I'm feeling further ostracized from my family, mainly because they don't take me seriously or just seriously underestimate me. It does terrible things to my confidence. One of the things that gives me some sort of fighting power was learning about my past life(or what I presume is my past life) and what I truly am in the spiritual sense.
Being asexual is giving me more problems again, particularly when people tell me that sex is a human or natural thing. That reinforces the feeling that I am an alien (nonhuman) or that I don't belong here at all. There's also the fact that non human animals have sex as well so that first explanation makes zero sense. And then there's my parents consistently ask or tell me that not having kids is selfish. My responses to that is:the world is over populated, and I will create something else that will have some lasting impact on the world. Babies aren't the only thing you can create. The tarot cards indicated that I had adopted in a past life. Whether that's true or not, I don't know. If it is true, then I am following my old patterns.
Another thing is when I told my mom I want to go to a Buddhist temple in China in the future. Her response was that I can go with my future husband. I told her that wasn't going to happen or that it was unlikely. Then she complained on how she raised an old maid. I snapped and told her that she knows exactly what she raised, (someone with nonhuman spiritual identities) and that I will make my own path and destiny in this world. I am shocked that this sort of thinking is so innate and ingrained into humanity while it isn't for me, especially when I was raised with this type of thinking. If wanting to live a different life makes me an old maid solely on the reason that I don't want to get married, then that comparison is seriously disheartening and a disappointment. With the exception of friends, I feel very alone within my family.
It is times like this that remind me that I have to 'pretend' to play human or mimic them. And no, otherkinity didn't start this type of thinking. I had this type of thinking for years while I only knew about otherkin/therianthropy for almost a year. I actually have no problems being the way I am and it doesn't cause me distress. It only impairs me when other people criticize me for being different or by having such different beliefs in general.