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Shezep last won the day on September 18

Shezep had the most liked content!

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About Shezep

  • Rank
    Holy Birb

Personal Information

  • Gender Identity
  • Gender Expression
    Masculinity (weak)
  • Preferred Pronouns
    he, they
  • Sexuality
  • Antisexuality
  • Religion

Other-than-human Identity

  • Primary Identity
  • Other names

Otherkin Identity

  • Kin Name
  • Kintype(s)
    deity-shard, hawk therian, polymorph, spirit being
  • Time of Awakening
    12yrs, 19yrs
  • Body Dysphoria
  1. I agree, if something doesn't feel right, don't bother with it. The research is to give you ideas, not to lock you into a certain way of doing things, which is why I warned you that some Hellenics, and Reconsctructionists in general (who try their best to accurately recreate ancient practices) might not be your or Pan's style. They often see seriousness as a sign of legitimacy which I'm sure Pan would scoff at. The themes can end up getting pretty deep and serious without all the extra ceremony involved. If something feels like it's working, keep doing it. If it's not working, drop it and move on. If you like it but you're not sure if it works, give it some time. Some things get better with practice.
  2. Follow your nose!

    I really dislike fake floral scents. When I go candle or incense shopping I skip those and go for musky or sweet scents. I like sandalwood, patchouli and vanilla. I like cedar, which reminds me of where I grew up. I like to put a few drops of cedar oil in my bath, though I'm out of it now. Here there is a unique smell of rain on creosote plants that you don't get in other places. I also think of the spicy scent of the tiny plant particles that get wedged inside lava rocks. Desert plants tend to have a lot of oils for protection, so they tend to be more fragrant. Of course there's the artemesia too which is used like sage, and sometimes called sage, but just about everything with silvery leaves is called sage out here. I like natural flower scents, just not fake ones which are too sharp. Last spring my orange tree bloomed and filled my room with its scent. It hit me in the face with sweet orange every time I walked in. We also have jasmine growing outside. Scents aren't really a shifting trigger for me though.
  3. I partly blame the all-powerful myth on the priesthood who elevate their gods so that they are also elevated by association. It's basically a political play. I think it's really annoying when they do that. From my own experience, theories, whatever, gods don't need offerings or followers to exist in their natural state, however, the state that humans have come to know is not the natural state. It's a mid level compromise that makes it possible to interact with this layer of existence. Energy is needed in order to act on the intermediate and lower layers. Offerings also serve as an invitation, which helps too. Repetition and enduring objects provide an anchor point allowing easier access. All of those are important for acting outside of your natural habitat. It's like how you'd need a SCUBA tank and other equipment to be effective under water, but when walking around on dry land there's no shortage of breathable air.
  4. Seduced by his spirit once again

    I'd say talk to the Hellenics and look into Hellenism. Though Pan is something of an outlier there and might be approached somewhat differently than the Olympians. It could give you a place to start though. I found a wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellenism_(religion) I know there were a number of Hellenics on Tumblr, though they seemed to be a little on the conservative side of the spectrum, which might not suit a follower of Pan so much. Might be best to just read and not get into the middle of it.
  5. In my case, I did not have a great interest in birds of prey or Egyptian mythology before discovering my kintype. I had an interest in flying and in magic. I had an interest in professionalism and fair play. I had not just an interest, but a driving need for the spiritual side of life. I identified myself as a warrior from the time I was in kindergarten, even if I didn't have any particular need to fight and almost never got into fights. Though if I had simply tried to put a name to those characteristics, I probably would have come up with angel. This is why I tell people to look beyond the obvious when they're trying to put a name to their characteristics. A wolf therian who had never seen a wolf would still be a wolf therian. They might call it something else, but they would still have the characteristics of a wolf. The characteristics come first. Putting a name to the identity comes after. My kintype was there long before I knew what to call it. What you're describing sounds very different from that.
  6. Reaching a point of content

    Acceptance takes time too. That part took me years. You don't need to keep energy flowing into acceptance. If it's a real kintype it won't disappear if you ignore it.
  7. Having great interests for things is an indication of having a heart-type but not a kin type, especially when the interest developed after being around a similar animal. Would you still think of yourself as a therian if you never had pets? Their influence changed your perception of yourself. This is what we mean when we say that they come from the outside. Yes, you are doing the shifts, but without that outside influence you would not have them. Having pets changed you from who you were to someone who is more animal-like. Who were you before your pets died? Were you human then? What was it about you that made you branch out into all these other animals?
  8. It sounds like what you are doing is working. I use tarot to clear things up also. In visions and dreams I look for the element of surprise, emotional impact, and whether or not I can feel energy signatures from the other people there. I also compare with recent events to see if some of those have snuck in to my thinking. If given a name or something, make the effort to look that up. After I do all of that, I'm still not 100% sure that I'm not making it up. There isn't really any way to rule that out. But asking those kinds of questions helps to narrow it down somewhat. Also, writing this stuff down somewhere is a good idea in case you need to refer back to something later. Something that doesn't make sense at first might become clearer with time. You might also start to recognize patterns in what shows up and when.
  9. Becoming a God

    Yes, actually I have had energy shifts like that. It starts off nice, then builds pressure, then it feels hot enough to burn. Let me tell you, feeling like you have sunburns inside your body is no picnic. (And no, phantom energy burn is not exactly the same thing as a physical burn. It's not as bad but still pretty uncomfortable.) My spirit is used to using way more power than the energy systems attached to this body can handle. I still do a lot of energy work when I feel up to it. I do magic simply because I am what I am, but I try not to get too hung up on the results. Maybe I can nudge the probabilities a bit, and maybe not, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't try. Of course there are plenty of non magical ways to nudge probabilities too, so keep an eye out for those. The second means of coping is to learn boundaries. You can't save the whole world, but you might be able to work with the part of it that's right in front of you. Some of what is in front of you doesn't belong to you, and you need to know when to let that go. If watching the news is getting you down, turn it off until you stabilize again. Worrying about events that are beyond your reach does no one any good. Worry is not currency, or labor, or even prayer. It's just added stress that drains your emotional reserves. These are lessons that are well worth learning whether you're human or not. Also, I wasn't all powerful as a god either. If I was, we'd be typing in demotic right now. Stuff happens no matter who you are, it's just a matter of scale.
  10. This Big, Black Cavern

    -offers hugs- Hang in there and take care of yourself. You went through a difficult thing that most people never have to deal with. I hope Nyoka enjoys his new home.
  11. How and when

    Don't worry too hard over it. We've heard stories like this before. As long as you've got it in check now, there's not much to worry about. Humans are pretty violent anyway, which means that losing control due to anger is not always an animal trait. I think I read once that human levels of violence are about on par with primates of similar size, though civilization and increased standards of living does have a softening effect on homicide rates. In other words, humans are animals too. The real question is, do you feel nonhuman? Not just on rare occasions but do you pretty much always have at least a low background sense of being something else? Personally, I discovered my kintype via the brick-to-the-head method, actually twice because the second one got more specific than the first had been. One day I had no idea, and the next Bam! There it was. There are no techniques or methods that can cause one of those to happen. It's like hitting the lottery. The revelation was nearly instantaneous, but then it took years to truly understand what it meant, to work through and research the relevant information, and to learn how to live with it. It took awhile to compare what I knew with what I'd been told in order to determine if the information was right or not. Of course, that was after I got over the denial stage of the process which added a few more years to it. Some people start with vague feelings that they slowly get to come together into a coherent picture. Sometimes through research. Sometimes by trying things on to see what fits and what doesn't. When you come up with a possibility check with your past history to see if it makes sense. Beware of false positives, because if you want something to be true, your brain will bend over backwards trying to offer you proof that it is. There are no easy answers.
  12. Favorite Known Aliens?

    A lot of my favorites from media have already been mentioned so I'll throw another fave out there. Odo Ital from Deep Space Nine. He was a polymorphic shape shifter. His name often reminds me of the polymorph's dilemma: If I can be anything at all, then who am I, really? His name actually means "unknown sample" which in the Cardassian language meant "nothing." He was practically living an otherkin kind of life, though he was still physically himself. All day long he mimicked the humanoid shape of the people he lived with and felt embarrassed whenever anyone saw him in his liquid true form. He had a desire to uphold law and order as the station's security chief, a trait he inherited from his species. Later he discovered that his true people were planet conquering jerks. Fun fact, when he first appeared on screen I recognized the actor because he used to play on Benson. Yes, I'm that old.
  13. The Let it All Out Thread

    Apparently I can not skip one day of doing the neti rinse thing. Now my ears are clogged again. Curse you allergies! I have been trapped inside my room with the air filter all weekend. I even stayed home while everyone else went to the awesome ranch with the petting zoo and the steak. Leftover steak is practically a tragedy after it's been warmed up. Luckily I have no appointments today either. Tomorrow I have to leave my safe shelter to teach a class and to take my wife to an appointment. I will bring my inhaler and hope I don't need to use it. Rain is nice, but the stuff that follows the rain isn't so nice. (Cough, cough.) Yeah, that was after just stepping out to get some tea and medicine. I'm so bored being stuck in here!
  14. The Dresden Files

    Dresden is awesome! I'm probably going to make my daughter read at least the first one, though when we told her about Bob the skull, for some reason that got her attention. Bob is an intellect spirit that resides in a skull. The book and TV versions of Bob are very different from each other, but both versions are pretty cool. The books are definitely better than the TV overall. Dresden's big mouth is one of my favorite parts of the books. Gotta love a hero with attitude. The way that Butcher writes about the various trade offs involved in magic is pretty interesting too.
  15. God/s you worship

    Just FYI, Anpu and Bast are like the Kemetic welcoming committee. They love bringing new people in! :) (Not just you Mist, I've heard a number of people around here mention them and be hesitant about it.) (Naturally I'm biased when it comes to my family though. I try not to interfere...mostly.)