Member count
    1 (only me)(singlet)
  • About each member
    Rook - me. The one who's been typing all this stuff.

    Akarthyx - my daemon. Tends to be pragmatic, sceptical and logical, but is pretty fun and impulsive too. Makes bad jokes and uses really weird metaphors that usually trail off into complete nonsense. Likes messing around, overusing memes and Mexican food as long as it isn't too spicy. Currently takes the form of a Eurasian otter, striped hyena, or small, feathered wyvern.

    Aeolus - mostly dormant natural tulpa/fictive, who stems from a character I made a few years ago and probably came about due to stress. He is a mirror dragon from the game Flight Rising and has memories of living in a world similar to that one, but doesn't believe they have any spiritual truth to them and doesn't really care either way. He's 15-ish but mature for his age, and really enjoys learning about human culture and history. He's been hibernating for a while due to mutual concerns that my poor mental health was having an effect on him (he's still young, after all).

Vampire Identity

  • Vampirism
    Not a vampire

Recent Profile Visitors

896 profile views
  1. Probably not crazy

    Welp. It's been a while. And this is kind of a pain in the backside to write on my phone, but... I've gotta get it off my chest. And yep, it feels exactly as crazy as it sounds. Maybe I made it up. I don't know. My depression's been pretty bad lately, which is one of the reasons I haven't really been 'round here. Earlier today, I had a bit of a moment, and basically sunk into a pit of self-hatred (probably irrational, but my brain doesn't care for logic when it gets in that state). The reason it was only a moment, and not a whole episode? Well, um. I got this weird feeling like someone was watching me, then something started... kinda talking to me? Not like an auditory hallucination or anything. More like when I talk to my thoughtforms, but I know it wasn't either of them. And, I mean, it didn't feel like it was coming from some part of myself. Paraphrasing a little here cause our conversation wasn't all in words, but the gist of it was... it didn't say everything would be okay, but that it's okay to feel like shit sometimes. I said it shouldn't bother with me, and it did a mental shrug like it wasn't a big deal. It seemed almost like it understood? Like it'd been in the same kind of position before or something. It mentioned my spiritual weirdness in an offhand way, but didn't treat it like a big deal right now. One thing that really struck me though, was... well, with spirit stuff, I usually feel pretty untouchable just because of what my kintype is. I'm not afraid of ghosts or demons 'cause, at the end of the day, they're small - I'm big. But this thing was different. It didn't feel small. In some ways, it made me feel small. Guess there are things out there bigger than me. I'm just a nature spirit, after all. But it's not something I'm used to feeling. So. Uh. Yeah. Dunno what to do with this experience, so I guess I'll just... kinda... see if it happens again? Maybe meditate on it? I really don't know. This is way out of my comfort zone. Umm.
  2. Dumbest thought of the day!

    "Why do I only ever lose the right sock?" Spoiler: it's cause I put the left one on first xD
  3. The Let it All Out Thread

    I'm still not really sure how to deal with the conflicts between my sceptical, logical mind and my spiritual experiences. There's so much friction between the two. And if I look at it socially, it gets even worse... I can't show anyone that what I feel is real - I can't even show myself that - and I'm surrounded by non-spiritual atheists. If I try to talk about my beliefs, they'll think I'm crazy. Then I start wondering if I am crazy after all. Ugh.
  4. The Let it All Out Thread

    Bleh... my laptop's broke, so I've had to resort to using the internet via my phone, which is a real pain in the rear end. I want to be more active here, but even writing this is taking so long and it's making my fingers hurt and I'm basically just whining right now, heh. Having big problems makes small problems feel worse than they really are... got plenty of big problems, but it's the small ones that'll push me over the edge. Small problems like my laptop dying... :(
  5. Soul Age Test

    It's a fun test, but I really don't put much stock in things like this. It did get me right, though! Old soul. Very, very old.
  6. Daily Thought

    I'm signing up for a uni access course this week! It starts in February, so I've got plenty of time to prepare myself. Psychology and social sciences. I'm so hyped!! :D
  7. The Let it All Out Thread

    I keep meaning to be more active on here, but my mood's been really low lately... bleh.
  8. Fantasy Generator

    Centaur illusionist... not bad, but if I was born a couple days earlier I could've been a shapeshifter! Now that would be perfect. :D
  9. Daily Thought

    Wow, I have not been feeling sociable at all lately... even online... whoops >.> Kinda hope this asocial phase passes soon.
  10. Sure is fun being able to feel other people's emotions //sarcasm

  11. This Big, Black Cavern

    It is now 4 in the morning, and I haven't got a wink of sleep. Been lying in bed for 2 hours. Watched an episode of Planet Earth II, which helped me relax, but I struggle to sleep with the light and noise. Turned it off, got comfortable... nope. No sleep. My body was tired, my brain was wide awake. Now, my body and my brain are wide awake. I've gave up on getting any sleep tonight. Would rather get stuff done than battle with my whirling thoughts. First time I've ever had an all-nighter thanks to insomnia. Usually I manage to get to sleep eventually. But this is just not working... so I'm going to tidy up my room a bit, eat the earliest breakfast I've ever had, and hope I can stay awake long enough to see Nyoka off to his new home. My prediction: I'm going to be drinking a lot of coffee today.
  12. This Big, Black Cavern

    Strange place, strange mind, strange life... My head's in a weird place right now. I'm still trying to recover from... what happened last Monday. It's not been easy to deal with. I'll be perfectly honest - I've been a complete wreck this past week. Swinging between feeling sad, angry and numb. A couple of days ago I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse and talked some things out with her, and that made me feel better for a little while... but I'm still hurting. Bad. And now, it's 1 in the morning and I don't feel tired. Yesterday, I felt exhausted at 9. Now, I just feel restless and agitated and wrong. I've been a little on edge all day... and, confession time: I've been hallucinating a bit. It's something I've had issues with before. Pretty sure it's a combination of tiredness and anxiety. It's not like I'm seeing something vivid or prolonged... just movement in the corner of my eye, or a split-second impression of something drifting past my face. When I was playing on my Xbox earlier today I kept seeing a big spider crawling around on the pillow next to me. Checked the whole thing, there was nothing there. But I still kept seeing it. It is kinda funny though - I only ever hallucinate two things. Spiders, and crane flies. Since I'm not arachnophobic at all, I don't really mind the spiders. But I'm absolutely petrified of crane flies, so whenever I "see" one anywhere near me I panic. There was a time, about a year ago, when I had problems sleeping because sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night and clearly see one flying around in front of me. So I'd yelp, leap out of bed and turn the light on... nothing there. Never anything there. It's ultimately a minor problem, though. It's a symptom of other things. Back then, it was my extremely unhealthy state of mind. Now, it's stress, anxiety, and negative emotions that I don't know how to deal with. So I've been trying to keep myself distracted, with varying amounts of success. I've played a lot of video games today, mostly cutesy stuff to help me relax. I did some drawing earlier, but ended up getting frustrated and gave up on it for the day. And, after a bit of casual internet browsing, I ended up on some website dedicated to debunking hoaxes and whatnot. It's an interesting site and I'll probably go check it out again at some point, but... well, scepticism is bad for my brain. Scepticism does not go well with my identity at all, and when I'm in a fragile state of mind like this, it can send me into a bit of an existential crisis. Cause, I mean. My past life memories and whatnot are as vivid to me as any memories from this life. So it's hard to question one without growing a creeping doubt of the other. Bleh. Can't deal with that shit right now. What else? Oh, uh, I'm rehoming one of my pets tomorrow. My snake, Nyoka. I've had him for four years, but I've finally got to the point where I just can't look after him anymore. Got my hands full with both my dogs, and he deserves an owner that'll actually appreciate him and give him more attention than I can (I know people think snakes don't like it, but I swear Nyoka perks right up when he's handled, and he gets a little down if nobody gets him out for a while). The person who's buying him seems really nice, too. And the money's going towards a replacement computer for me, since my laptop's falling apart (it's five/six years old now, heh) and it's kinda essential, since the internet is my only way to socialise right now. Plus, what would I do without this place? Probably implode or something. I'll miss him, but it's a load off my mind to know he'll be with someone who can look after him properly. I guess I feel a little better after airing this stuff out? Maybe? Welp. It's now 1:30. I feel slightly more tired, but I doubt I'll be able to get to sleep right now. Guess I'll go lie in bed and watch documentaries until I doze off or something. ...I just realised what my head right now makes me think of. It's like a big, black cavern, and I'm stood near a small light, and every mundane sound echoes and reverberates until it sounds like something terrifying in the dark. And I know it's just bats, or water dripping, or the sound of my own breathing, but that doesn't stop my heart from racing and it sure as hell doesn't stop me from looking over my shoulder every two seconds... just in case. Drip, drip, drip. Almost makes you wish it were a monster. At least then you'd have something to run from.
  13. The Let it All Out Thread

    Thanks, @Shezep. Everything actually turned out alright; she came home today after the doctors checked her out... it's still pretty rough, though. I don't know how to feel. Guess I'll just sleep it off for now.
  14. The Let it All Out Thread

    Shit, shit, shit... sorry, this is gonna get really personal really fast, but I need to vent or I'm gonna break down. Last night my mum tried to commit suicide. She took a lethal amount of painkillers and was rushed to the hospital at 6 in the morning. I'm at home looking after my little brother, and I have no idea what's going on. I tried to call my stepdad (who went with her) but there's no answer. I tried my mum's phone, same result. I have no idea what's going on. They have never turned their phones off while out, or anything. Usually when I call they pick up within 2 seconds. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to call, nobody to talk to... I'm putting on a brave face for my brother's sake, but it's hard. I feel so alone. I don't know how to deal with this. I can't do this.
  15. The Let it All Out Thread

    aUUGGH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE AnD I'M SCARED. I never talked to people before!! And suddenly out of the blue Rook's just like heck lets get this guy on here talking to people bc why the hell not... nonononononono... okay little lie its not like they forced me or anything, I didn't want to chicken out but I'm so nervous right now... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHYY. Auu I'm embarrassing myself oh gog. so heeeeeeey, this is me posting literally to say I don't kn ow what to post and I'm really shy n nervous for some reason. I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY. But yeah, the lead dweeb is right, just gotta take baby steps. haha maybe one day i'll be able to front and actually, like, TALK to people FOR REAL. That'd be cool... but for now I'm just sorta talking on here and I'm scared help. this is literally the longest thing i've ever written. I should proooobably write more often. get some practice with this whole thing. But this monologueing into the void is Rook's shtick, not mine... it's not even like I have anything to talk about!! I'm an imaginary brain dragon!! oh yeah, um, I'm Aeolus.a kinda tulpa-ish thing? maybe?? ehh labels. ok thats it I'm done writing for this whole year probably. nope nope nope.
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