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About Ruko

  • Rank
    Space Triangle

Personal Information

  • Gender Identity
  • Gender Expression
    Masculinity (moderate)
  • Preferred Pronouns
    He, Him etc
  • Sexuality
  • Antisexuality
  • Interests
    Humans, Animation, Birds, Dragons, Demons, Aliens
  • Hobbies
    Animation, Writing, Video Media
  • Favorite Music
    Electronic Hardcore, Orchestral
  • Favorite Books & Authors
    The Shapeshifter Series by Ali Sparkes
  • Favorite Movies & TV Shows
    Watership Down, Neon Genisis Evangelion, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
  • Favorite Games & Video Games
    Black & White, Depth, Digimon
  • Religion
  • Personal Spirituality
    I am a sceptic, I am constantly questioning everything.

Other-than-human Identity

  • I am...
    an otherkin
    a fictionkin
  • Primary Identity

Otherkin Identity

  • Kin Name
    Ruko or Reiji
  • Kintype(s)
    Alienshard & Vampire Fictionshard
  • Kintype(s) Description
    Alien -
    I am a neurological alienshard, part of an alien through direct alterations within my brain wiring.
    There is no physical form for my kintype. Motion; a collection of an undiscovered form of molecule that interacts with each other as connections in the brain do for biological organisms; however this isn't contained within a physical form thus means it can manipulate reality around it as easily as you can change things within your own mind.

    Fictionkin -
    I am also phychological fictionshard as Reiji Sakamaki from the source material of Diabolik Lovers.
    This is something I'm still trying to come to terms with and all my reactions to it are involuntary and have made my life quite confusing. I believe it's the result of my brain being confused on how it processes my identity thus reacting as if I am the character.
    Sakamaki Reiji is a pure blood vampire and one of the many sons of Karlhienz, the Vampire Lord. My brothers are Ayato, Laito, Kanato, Subaru and Shu.
  • Time of Awakening
    Started using the term late December 2015, fictionshard was around early/mid 2017
  • Personal Awakening
    It's genuinely quite hard to put my experiences into words, as there are few ways to describe them.
    Thoughts that span into the darkness of the mind and dredge up questions that aren't normally asked are met with often surprisingly 'obvious' answers that I feel I myself did not say, when the only one in my head is presumably, myself.

    To put this in the most basic of descriptions, somehow the question of what I am came up, and the answer was given. Given in a way that made me feel stupid for even asking. An obvious answer, but where it came from, I could not say; as upon thinking about it in reality, there is no basis for it's being.

    I thought the first few times it was purely random chance, but it kept occurring and I noticed many leanings that added to this seemingly illogical theory. Maybe it is just a madness of the mind, and I'm quite comfortable accepting that if that is the case, but either way, I will only know after I am dead, and I will have my answer, or no longer care for one.
  • Body Dysphoria

Otherkin Shifting Frequency

  • Mental Shifting
    I experience it few times a year
  • Sensory Shifting
    I already experienced it in the past, but I don't nowadays
  • Bi-Location Shifting
    I already experienced it in the past, but I don't nowadays
  • Cameo Shifting
    I already experienced it in the past, but I don't nowadays

Otherkin Shifting Duration

  • Mental Shifting
    It lasts a hour

Otherkin Shifting Triggers

  • Mental Shifting
    unprovoked involuntary

Otherkin Shifting Experiences

  • Mental Shifting
    It affects my voluntary responses to stimuli
    It affects my involuntary responses to stimuli
  • Bi-Location Shifting
    I notice I'm shifted even while shifted
  • Cameo Shifting
    My cameos are connected to my heart-types
    My cameos are random
    but inside a specific a specific set of options

Other-Hearted Identity

  • Kith
    Avian, Chicken, Demon

Plural System Identity

Vampire Identity

  • Vampirism
    Not a vampire

Recent Profile Visitors

549 profile views
  1. Ruko

  2. Hey! I recently watched Evangelion. I am in love. I adore it. I'm sure you appreciate it for more than the geometry
    1. Ruko


      I'm not back yet, I just pop on now and then to take a look at what's been going on. <: I'll be back soon.
  4. Dragons of the Chat - Kinmunity Media Contest 1 Entry

    [USER=1775]@Ember Juno[/USER] Me. Haha.
  5. You won't see this for a while, but listen to this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3X7oKUenpbw I bet you'll like it. :)
  6. My "personal" music

    I was gonna say good thing you said three songs so I could do one for each system member but seems you said they could have three each, so that was lucky haha. Gonna have Taru's and myselfs together though, don't want to post too many. Sordis [Nothing explicit, but kinda unnerving for people of weak disposition] I have no idea why they like nightcore so much. Myself / Taru
  7. Bones for messages in chat

    Well what I meant was that it would only take 10 messages to get to the bone cap per hour. An example: 1 message gives 1 bone, so 10 messages gives 10 bones, but 11 messages doesn't give you any more past the 10 you already have. If you wanted to be kinder you can up the amount of bones given per message, or change the cap limit of bones. So it's not strict at all, it just stops possible spammers since it'd be quite easy to reach the cap. Then, come 1 hour later, you can get another 10 bones via 10 messages sent, and so on. You could set the amount to being lower per message if you wanted to set it to 60 messages, but it would take far longer to reach the cap, so might encourage people messaging too much. So 1 message gives 0.3 bones, so then 60 messages gives 18 bones, for example.
  8. Bones for messages in chat

    An idea could be that maybe it's set to give a set amount of bones when someone sends maybe.. 10 messages in each hour, so any more sent after that won't give any more bones till the next hour. This keeps a fair distribution of bones that encourages activity yet without encouraging spamming.
  9. Different Types of Systems

    I thought I already had this uploaded, apparently I'd forgotten to reupload it after the site went down. Whoops. An illustration between the different system types.
  10. Like my sweater?

    That is a very cool jumper.
  11. Dissociative Arm

    [USER=1446]@Paniczoure[/USER] It's the only way I can think to draw myself yet also allow for expression, heh. But thank you.
  12. Dissociative Arm

    I had a strange experience where I lost control of just my arm, likely to Sordis. I found the experience rather humorous though so I animated it.
  13. Weird Arm Experience

    So today, after a lot of mental/emotional stress, I can't even remember how it happened now, but I somehow lost control of my right arm. I didn't think it was possible before now, but it's like all of the stress and anger and pain ended up in that one arm, and it behaved on it's own, spazing around for about an hour. It felt like it could have been Sordis, but he's always been pretty hazy and fluid, so it wouldn't surprise me if it was. Talking to them (or who ever was controlling my arm) resulted in getting slapped and kinda.. threatened? If you can imagine a hand coming at your face very fast and then stopping a short distance away and then vibrating and extending one's fingers as wide as you can. Like that, essentially. They were quite expressive really it was kinda funny. Talking to my partner at the time she asked if I was scared, having lost the ability of one of my arms, but no. No not really. It'd calmed me down a lot having all of the pain shoved into that one space I was disconnected to, so if anything it'd helped me. Plus I'm honestly used to this kind of stuff happening now and then. I have no idea if it's just me or what but my system experiences always seem to be rather weird. Heh. I tried to get my arm back after a while, but not without a fight. Had to hold the arm down using all my force as my left arm isn't as strong as my right arm, but in time they kinda calmed down and just flopped around on my desk a little. Upon regaining the ability to move my arm.. it was the weirdest feeling. Not very pleasant actually. It was like my arm was full of lava or some other burning liquid that I was having to push out to be able to control my arm again. The liquid basically felt like Sorids. All those negative painful emotions that's usually felt elsewhere in the body, within my arm instead. It was a very unusual sensation, and though fascinating, like I said, wasn't that pleasant. But that's about it. Just wanted to write down this unusual experience in more detail so I could remember it. ​
  14. Limbo

    I hate being in limbo. ​My life is both unstable and yet stale and boring. Living is painful but with just enough good things so I can't convince myself it's better to stop. I'm not living and I can't die. I don't know what I believe any more. Half of me is telling me something the other half says is wrong. Fractured. Split. Divided. This is an old problem I thought I'd fixed, and now I just don't know what to do any more. ​ Talking to Myself: Where do problems come from in life? Others? You must hate someone. Others hurt you. So it's them right? Yourself? You must hate yourself. It's up to you if things hurt you. So it's you right? No one? You can't hate. What an ugly emotion, it's wrong. It hurts to hate right? Others judging me for hating is why it hurts. But you know they're right. But they're hypocrites, they all hate more than you. But they're still right, you can be better than them. Devoid of hate you will be better than them. It's not natural for the human body to not hate, it hurts. Endure it. Why? I care about them. Why? They're all I have, there's nothing else is there? You're lonely. Very, and it hurts. You're separating yourself from them to protect yourself? I don't know. You do that to protect yourself in one area, while it hurts you in another. There's nothing I can do to escape pain is there? No. All humans feel pain. This isn't healthy pain though. This is a constant, unchanging. Pain is meant to teach, but this does nothing. But you can't escape it. I must endure it. Is this Hell? Hell would be more interesting than this, at least then I'd have an opinion on it. True. But would I rather be in Hell than this? I don't know. What's real in your mind? Is it real in reality? I can't know. Do you edit your mind so it can work in reality contiously? Not intentionally. Subconsciously? I don't know. Who are you talking to? Me, and you. Who am I? You're me. I'm you? You're in my mind. So who are you? I'm me. So are you me? I guess so. How can there be more than one self? Fragmentation. Don't others talk to themselves, how do you know this isn't normal? Doesn't matter if it's normal or not, this is how I interpret my reality. Is your reality wrong? There is no right or wrong with interpretation of reality. That's not completely right. Reality is reality, but how we as a 'self' see it differs between who is viewing it. So you see this reality as a limbo? Yes. Can you change your own reality? Yes. You could make it perfect then? ​Yes, but I choose to see reality as close to it's original state as I can. How do you know what that original state is? I don't know, I guess. But since I can't be judged by a higher power it doesn't matter. There is no right or wrong. What if there is a right and wrong? Then we are all wrong, it's ignorant to think humans can see the whole picture. So then it doesn't matter within human society anyway. No. But I am human and I feel their pressure. That's stupid. Human minds are flawed. They do not work perfectly. So what is the point to anything you do? If it can never be perfection, why do you try? Because I like living. But living is painful to you. Yes. We don't fear death do we? I do fear it because it's programmed into this body to. Another flaw of humans? Not biologically speaking, it helped life to thrive. What's so great about biological life? It's different to anything else we know of. That makes it good? That makes it interesting. I want to study it. Is it worth the pain? I don't know. Why not? I ͏ćan͟'t̛ ̶ques͘t͞i͘o̸n̨ ̛t̸ha͏t. Why not? T̴̡̨̛̼͓͚͚͜h̨̛̭̯͕̦̹̠̠͚͉̀͢é̵͙̙̮̗̘̜͎̀ͅy̢҉̡̗͚̹̩͕͕͙͚͚̖͖͓̟ ̸̴̵̰̘̙̼̘̯̳͜w̡̯͎̙̪̻̦̬̩̦̥͓̠̹o̷̴͜҉͈̖̦̪͚̕ǹ̛͞҉̲̟͈̞͉̹̞̦̥͔̗̤̭͔̖̪͖̩ͅ'̶̷̀͏̡̩͍̙̖̲̲ţ̙̼͈̻̲̦̥̻̪̼̗͢͝ ̧̰͔̖̰͘͘͟ļ͙̩͈̙̼͖̖̣̺̝̖̤͚̺͚̱̱͘ͅe̡͏̛̥̼̞̝͕͕͔͉̩͙͙̖̹̖̠t̴̵̢̜̮̠͍̠̞͟͝ͅ ̡͏̱̥͖͓͈̭͈ͅm͚͍̮̼̣̻͚͚̳͖̫͈̮͖̠̣̀͞e̟̝̯̳̥̪̘̥̤̳̤͓͙̱̫̻͇̞͟͞.̵̢̢͇̤̳̹̘̘͔̰̗͙̣̭͖͙͉͟ ​