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Gryff last won the day on May 16

Gryff had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

456 Awesome


About Gryff

  • Rank
    Uber-Geek Fauntaur

Personal Information

  • Gender Identity
  • Gender Expression
  • Preferred Pronouns
  • Sexuality
  • Antisexuality
  • Hobbies
    Video games, tabletop games, writing, music
  • Favorite Games & Video Games
    The Legend of Zelda, Fallout, Dungeons and Dragons, Fantasy Craft, Magic the Gathering, Pokemon
  • Favorite Sports & Teams
    Chicago Bears (American Football), Chicago Cubs (Baseball)


  • Kin Name
    That would be "Gryff"
  • Aliases
    Jake (real name), Goron (nickname)
  • Primary Identity
  • Kintype(s)
  • Time of Awakening
    Around 2000
  • Shifting Experience
    Mental Shifting
  • Shifting Triggers
    I experience voluntary shifts.
  • Plural System
  • Kintype Description
    I made up the term "fauntaur" because I don't know exactly what I am, but I am confident in some things. Essentially a fauntaur is a creature that is human on top, with the lower body of either a four legged horse (i.e. a centaur), a two legged goat (i.e. a faun), or a four legged goat. It may also be a demon, which in this case means a powerful and malevolent being.
  • Personal Awakening
    I was always obsessed with transformation growing up, and I would sometimes face periods where being human just felt so distressing for me. I would give anything to not be. So when I was somewhere between 10 and 12, even though I was smart enough to know that it was stupid to do so, I looked online for websites about physical transformations. In my results I found an otherkin forum, and it just felt like the explanation I was looking for.
  • Personal Otherkin Experiences
    I don't really shift, and in fact, outside of TUF (see below and in my signature for what that means), being kin doesn't affect my life much. My biggest focus is on trying to figure out what I am, which has been a harrowing 15-plus year experience that's still ongoing.
  • Religion
    Jewish (cultural)
  • Personal Spirituality
    I believe there's probably some higher power up there, and I get the feeling it doesn't like me

Recent Profile Visitors

499 profile views
  1. I think it might be helpful for there to be a piece that gets into just how much these definitions do vary. This is another thing I've wondered myself and had to ask a lot of people about, yourself included. It might be nice to have a bunch of that info in one place. I'll see if I can make that happen.
  2. Thank you for the pictures; I will try to post mine soon. As for shifting and the like, I've been trying to make that happen for over a decade. The real problem is that I'm too caught up with other things to devote my time to meditation of any sort. That, and I have a hard time with it. As for people finding it so exciting that they can't help but share it, I might believe that if not for the fact that several people insisted to me that it's a terrible experience. And that might make me feel better, if I believed them. But it's like you said: people take these experiences for granted. You know what they say, the grass is always greener and all that. But based on my brief, split second experience with shifting, I'm confident that shifting is better than not shifting. I do recognize that I'm not alone in that. The problem is that it seems like more and more conversation on the site is taken up by talk about shifting and other things that don't really apply to me. Maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places.
  3. Mythology is a set of stories passed down over time by many different people. That means that there are many conflicting interpretations of different stories, species, and characters. So figuring out where one fits into that whole tapestry is complicated, as is figuring out what it means when someone doesn't quite fit into existing mythology (*points to self*)
  4. I like the idea of an article exploring a kin type's potential relationships to mythology. I've personally found it to be a difficult road, but I've also found ways to deal with the challenges.
  5. (If you've played Persona 5 you know where the title comes from) As I noted previously, I've been spending significantly less time on the site during the past week or two than I normally do. This is because I'm currently without a job, which throws my whole routine out of whack. That being said, I wanted to at least provide an update on things that have happened or come up recently. First, a new brief flash of a potential past life memory has come to me since I last wrote about such things. It had me as a faun, except with a longer tail, wearing some sort of turban or headband, and looking sadly at what appeared to be a Child’s drawing in crayon. I'm not sure if this is something that was drawn by me, or a family member, or what, but it does raise the question of family in my past life. When I was transformed into a fauntaur, did I leave a family behind? If so, did I ever see them again? And did they see me? It's not the most important of questions, I realize, but it's one worth considering. It's also noteworthy that this image came to me during a writing meditation. It's a method I'll be sure to try again in the future. The next notable thing is a new theory about my past life. It's a minor one, but important. I've said before that whatever transformed me in my past life had to be extremely powerful, enough that it could transform both my body and my spirit. I more or less narrowed this down to djinn and gods. But I assumed that if it was a god, it was Pan or someone I pissed off. But who's to say that’s the case? Especially given the relationship I might have had with Pan, if he had any rival gods (looking at you, Apollo), I could see them doing it. Something like, “Hey Pan, now one of the humans you like is as ugly as you!” The Greek gods were petty. Actually, the idea of it being Apollo does make a lot of sense when I think about it. Different Greek gods have been shown to have different abilities, so there’s no way to know for certain whether Pan or any other god has the power to transform people if the mythology doesn’t show them with that power. But Apollo has been shown to have that power, and in fact he’s been shown to use it on a follower of Pan. Maybe that’s why the story about King Midas stood out so much to me. It’s only a theory for now, as I don’t have any personal evidence, but it makes sense logically. Perhaps I should read up some more on Apollo, and see if that would really fit his character. Speaking of Pan, while I was at the Art Institute of Chicago today, I ran into a statue of Pan himself. It was good to see, and I grabbed a picture, which I'll try to post soon. It didn't really evoke anything, but I always appreciate art that features Pan, fauns, and centaurs. There were also a fair few pieces that featured Apollo, so that’s...something, I guess. Even if my new theory isn’t true, I can’t help but not like the guy due to the rivalry with Pan. There’s also something else of import I noticed about the classical artwork I saw both here and in Europe featuring satyrs and fauns: a lot of times, especially in older works, they’re depicted as basically looking like humans; no hooves or horns or even horse ears and tails like the classical Greek satyrs are said to have. But Pan is always depicted as having goat legs and horns, generally speaking. The statue at the Art Institute doesn’t appear to have horns, but as it dates back to ancient Rome and was later restored, they’re likely just missing rather than excluded. Now, this ties back to the theory from above. If I was transformed into a fauntaur as a mockery of Pan, it would explain why I don’t quite match the ancient ideas and appearances of fauns and satyrs. The main reason I haven’t been on the forums a lot lately is that my schedule is all kind of messed up due to not having a job currently (something that I hope will be remedied very soon). But to be honest, that isn’t the only reason. I feel like the community has changed a lot. Remember, I’m an old timer when it comes to otherkin forums. It seems like more and more things are being accepted here without question, things that I don’t think should be accepted so easily. People make claims that seem insane to me, and nobody else bats an eye. Sometimes I say something publicly about it, but usually I just move past it because I don’t want to be the dick of the forum. I said in the past that we shouldn’t be too hard on new members, but I also warned that we shouldn’t be too soft on them either. I’ll do what I can to keep doing what I have been doing: questioning people politely. But honestly, it gets to the point that it angers me sometimes. Not just because I think it’s bad for people’s discovery if we don’t question them, but also because it feels like my only choices are to go along with it or be the bad guy. It also makes my own position feel worse and worse. The more people claim to be able to experience and do, the more painfully clear it is how much I can’t experience or do. Is that jealousy? Maybe; it depends on how much I trust people to be on the level. Either way, sometimes it feels like I just don’t have a place here anymore. I don’t shift, I don’t know exactly what I am, I don’t have any special abilities, and I don’t have any solid past life memories. And more and more it seems like I’m the only one who doesn’t. So I can’t really help anybody, and that’s one of the main reasons I joined this site. And I can’t get help, because my experiences are so different from everyone else’s. I feel like the forum has moved on without me. So I don’t know if I’m going to get back to being active on the forums. I’ll try, but I can’t say for certain if it’s going to happen. I’ll still be available via direct message and I’ll still keep blogging, but I don’t know about the rest. Either way, if anyone is looking for me, I’ll be around.
  6. I was really just using fiction kin as an example, but I agree with you. I was a bit hesitant at first, but after learning more about the subject I've become much more accepting.
  7. Maybe you've noticed that I've been playing "bad cop" a lot lately. I'm the guy who has to tell people that certain things need evidence, and that certain things are not enough to make someone otherkin. I guess the fact of the matter is, I'm old fashioned. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. When I first joined the online kin community, fiction kin weren't even a thing, or at least not a widely discussed thing. Even when I joined this site, things were a lot more strict. And while I always support assuming good faith and giving people a chance to explain themselves, I think we need a bit more of that strictness. But that's just me.
  8. Are there plans to bring back the non-wolf ones?
  9. I like this idea too. Though, wouldn't it make more sense to have it as a subforum under "The Meadow Theater"?
  10. That's an awesome idea. Any particular topics you have in mind? I can think of some too if we end up making such a list.
  11. Hmm...not a bad question actually. I'd guess that horse would be easier? :-)
  12. As the state of things in my life changes, so too does my activity on this site. Friday is my last day at my current job, so my job search is ramping up. In the short term it means I'll be on the site less this week than usual. After Friday, that may continue, although I may actually end up on here more. Just don't worry if I drop off for a bit.
  13. That's my second favorite band :-) I've been listening to Saturnz Barz nonstop!
  14. Right now I'm listening to the soundtrack of Shovel Knight. 8-bit never sounded so good.
  15. Last night I finally did some meditation. This post is my account of the results. First, despite the problems with doing so that I outlined before, I did that same past life guided meditation again. This time, I did see something different, though similar. It was still a Middle Eastern setting, but while my previous attempts had it looking like Agrabah, this time I tried to avoid that. Instead what I ended up with was something that looked like ancient Jerusalem or something like that. And I mean very ancient, as in still being built. There were a lot of masons and carpenters around. I saw myself walking through the city, and even saw my face. It looked nothing like my current self, which is a good sign that I wasn't just making it up, and I was very angry. While a previous meditation showed me wearing very basic, almost revealing clothes, this time I was dressed extremely fancy. I had some sort of red cloak and all sorts of regalia. When the death part came, I saw myself getting attacked by a bunch of giant black spiders. Are these truly memories of a past life? Who knows? I don’t. They aren't as clear or vivid as what I saw the first time I did this, but they felt more accurate than the jester thing. So yeah, I don't know. But I can analyze what it might mean if this was a vision of a past life. For one, I can't tell if this is the same past life as the one I saw before. They have similar settings, but the details are different. The vibe I got was that this person was not a good dude. Something really angered him, and it probably involved him trying to do something bad and being stopped. But I can only guess. Notably, there was no sign of me being non-human here, but the person I saw was totally covered except for the face. That's about all I can take from this. I'm hoping further meditation will help me figure out whether this is a totally different past life, or another stage of the previous one, assuming it is a past life at all of course. After that was done, I decided to try some free form meditation, without guidance. As suggested by Gryn because of the Arabian aspect of these potential past life memories and the music aspect of my kin type, I listened to some Middle Eastern music as I did this. It was an interesting experience. I did glimpse a few things in my head, but nothing was too significant. Still, usually I don't see anything during free form meditation, so that was a good sign. Then, during one part of the music, I suddenly felt compelled to start “dancing” and did so. I say “dancing” because it was really just my arms and hands moving. Now, randomly feeling the urge to dance to music is actually not that strange for me, believe it or not. But this was more intense, and during meditation as well. I doubt it means anything, but who the heck knows. It was just weird. I may try the same thing again tonight and see what happens. Edit: Apparently this is my 100th blog post. Yay? Actually there have been more, but some were lost when the site had to be reset.